CHAPTER 83: _ THIS LUST IS MADNESS

The word still rings through her skull like thunder.

Mate.

Her wolf doesn’t whisper it. She screams it. She howls it. The force of the recognition is so absolute, and so bone-deep that Heidi’s body betrays her instantly. Heat floods her veins. Not just adrenaline or just the rush of shifting. No... this is something else, something scorching and unbearable, clawing at her insides.

Her wolf makes her pace madly with want, tail lashing, and teeth gnashing. "This wolf is ours, girl. He’s ours!"

And Heidi... she feels it too. Goddess help her, she feels it.

Her body burns as though the moon itself has set her aflame. Her fur prickles, her muscles convulse, and slowly—too slowly... her wolf begins to retreat. Her bones snap again in a cruel and merciless way as it reshapes. Her claws shrink, her fangs recede, fur withdrawing into skin. The world tilts as she staggers backward, curling in on herself as the white brilliance of her wolf melts away.

She collapses to the forest floor, naked and shaking. The tatters of her emerald dress flutter around her like defeated banners. Her senses sharpen back into human clarity; the campfire smoke, the human couple’s distant screams fading into the city, the ache of her own heartbeat beating against her ribs.

And then it hits her.

What she was just about to do.

Her stomach heaves. A sour taste floods her mouth as she clutches her head. "No, no, no..." she chokes. "I almost—I almost killed them. I wanted it. I wanted it!"

She is disoriented from the pain of the memory.

"Oh my God. Oh my God, what did I just do? I almost..."

Her words dissolve into sobs. Her chest caves as tears stream hot down her face, blurring the night. "I was going to kill them. I was going to rip them apart. What’s happening to me? I don’t want this—I don’t want this!"

She presses her forehead into the dirt, shaking, her fingers digging into the soil like she could claw her shame out of the earth itself.

Her wolf howls inside her, caring less about her agony. "Mate, mate, mate—he’s right there! Look at him! Touch him! Claim him!"

"Shut up!" Heidi screams, fisting at her own hair.

Her voice is broken. She doesn’t care that she’s yelling at herself. She doesn’t care that the night is listening. "I don’t want to be a monster! I don’t want to be this!"

Her wolf protests, snarling in the back of her mind, "You are no monster. You are born to hunt. Born to rule. Born for him."

But Heidi doesn’t hear. Or maybe she refuses to. She presses her forehead into the soil, sobbing until her whole body trembles. The shame is unbearable. The image of the couple’s terrified faces burns behind her eyes. What kind of person—what kind of thing... gets high on fear?

She forgets everything else. Forgets the glowing silver wolf who blocked her. Forgets the night air that quivers with power. Even forgets the word that branded itself into her bones.

Until a hand touches her shoulder.

She screams.

Her whole body jerks away, scrambling in the dirt, chest heaving. "Don’t touch me!" she shrieks, gawk-eyed.

But she sees him as she spins. It’s not the silver wolf anymore. It’s a man. Standing in front of her, moonlight pouring over him like a benediction, is Amias.

His hair... bloody hell, his silvery blond hair seems long enough to whip in the night breeze. Heidi knows it has always been like that but the way it is highlighted by the moonlight seems to lengthen its strands.

His silver eyes are burning, glowing, fixed entirely on her. It gets better... or worse; he’s NAKED! Utterly, devastatingly, and shamelessly naked.

Heidi’s breath halts.

She doesn’t know what to react to first. The raw pull beating through her chest, dragging her toward him? The impossible beauty of him under the moonlight? The aching heat floods her stomach and sinks lower, lower until she squirms where she sits? Or the simple fact that his body—oh goddess, his body is carved perfection.

Broad shoulders, lean muscle, chest dusted lightly with hair, abs ridged like a map of sin, his thighs strong, and...

"Oh no," Heidi whispers in a half-strangled strangle, covering her face with her hands. Her skin feels like it’s about to explode.

But it doesn’t matter. Because when she peeks between her fingers, Amias is still there. He’s still staring. And worse... he looks just as undone.

His chest heaves. His fists clench and unclench at his sides as if he’s fighting the same war. His jaw tightens, and when his silver eyes drag over her naked form, lingering, hungry, tortured... Heidi feels her entire body ignite.

The pull she’s felt for the Bellamy brother triples in the presence of Amias under the shade of the Moon, No—it explodes.

Her wolf purrs inside her. "Yes... Yes, do you feel it now? He’s ours."

He’s theirs? He’s Lira’s, she wishes she could scoff, but the picture of him with Lira sends a jab of pain crashing into her chest:

"Oh hell no," Heidi mutters, pressing her palms into her face. "Not right now. This is not happening right now..."

But then she makes the mistake of meeting his eyes and everything inside her detonates.

It’s not just an attraction. It’s not even lust. It’s a magnetic pull so strong she swears her body is about to leap without her permission.

Her wolf is already howling. "Jump! Claim him! Don’t you dare hesitate, little wolf!"

Heidi sucks in an aroused breath. Her hands tremble. And then, before she can even process it, she...

... launches at him.

Amias catches her instantly, like he knew she’d come, his arms banding tight around her bare waist. Their chests crash together, the heat of his skin searing hers. Her legs wrap around his hips instantly, clinging as though she’ll drown if she lets go.

They take a fleeting moment to gaze into the depths of each other’s eyes. And in the purity of that man’s eyes, all Heidi sees is pain behind all that need on the surface. She wants to take a second back to understand how a person could wield such an amount of anguish hidden under their mask when their mouths collide.