CHAPTER 192: _ FOR MOTHER

Clarissa closes her eyes at her son’s declaration of love for a Moon Blessed as tears of terror now join the tears of grief on her cheeks. She thinks, furiously, desperately, for the sake of her son’s survival. Her political mind, the one that calculates angles and leverages weakness, kicks in one last time, fighting the dying wolf.

She opens her eyes, and the final decision is etched in a cold and ruthless resolve. She reaches out and grabs Amias’s face, holding him captive with her gaze. The touch is both loving and terrifyingly demanding.

"You must focus on Lira for our revenge," she insists, her voice filled with an intensely emotional plea. She uses the last shreds of her emotional leverage, the weapon of guilt he just apologized for. "You cannot choose her, Amias! You cannot bring this shame upon yourself, not when I will be gone! You will be defenseless! Do not let your father win! Do not give Ines the final, victorious laugh!"

Amias’s heart twists with agonizing guilt. It sounds like his mother has seen him as a weapon to bring the sources of her misery and the death of her mate to justice. This is a service Amias will gladly give up his own life for, but...

His reservation remains. There are so many ’what ifs’ involved. Too many:

"But what if I end up like you?" he chokes out. "What if the abandonment of the mate bond kills me?"

Clarissa’s eyes fill with a terrible, knowing certainty. "You won’t," she assures him. "You won’t make my mistake. Tell me, Amias, have you marked this Moon Blessed girl? Have you slept with her? Has your bond been consummated?"

Amias shakes his head vehemently. "No. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t do it because I believe she deserves a man who isn’t tied to another woman, and was waiting for the moment when I’ll be..." He glances down, knowing his mother wouldn’t like the next words. "... when I’ll be rid of Lira. I won’t be the cause of any woman’s sorrow, mother."

"Then it’s possible," Clarissa whispers, vigorously shaking her head. "The bond is early. It is not solidified by the joining of your wolves. All you have to do is ignore the bond while it’s early and focus on building a happy, devoted, and politically secure life with Lira."

She pleads with him, her voice dropping to a dying sigh. "That is the only way I can think of to save you, Amias. You can’t afford to be at the bottom of the Pack, exposed, despised. Once I’m gone, things will get worse for you here. You know how the less privileged are treated in this pack. You will be a tainted, second-class Alpha heir bound to an ordinary Moon Blessed. They will destroy you."

Amias wants to tell her he doesn’t think the word "ordinary" applies to Heidi in any way when she coughs. It’s a wet rattle that brings fresh blood to the handkerchief. The smell of death is overwhelming. It sends the thought and words back into his throat, then deeper into the depths of his mind to be locked and forever forgotten.

He is faced with the agonizing image of his beloved mother dying for her true mate and the horrifying projection of his own political destruction, and finally breaks. He sees the logic of self-preservation overriding the sentiment of love.

Heidi is gone, after all. She has chosen the twins. She has slept with Darien. The image of Morgan and Grayson also sliding into her since he knows how nasty the twins can be that they wouldn’t mind simultaneously taking her, burns into his mind, further shaking him off the thoughts of her.

She’s too used. Used by his brothers. Darien, for pleasure, maybe, and the twins, to finalize their bond with her. She’s gone. She didn’t choose or wait for him as discussed. She made her choice.

While Lira... Lira is here, offering a throne. His mother is dying, demanding justice.

He is utterly confused, his mind torn between duty, love, and survival. But the image of Clarissa’s blood-stained handkerchief is the final, compelling evidence.

He has to do this. He needs to be a man and give his mother the justice she deserves. After all, he’s never given her anything but more pain in her agonizing existence. He needs to make it up to her. Yes. This is what he MUST do.

"I would take a breath and not make a decision I will regret in the heat of the mo–" Vark tries to reason but Amias shuts him down before he can finish the sentence.

He doesn’t need to be a werewolf right now. He needs to be a human who will do anything to make the little time his mother has left to live worthily.

"I understand, Mother," he whispers, the decision tasting like ash and iron. He bows his head, making the vow of pure sacrifice.

Clarissa can’t believe her ears. She gives a deep gasp, eyes watering and lips parting in pure joy. She reaches up and cups his cheek, voice weak but sure. "Promise me, Amias."

"I promise you. I will never mark Heidi, and I will marry Lira. I will become the Alpha." He repeats in a tone of flat finality.

The sound of his vow echoes through the ravaged room, sealing his fate in blood and ambition. Amias rises, but finds the movement slow and agonizing. He feels like a puppet cutting his own strings. His gaze drifts to the broken mirror, and in the thousand fractured reflections, he doesn’t see a son; he sees a weapon being forged.

The hatred he now carries for Alpha Tobias is a cold, pure metal, infinitely stronger than the shame that had once defined him. His father sought to murder Clarissa with neglect and infidelity; Amias will murder his father’s legacy with ruthless victory. The son the father will never give even the smallest portion of his wealth will now claim the throne he so cherishes.

The revenge will not be fast; it will be comprehensive. He inhales the final, sickening breath of his mother’s suffering and lets the guilt settle into a permanent, hard layer of resolve. He leaves the pieces of his heart—Heidi, his principles, and his youth in the rubble of this room.

He chooses the cold, hard path of vengeance over the fragile, terrifying warmth of love. For his mother. Only for her...