CHAPTER 206: CHAPTER 206: LET ME BE YOUR DOCTOR

~Evric’s POV~

I walked over, took his cold and resistant hand, and pulled him gently toward me. "Come with me. Let’s talk."

I guided Zayn into the quiet spare room. The moment the door clicked shut, sealing us in, he didn’t wait for me to speak. He rushed forward and threw his arms around me, holding on with a desperate, crushing strength. His entire body was trembling, a stark contrast to his proud, rigid posture of the night before.

"Babe," he whispered into my chest, his voice muffled and raw. "Please, can you hold me for a second. I can’t look at you right now."

I managed a soft smile, kissing his hair gently. "Yes," I murmured. "Anything for you, baby."

I wrapped my arms around him. He clung to me, silent for a long moment.

We stood suspended like that, until his breath hitched, and his voice came out barely a thread of sound against my ear. "Baby?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Baby, I feel terrible. Tell me do you hate me for what I said last night?"

"No, never," I insisted, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I could never hate you."

"I regret it so much," he continued, pulling back just enough to look up, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I really regret saying those words to you. I was just so exhausted from the morning, and I was angry and scared. When you blocked the door and pinned me, I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that I wanted you to stop." He gripped my suit jacket. "You could have me anytime you want, Evric. I was just... I was just tired. And I was scared."

"Babe," I interrupted gently, holding his face in my hands. "Before you break down completely, we need to do this right. Look at me."

He nodded, a silent, fragile acceptance.

"Let’s sit down," I said, guiding him to the edge of the bed. I turned a heavy upholstered chair to face him and sat down, taking his hands—they were still damn near shaking—in mine.

"We need to talk," I said quietly.

"Okay, you go first," Zayn whispered.

"No, you first," I insisted.

Zayn lifted his head slightly and smirked. "I’ll let you go first, since you’re the one leading this relationship."

I managed a faint, bittersweet smile at the title. "Okay. I will go first."

My expression instantly shifted to serious, all traces of lightness gone. I took a deep breath.

"I am so deeply sorry, Zayn. For everything," I began, my voice thick with emotion. "I apologize for the fight in the restroom. There is no excuse for my possessiveness. I was jealous, and I acted like an idiot. I was wrong to accuse you of enjoying my brother’s company more than mine, and I was wrong to call you out in front of everyone."

Zayn inhaled sharply, ready to speak, but I held his gaze, knowing I had to get to the core of the damage first.

"Babe," I continued, my voice dropping lower. "Yesterday, from the moment I left the office, I was under a powerful drug. Even right now, I’m still not completely myself. But hear me: even at that, I should never have acted so rashly by using force to try and sleep with you."

I squeezed Zayn’s hands, my gaze fixed on his. "I apologize for last night. For forcing you. For blocking the door, pinning you down, and trying to tear your clothes off. No matter what I was feeling, no matter what stress I was under, that was wrong. That was unacceptable. I violated your trust and your boundaries, and I swear to you, I will spend the rest of our lives making sure you feel safe and respected."

Tears were already rolling down Zayn’s cheeks as I finished my devastating apology. When I looked at him, he didn’t hesitate to speak, though his voice was thick with emotion.

"I’m sorry, Evric," Zayn whispered, his voice catching. He used his hand to cup my face, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. "I’m sorry for not being strong enough for you."

I held my breath, letting him speak. I wouldn’t interrupt him again.

"I know you know my limit," he continued, his voice wavering, "and you always stop when I tell you to. But..." He swallowed hard, pressing a hand over his mouth as if trying to keep the devastating truth trapped inside.

"So, but what? Be honest," I urged him, my voice barely a rustle of sound.

He stood up from the bed and sat squarely on my lap, resting his weight against me. His body was still shaking with residual terror and regret. He clung to me like a life raft, then buried his face against my neck.

"Evric," he whispered, his voice fracturing. "Going inside me doesn’t every time feel good."

