CHAPTER 40: ELEANOR’S DESPAIR AND HOPE

’I’ll never get the rest I want, huh?’ I thought in despair as I walked lifelessly towards Eleanor’s room

Why am I going to her room, you say?

Well then, let’s move back a bit to a few minutes ago.

........

...

After I exited the throne room, I immediately wanted to go back and rest for a while

but...

l"Lord Valerian, you need to go see Lady Eleanor." I heard the maid Claire say those words with a serious expression

’Spare me, damn it,’ I internally screamed and immediately said, "I am sorry I can’t say I am tired to Eleanor."

And tried to flee from her.

But of course, I’d be overjoyed if I actually managed to escape.

Claire captured me in a space bubble again and looked at me very seriously.

"Lord Valerian, I am very serious. Lady Eleanor is in bad condition," She said with worry in her eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, getting serious as well.

’Did she get caught in something troublesome again?’ I thought in annoyance, worry, and most of all anger at whoever messed with my possession

’SHE IS MINE.’ That thought echoed in my mind like a lion’s roar

"Please don’t get agitated, Lord Valerian. Lady Elaenor is fine physically, but her mental condition is..."

Claire hesitated to say the rest, but I understood what she meant.

’She is blaming herself, huh...’ I smiled wryly and turned towards Claire.

"Release me, I’ll go on my own," I said to Claire, who nodded obediently.

...............

....

Returning back

I was now standing in front of Eleanor’s room.

But before I could open the door, I said to Claire Besides me.

"Can you talk to Eleanor before me? I want to know how she reacts to others besides me."

After all, she might not reveal all of her problems in front of me.

But to Claire, who is her personal maid, I could get an idea of what she is going through exactly.

"Understood," She nodded and entered the room, which was pitch dark like the first time I reunited with her.

"How could I do that? Is darling going to hate? No, he probably hates me already now. I don’t want that, no, no, no, no!" I heard her voice even from out of the room, full of despair and hopelessness.

’As expected, she is blaming herself,’ I thought with a sigh, and also entered the room, but this time used a protective layer of mana that didn’t let a sound or scent out from my body.

"Lady Eleanor," Claire called out to Eleanor, who was curled on her bed with a dark look.

It seems she hasn’t eaten anything, perhaps for a week.

"Claire? Why are you here? I ALREADY FUCKING TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME," Eleanor at first whispered with a confused expression, then shouted with extreme annoyance.

But Claire was unfazed and said to Eleanor with a calm look.

"My lady, you had not stepped outside of your room for a week. Lord Valerian is already awake. Please get ready to meet him."

Eleanor’s expression brightened a little at the words, but soon drowned in despair again.

"No !...NO! I have no face to meet him now. I can’t, when I almost became the reason for his death. Not when I am sure he will truly hate me now, and this time not even the ritual will work."

She muttered in despair and bit on her lips, hard.

"IT’S all because of me if I killed those bitches myself, then I wouldn’t have to go through this. No...If you hadn’t stopped me that day from turning Darling, None of this would have happened," Eleanor looked at Claire with intense resentment.

’Wait, so Claire was the one who saved me that day?’ I realised and internally shouted in disbelief.

Can’t believe I was so angry at my lifetime saviour

It’s alright now, Claire. I forgive you.

"My lady, we both know if you did that at that time, no one, not even the duchess, could have saved you," Claire said with a cold and lecturing voice, making Eleanor flinch and retort back.

"AT LEAST I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SHARE MY DARLING," She shouted and wanted to continue shouting at Claire.

However...

"But would Lord Valerian ever have liked you even in the most remote way?" Claire’s words made Eleanor silent and bite her lips

This time, she couldn’t retort

"I most certainly wouldn’t, that’s for sure," I said, revealing myself from the darkness to Eleanor under the moonlight from the window.

Eleanor looked surprised and devastated at my sudden arrival and immediately gazed dangerously towards Claire.

"Darling, why are you here? And um it’s not what it looks like, I am not—" Eleanor tried to explain the situation as if she didn’t want to show herself like that to me.

But I stopped her by pressing my finger to her lip.

"Keep quiet, I understand your feelings, and I won’t deny it, I AM ANGRY AT YOU," I said with a calm and cold look.

At my words, Eleanor’s face turned deathly pale as she imagined the worst.

But I smirked and turned towards Claire.

"Can you leave us alone? I need to talk to her alone." I said, and Claire nodded with a bow and left in the blink of an eye

Seeing Claire gone, Eleanor was confused and looked at me.

"Eleanor, let me get this straight. Though you are the reason that made my childhood rough, I don’t hate you, yes, I dislike and always did, but" I started while gazing into Eleanor’s eyes like a predator, my eyes glowing red.

"You are also the first girl I was interested in," I said with a sad smile.

However, Eleanor wasn’t happy with the information.

On the contrary, she despaired more.

’So I ruined my chance by acting impatient,’ She thought in anger about her past actions.

I understood what she was thinking just by her expression.

"Yes, you might have had a chance if you acted more girly and less arrogant, then perhaps the immature me who was a bit attracted to your mug might have fallen hard in love," I said, increasing the intensity of Eleanor’s displeasure towards her past actions.

"Enough about the past, let’s move to the present," I said, bringing Eleanor back from her thoughts. "If i have to say now, Eleanor, because of your actions in trapping me in this marriage that I am not even wanting to escape from, you have earned back my affection for you."

Eleanor’s face brightened a little at the words.

But I wasn’t finished.

"However, I now have an unimaginable and intense possession towards all five of you. If anyone harms a single one of you five, I am not kidding, I’ll kill that person on the spot, no matter what it takes, and yes..EVEN IF IT’S YOU, ELEANOR, I will not spare even you," I said with a dark look and roughly held her chin.

"So don’t you dare to harm any single one of you five, not even yourself. You all belong to me," I muttered with a crazy smile and added, "Of course, as long as you don’t fight in front of me and don’t kill each other while fighting, I am fine."

Eleanor lowered her head in my declaration and whispered.

"So I’d have to share you regardless of my desires," She muttered with tears in her eyes.

"Unfortunate, just like you ignored my feelings, I’d have to ignore yours as well," I said, and hugged her and made her sit on my lap.

Eleanor looked on while biting her lips tearfully, " At the very least, you’ll love right, I really can’t live knowing the only man I love hates me."

I smiled wryly and kissed her forehead, "I can’t have you dying though, guess I’d have to try and love you after all," and ended with a short laugh.

Eleanor pouted and bit on my neck, "At least don’t act like you are forced, humf."

I felt her tearing my skin gently and suck on my blood while hugging me tight.

"Well, the way my heart feels entirely depends on it; I have no control," I said and kissed her neck. "Though if you behave properly and don’t just cause trouble in front of me, I’ll consider forcing myself to love you."

As I said, she bit me harder and gave a side glare.

’I said don’t act like that.’ Her eyes seemed to scream in annoyance.

I laughed and bit her neck as well, drinking a little blood to recover some of my vitality.

Because GOD DAMN I AM TIRED....

"Darling ahnn~ You forgave me about the thing with that witch, right?" Eleanor asked after satisfying her thirst and moaned between her words

"Ah! Yes, I almost forgot, so that you never do such a mischievous deed again, I would need to punish you," I said with a smirk.

Eleanor gulped and stared at me with expectation.