CHAPTER 189: CHAPTER 189: NOT IN MY HOUSE

The manor’s dining hall was all winter light and heavy oak, with fire snapping in the hearth like punctuation to the tension. The long table, usually too large for everyday meals, was filled; Ashwin and Robert bracketed the room in their quiet vigilance, Ruo practically vibrating with curiosity, and Connor sprawled in his chair pretending he wasn’t rattled.

And at the head, casually cutting into the roast like he owned the place, sat Uno. The god of beginnings. The one who wasn’t supposed to be there.

Elias sat stiff in his chair, halfway between Victor’s steady presence on one side and the absurdity of Uno calmly buttering bread on the other. He blinked slowly, trying to make sense of it. "Okay," he said finally, gesturing vaguely with his fork. "I need someone to explain why the god of... everything... is currently eating mashed potatoes in Victor’s dining room."

Uno didn’t even look up, just scooped another bite with infuriating calm. "Because they’re excellent mashed potatoes," he said lightly. "Your chef outdid himself. Tell him I said so."

Elias stared at him, then at Victor. "Does he even need to eat?"

Victor’s crimson eyes slid to him, amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth. "No," he said smoothly.

Uno wagged his fork in Elias’s direction, grin flashing. "Need? No. Enjoy? Absolutely. You think I created taste just to watch everyone else have fun with it?"

Ruo snorted into her glass. Connor, for once, was speechless.

Elias pressed his fingers to his temple. "So let me get this straight. You can bend worlds, shape fate, and pull ether out of the air, but right now you’re sitting here, stealing rolls like it’s Sunday lunch."

"Stealing?" Uno’s blue eyes glinted, bright and wicked. "I call it sampling. Perks of seniority."

Victor’s mouth curved, pride and irritation both layered in his expression. "Ignore him," he said to Elias. "He’s only here because he’s bored."

Uno raised his glass in a mock toast, still smiling. "Guilty."

Elias leaned back, eyeing him like a puzzle he didn’t want to solve. "And this is normal for you two?"

Victor’s grin widened, all teeth. "This is as normal as he gets."

Elias stared down at his plate, at the neat pile of roast and potatoes he hadn’t touched, and tried, truly tried, to make sense of the situation.

"Just for the record," he said slowly, gesturing with his fork like it could draw the logic out of the air, "six months ago my biggest problem was caffeine withdrawal and whether my PhD advisor would notice I’d recycled an old chart. And now..." He flicked his fork toward Uno at the head of the table, then back to Victor beside him. "...now I’m apparently babysitting a god with a boredom problem and another one who thinks sulking in my lap is a legitimate pastime."

Ruo choked on her wine. Connor finally let out a bark of laughter that died fast under Robert’s glare.

Uno only looked pleased, leaning back in his chair with a wolfish smile. "Handler of gods has a nice ring to it," he said, swirling his glass. "You should put it on your CV."

Victor’s crimson eyes slid to him, narrowed in a way that made even Ashwin shift his stance. "Don’t encourage him."

"I don’t need encouragement," Elias muttered, dragging a hand down his face. "What I need is a nap and about seven espressos, not..." He gestured again at Uno, at Victor, at the firelit absurdity of the dining room. "...this."

Uno raised his brows, feigning innocence. "This is history. Legends. You’re living the dream."

Elias gave him a flat look. "My dream involves tenure, bad coffee, and grading papers at three in the morning. Not whatever this is."

Victor’s teeth flashed in a slow smile, entirely unrepentant. "It’s still your life," he murmured, tone warm with pride and something else beneath it. "You chose me. The rest follows."

Elias tipped his head back against the chair, muttering skyward. "Handler of gods. Great. Next week I’ll be refereeing divine slap fights, won’t I?"

"Only if you’re lucky," Uno said cheerfully, raising his glass in mock salute.

Victor’s crimson gaze cut sharp across the table, his hand tightening on the stem of his own untouched glass. "Enough." The velvet edge in his tone had sharpened, the kind that could make most mortals fold. "What do you plan, Uno? Because I’ll say this once..." his jaw flexed, and Elias felt the weight of it even from his seat, "you are not staying in my manor."

Uno blinked, all wide-eyed innocence, then leaned an elbow on the table like this was nothing more serious than a card game. "What, no guest room for an old friend?"

"You’re not a guest," Victor shot back, low and unamused. "You never are. So what do you want?"

For a beat the fire snapped in the silence, casting long shadows across oak and glass. Ruo sat forward, eager despite herself, while Connor only slouched deeper, eyes flicking between the two like he was watching a match set to explode. Ashwin’s hand hovered at his sidearm, though he looked like he wasn’t sure whether it was for Uno or his own nerves.

Elias dragged a hand down his face. "Gods, I’m in a drama," he muttered under his breath. "Somebody tell me we’re not about to have a custody battle in the middle of dinner."

Uno’s grin returned, sharp and maddeningly calm. "Custody?" He tapped his glass against the table once, amused. "Not at all. I just wanted to see what the Executioner’s mate looked like up close." His blue eyes slid to Elias, bright and unapologetic. "And now I see he’s even more entertaining than I expected."

Victor’s hand twitched against the table, the wood creaking faintly under the restrained strength. His teeth showed in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. "Careful."

Uno only laughed softly, swirling the last of his wine. "There it is. The Victor I remember. Honestly..." he tipped the glass back, swallowed the final sip like it was water, and set it down with deliberate care, "you should be thanking me. I’m bored. And bored gods are unpredictable. At least with me here, you know where my eyes are."

Elias stared at him, then at Victor, then back at Uno again. "That’s your sales pitch?" he asked flatly. "You’re basically saying, ’keep me close or I’ll cause trouble.’"

Uno’s grin widened, unapologetic. "Exactly."

Victor exhaled slowly through his nose, crimson gaze burning. "Not in my house."