CHAPTER 242: CHAPTER 242: THE ONLY FEAR

Shen Jinci’s fingertips brushed through Bian Yue’s hair, the movement gentle, "Worried about me?"

Bian Yue hesitated for a moment before nodding, her brows and eyes conveying sincerity: "Shen Jinci, I’m really worried about you."

Shen Jinci felt immensely cherished, he gazed into Bian Yue’s eyes, kissed her eyelids softly, and sighed lightly, "Don’t worry, I won’t go there anymore."

Bian Yue felt slightly reassured, she lowered her head again to look at the badge in her hand. Its shape was irregular, entirely black, with eerie patterns flowing on it and made of a very special material that felt indescribably cold to the touch.

"Is this badge the reason why you risked going back?" Bian Yue’s nose tingled, she spoke softly, "Just to prove your past to me?"

"Yes, it’s very important to me," Shen Jinci earnestly looked at Bian Yue’s face, speaking every word with great caution, "Even if it costs me, even if there’s danger, my return this time was just to find evidence to prove my identity. Yueyue, I hope you can trust me, I have never lied to you."

Bian Yue felt the sourness in her nose becoming even more severe.

"I know you haven’t lied to me, Shen Jinci, I believe everything you’ve told me," Bian Yue shook her head, her eyes clear and clean, slowly raising her gaze to focus intently on Shen Jinci. She paused before asking, "But what if, what if I never believed you? Would you keep looking for so-called proof?"

"Yes," Shen Jinci paused, his hands gently cradling Bian Yue’s cheeks, his gaze filled with treasured affection, his voice even more tender, "I will keep looking until you are willing to believe me."

"I do believe, Jinci, I believe all the words you’ve told me, I was wrong before, I shouldn’t have doubted you, I didn’t fully trust you," Bian Yue held Shen Jinci’s hands, tears becoming more evident in her eyes, her voice nearly choking up: "Can you... not be disappointed in me?"

"Yueyue, I have never been disappointed in you, not ever..." Shen Jinci’s tone faltered slightly, his eyes fixed on the moisture rimming Bian Yue’s eyes, leaning down to kiss her tears, he said, "My only fear is your disappointment in me, because I am not the Shen Jinci as seen by the world, nor am I a noble gentleman. I know my past is dark and murky, that’s why I’ve always been afraid to tell you the truth, Yueyue, I’m truly frightened of losing you."

They held each other like this, clarifying all previous misunderstandings.

The night had deepened profoundly, Bian Yue curled up in Shen Jinci’s embrace, eyes closed, feeling reaffirmed for the first time since the day resentment arose between them.

Her voice hoarse, she said, "By the way, you haven’t told me, how did you get this badge?"

"I asked the current Godfather for this badge; we are on good terms," Shen Jinci kissed Bian Yue’s hair, his voice tender and lingering: "So Yueyue doesn’t have to worry, no one will pursue me to kill me."

Bian Yue didn’t really believe everything was that smooth.

The moment Shen Jinci appeared at the airport, although he said nothing, the sharp and solemn air on his face couldn’t deceive anyone. Bian Yue knew he must have gone through a lot of trouble to stand in front of her unscathed.

But right now, she was truly exhausted, so she let herself close her eyes and slowly drift off to sleep.

When Bian Yue woke up, it was the moment Shen Jinci laid her on the bed before he turned to leave.

Her emotions instantly surged back, sleepiness dissipated, she slowly opened her eyes on the bed, watching Shen Jinci’s back.

Bian Yue never knew she could depend on someone to such an extent, that his brief departure could jolt her awake despite her extreme fatigue.

Not until Shen Jinci entered the adjacent washroom did Bian Yue belatedly blink her eyes, the phone screen beside her lit up, Bian Yue picked up the phone, and saw the headlines on it: Li Sihe passed away, Zhuang Jie Ning and Tang Yuwei made a scene at the hospital made headline news.

Before Shen Jinci returned to Bian Yue’s side, all the emotions were suppressed by Bian Yue.

She dared not show even a hint of vulnerability, but the person who had died was Li Sihe, the one who had been her refuge during her most helpless youth, giving her carefree teenage days, regardless of his reasons for approaching her.

Bian Yue blinked her eyes, belatedly realizing, her hot tears rolling down in silence.

It was like she was clutching a scalding hot potato, trembling for a moment before tossing her cell phone aside.

Overwhelmed by immense sorrow, she helplessly sat up and looked towards the direction of the bathroom.

The next moment, Bian Yue got up.

She walked very slowly, her feet bare on the cold floor, feeling a suffocating pain.

Who knows how much time had passed, but Bian Yue finally arrived at the bathroom door, lifted her hand wanting to knock, when the door opened from the inside.

Bian Yue’s hand remained suspended, motionless, as she stood opposite Shen Jinci, who was in his robe.

His brows and eyes were calm and gentle, looking at her tear-stained face, he did not ask anything, just pulled her into his arms.

Bian Yue, in his embrace, stiffened for a moment, and then clutched his clothes tightly, silently weeping.

Shen Jinci frowned, patting Bian Yue’s back lightly rhythm by rhythm, his voice too soft to be lighter, "It’s okay, Yueyue, I will always be by your side, I won’t go anywhere."

Bian Yue did not speak, just cried, and Shen Jinci said again, sorry, he shouldn’t have gone abroad without discussing it with her first, it won’t happen again.

He was tender, almost without any grudge, accommodating all her emotions.

Bian Yue’s heart ached, how could she not know, what Shen Jinci was saying to her at this moment meant.

She looked up at him, her voice trembling as she finally spoke: "Jinci, you’ll be alright, won’t you? You’ll never have an accident, right?"

"Yes, when Yueyue gets old, I will still take care of Yueyue. I will definitely take good care of myself; I will never leave before Yueyue," his soft and steady assurance finally calmed Bian Yue’s emotions.

And then Shen Jinci lifted her in a bridal carry towards the sofa.

He set Bian Yue down, bent over, and softly said, "I’ll get you a glass of water."

But Bian Yue suddenly widened her eyes, she saw the wound on Shen Jinci’s chest, the shocking wound, even oozing blood,

He had not intended to tell her, it was only exposed because of the clothes that had been pulled when he just hugged her.

But he acted as if nothing had happened, unfazed.

At the moment Shen Jinci stood up, Bian Yue grasped his wrist tightly. Staring at him, stunned, her tears fell once more.

Shen Jinci squatted down, softly coaxing her: "What’s the matter? Are you afraid to be alone?"