My heart shattered. I tightened my arms around him, absorbing his confession in silent agony.

"Especially when I’m still sore and you demand it," he broke down, the words wet against my skin. "What I feel down there, when I haven’t fully healed, is pain. The pain is much, much more than the pleasure. I do enjoy it more if there’s a proper gap between sessions."

I felt the confession like a physical blow. I held him tighter.

His deepest fear spilled out next. "I was always scared that if I kept rejecting you, you might..." He pulled back, his eyes dark with the shame of his insecurity. "I should be honest, Evric. It’s not every time it feels good inside when you enter me, but I was so damn scared you might leave. That I wasn’t able to satisfy you. What if you leave? I wouldn’t be able to live without you.

"

Hearing the true depth of his suffering, my own vision blurred. Tears streamed down my face, but I didn’t interrupt. He needed to empty this burden.

"It’s not that I’m lazy," he rushed on, needing me to understand. "I just need to rest a little bit. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it; it’s that I don’t enjoy it inside every time." He shifted, trying to articulate the shift in our dynamic. "I want you too! But I’m just scared I won’t be able to finish what I started. When we first met, I used to initiate sex because then it was a mind game, and you weren’t frequently going inside me. But since you started going inside me, I haven’t asked. I just wait for you to come. I’m really sorry, Evric, but I don’t know if I was doing this right, or if I was just suffering your need."

"Hey, babe, listen..." I started, my voice ragged, but he cut back in, driven by the need to confess the rest.

He choked out his biggest regret. "I’m sorry, Evric. I am so terribly sorry for what I said. When you were pinning me to the bed, I was so scared and overwhelmed... I lashed out. I didn’t know what to say to make you stop." He looked directly into my eyes, the shame palpable. "I’m sorry for calling you a sex addict. I hate myself for putting that thought in your head."

"I called you a sex addict," he admitted, the words barely a whisper, "but only because I felt I wasn’t good enough. If I was good enough, I wouldn’t see your desire as a big deal, even if we were fighting, but I was..."

"Enough," I whispered fiercely, pulling his face toward mine. "Babe, that’s enough." I reached out and gently wiped the fresh tears from his cheeks. "I understand, love. I felt awful yesterday when you said it, but now I understand why you did. But I want you to know: sex is not the only reason we are in this relationship."

I drew him closer, the fear of losing him finally breaking through my resolve. "Zayn, if you keep thinking this way, that you are not enough or not doing it right, you will lose interest in me. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. My life without you would genuinely be meaningless. I know I’m not perfect, and I know I have terrible possessive instincts, but please believe me when I say I want to change. I’m terrified of losing you. If you ever left me, I don’t know what I’d do."

"I know where I was doing it wrong, babe," I continued, my voice breaking with self-recrimination. "I understand how we started and how things are now. Trust me, I will adjust everything and balance it. Just stop thinking you are not enough." I tightened my embrace, the fear overwhelming me. "I wouldn’t want your own thoughts to make you leave me. What if you one day decide you can’t take it anymore?"

Zayn’s fear mirrored mine, deep and immediate. "I’m not leaving you, Evric," he vowed, his arms wrapping around my neck tightly. "I am just as afraid of losing you. I can’t live without you either."

"Zayn," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "I know you are older than me and have been so patient. Can you be patient just a little longer and let us figure this out together? We can do it together. Please, baby."

"Okay, baby," he agreed, leaning his forehead against mine. "I want you to know I don’t need anyone but you."

"I love you so much, Zayn."

He didn’t reply with words. He answered with action, kissing me with a renewed depth that melted away the night’s despair. He began unbuttoning his own shirt, a silent signal of his restored trust and commitment.

I stopped his hands gently. "Babe, are you sure? I can wait until you are ready. We could go to the hospital after we leave here."

Zayn’s eyes held a fierce light, desire mixed with determination. "Let me be your doctor," he challenged softly.