CHAPTER 85: _ RESTRAINT

"No! What are you doing?"

Amias doesn’t answer immediately. He just shakes his head in a definitive motion that makes the silvery strands of his hair fall across his face. It’s a motion of denial, of surrender, and of something she can’t possibly understand.

He pulls his hands away, leaving her skin buzzing and her body aching for the contact to return. The cold night air rushes in to fill the space where his body had been, and her own skin that is still greasy with sweat and the lingering heat of their passion, prickles at the sudden chill.

"I can’t do this, Heidi," he says in a ragged growl that sends shivers down her spine.

Shivers of raw, unfulfilled need.

Heidi’s brain which was a vortex of pleasure a moment ago stutters back to a semblance of thought. The rational part of her—the part that had just moments ago been terrified of becoming a monster, is now completely overridden by the hot, buzzing heat of her wolf and her body.

"Why?" she asks, barely keeping herself from scoffing.

She wants to ask if it’s because she’s a Moon Blessed. Maybe because she’s one of the lowest-ranking members of the pack and not befitting a person of his status.

Instead, she looks at him with bewilderment. Her gaze then drops, and she sees herself through his eyes: naked, shivering, and dripping with desire. The sight of herself, so utterly uninhibited, would have sent the old Heidi into a fit of mortification. But this new, untamed Heidi feels only a rush of fierce pride and a powerful wave of defiance.

She wants him to know that what he just tasted, what he just saw, is all for him.

And so, she does the unthinkable.

Slowly, her fingers trail down her own stomach, over her still-trembling hips, and then lower. She finds her own wet, swollen core that is still throbbing from his touch and dips a finger inside, rubbing, thrusting, and teasing both him and herself.

After letting out a sigh of unadulterated pleasure as the sensation begins to flood her senses once again, her fingers part her folds. With a daring she never knew she possessed, she brings a finger to her mouth. She sucks on it, her eyes fixated on his with a brazen silent question in their depths.

"Is this not juicy enough for you?" she asks, slithering on the tree like a snake would curl itself over its bark.

Amias lets out a strangled groan. She can hear the sound of pure agony and delight in it. His silver eyes, which had been burning with a fierce light, now seem to fume with an even hotter, and more consuming fire.

"God, you’re killing me. You’re so unbelievably sexy." He gulps.

His gaze travels over her body in a long, leisurely descent that makes her skin feel on fire. "Your body is insane," he breathes, and she can feel his words like a physical touch. "Your curves... they’re perfect. And your hair..."

He reaches a hand out, and a single, thick strand of her butterscotch-colored hair curls around his finger. He rubs it between his thumb and index finger, as though memorizing its texture. "It’s captivating."

She watches him shut his eyes as though he needs a moment of silence to process the beauty of them and the feminine masterpiece before him. Finally, he pulls his hand back, leaving the air in high tension between them.

"My wolf is howling for you, Heidi," he says, and for the first time, there is an inkling of vulnerability in his voice.

Heidi doesn’t need to strain before grasping the confession of need in his tone. "It’s official now. We’re mates. It was always a theory before, for me and my brothers. We felt the pull... but it was muted, like a radio signal with static. Now that my wolf has seen yours, felt your power... the static is gone. The connection is a hundred times stronger than before. You can’t possibly comprehend how crazy I want you right now."

The words—the confession only confuses her more. Heidi is stunned that before Amias Bellamy’s eyes, she can also be perfection, and not just the pesky Moon-blessed created for him to test his ’ignoring’ tactics on.

The heat in her body is a roaring furnace, and the wolf is fanning the flames. All reason is gone. All she knows is this man, this raw, perfect, beautiful man, wants her. He wants her as badly as she wants him, and yet he’s pulling away.

Her voice is filled with a desperate, pleading confusion as she asks: "Then what’s the problem? If you want me this much, what could possibly be the problem?"

He lets out a long and heavy sigh that seems to carry all the weight of the world. He runs a hand through his hair, his silver eyes fixed on a distant point beyond her. He looks conflicted, tormented, and utterly lost.

"The problem," he says, "is that I can’t afford to do this."

Her brow furrows in confusion. "Afford to do what?"

"This," he says, gesturing between their two naked bodies. "Heidi, you don’t understand. What happened tonight... what you did... You have immense potential. I’ve never seen a wolf like yours. The sheer power... the defiance... It’s captivating. I can’t let that go to waste. I plan on personally training you."

Heidi’s eyes widen in disbelief. Her mind rotates. Amias Bellamy, the cold, unreadable king of the school, wants to train her? The girl who was called a charity case, a rat, and a cheap fuck? The girl who, just an hour ago, was about to rip a human’s throat out?

"You want to... train me?" she stammers.

He nods, bringing his gaze back to her with a fierce, serious look on his face. "Yes. And that means we’ll be spending a lot of time together. A lot of time."

He takes a step closer, the earthly scent of him filling her lungs and making her heart pound. "The bond between us... It’s a fire, Heidi. And if we give in to it now, every time we try to train, every time we touch... we won’t be training. We’ll be having sex. We need to practice restraint. We need to build a foundation. A foundation of control, not just desire."

Heidi feels a wave of shock wash over her like a cold splash of reality in the hot, raging storm of her desire. A part of her understands what he’s saying. He’s talking about a long-term goal. But her wolf, and her body, are in too much heat to think properly.