228 Grace Notifications (END BOOK FOUR)

    228 Grace: Notifications — (END BOOK FOUR)

    And then stupid me had to…

    Though I’m not exactly opposed, I might die of embarrassment before the words get

    out.

    Ruining beautiful memories with thoughts of that bastard should be illegal. Thought police, lock me up.

    From Lyre.

    Ugh.

    Sleeping… isn’t happening.

    Mysterious App issues aside, I just need to wait for its maintenance to end so I can decipher my new mission and get the hell out of here. Between worrying about Ellie’s next move, the bad memories I seem to hold onto now that I’m back, and the headache of knowing Caeriel’s watching my every move…

    They’re still snoozing peacefully.

    Then I bang my face against my pillow a few times with a silent groan.

    I hope not.

    [LYRE: Want some more kids?]

    [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: Emergency Maintenance in Progress.]

    But–funny, how he had so much respect and yet never stopped.

    Or do prayers just go into the abyss?

    If I really focus, I wonder how long it would take to top me off. And then, maybe, we can revisit this whole virginity thing and take care of the question once and for all…

    There’s a whole cluster of alerts, all from the Divinity App.

    First off: I knew that damn mission alert was bugged to hell and back. Hopefully whatever they’re doing will fix it so I know what I’m supposed to do next.

    17:05

    Fuck.

    228 Grace Notifications (END BOOK FOUR)

    Second: Wow, whoever’s working on the App seems to be a little touchy. Their professionalism went downhill fast.

    [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: We apologize for the inconvenience.]

    It’s a text message.

    My phone buzzes against my hip somewhere, and I reach for it blindly, not wanting to move too much. Whatever energy my body had has been sucked out by Caine.

    Huh.

    Wait–did prayers always go into the abyss? Which prayers reach the gods? Is there some sort of required faith level for it to make it into whatever queue they’re talking about, or are only people with ess able to reach the ears of the divine?

    My body’s running low on arcana, but thanks to Lyre’s little bit of teaching, it’s a lot easier to replenish than before. Like now, without thinking, I’ve been pulling arcana in -the magical equivalent of fast–charging versus slow.

    No.

    A quick tap of the screen brings harsh blue light, and I desperately tap down the brightness until it’s not eyeball–searing, ncing hesitantly at the girls to my side.

    I open the message, heart pounding with relief; it’s been radio silence over there, and I’ve been worried.

    [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: We are aware the system is down. Abusing the report feature will incur penalties.]

    Kind of obvious, considering.

    Bun shifts in her sleep and I hastily turn off the screen, not wanting to wake her.

    [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: All ounts abusing the report feature have been banned for thirty–six hours.]

    My entire body’snguid, worn out from Caine’s touch and the emotional overload of the moment. My face? On fire. And my heart…

    Stupid. Couldn’t just grit my teeth and bear it for a few more minutes? Overreact from

    17:05

    220 Grace Notifications (END BOOK FOUR)

    a little pain and the man won’t even pop my cherry properly.

    How soon can we do this again?

    Since I can’t distract my overeager mind, I push a finger hard against one of the hickeys. There are several, all over my neck and some over my corbone, each one bringing memories of pleasure and arousal when I think of his mouth against my skin.

    But, how exactly do I bring up the subject? Because I’m pretty sure saying “Have sex with me” is not how it’s supposed to happen.

    Rolling carefully to my side to block the light, I squint at my disy, wishing it wouldn’t destroy my retinas even on the lowest brightness setting,

    Burying my face into my pillow with a silent scream eases the frustration in my soul a little bit, though every time I move myherdy bits twinge. Which is totally a sign I’m not a virgin, I think, and some tiny, prudish part of my soul is absolutely horrified. Which begs the question: Who, exactly, iis /imaintaining this App? I wonder if I’ll ever find out.

    Ugh.

    But it’s not.

    [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: Prayer queue has been suspended until further notice.] [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: In case of emergency, please queue through prayer.] In the darkness, I’m barely able to make out the details of the ceiling, the ckout blinds in the RV work great, only allowing a sliver of light in through the sides. Great for sleep, sucks when you’re used to staring nkly at random details to focus your squirrel brain.

    Argh.

    No wonder I’m thinking about nonsensical bullshit about my past.

    For years, I thought I wouldn’t have sex until I was married. Even when Rafe would asionally try to go beyond kissing, I’d push him away. For whatever reason, my skin would crawl a little whenever he’d stick a hand up my shirt, and I was never fond of him kissing anywhere except my lips. Even our first kiss had taken forever, and… was admittedly a little underwhelming after all the excitement and build–up.

    17:05

    228 Grace Notifications (END BOOK FOUR)

    That creep wasn’t watching us, was he?

    My phone vibrates again, and I peek at the disy with the assumption it’s another crazy App notice.

    Another notification.

    Everything. Was. Perfect.

    I sit up so fast I nearly drop the phone, then freeze, checking to make sure I haven’t woken the girls. Thankfully, they don’t stir.

    …is a little frustrated.

    It feels like there’s a story behind this, and I’m desperate to know how one suspends prayer. If I pray now, is someone going to just… block my thoughts?

    I stiffen.

    Popping my face out of my pillow, I roll onto my back, rubbing the tips of my fingers gently over the purplish marks Caine left against my neck with a faint smile. Funny; Caine can smash through my boundaries without a single apology and I melt in his arms, somewhat literally. And yet Rafe would push time and time again, only for me to deny him, ending up in yet another round of apologies and assurances where I somehow felt as though I’d wronged him even as he told me he respected how I felt.

    The words on the screen make me blink, certain I’ve misread:

    Of course, Rafe had never med me, insisting he respected my boundaries. And yet…

    Sure, losing my virginity in a truck in the middle of the night was not exactly how I thought it would go, but the heat level was definitely there, and my body was ready, and most importantly, I didn’t ipass /iout.

    [DIVINITY SYSTEM NOTICE: CHAOS, STOP.]

    Even after a bird bath in the bathroom–a shower would be too much noise, and I don’t want to wake the children–and about ten solid minutes of me pacing in circles trying to figure out if I’m a virgin or not, along with some regret over not looking down to see exactly how much the tip” means, I finally flop back into my tiny third of the bed, grateful for once Bun has rolled all the way over to the other side, curled up in her

    sister’s warmth.

    17:05

    228 Grace: Notifications (END BOOK FOUR)

    So many questions. Too bad there isn’t a iDivinities /ifor Dummies book. I’d devour it in a

    heartbeat.

    Not like it’s his fault. I’m not ming him. The me’s not only mine, but gift–wrapped with a whole ass bow on top.

    And then to ignore my boundariespletely once his fated mate appeared and he

    threw me away.

    66

    iSorry/i, idies/ii. /iThose iof /iyou on discord (and iif /iyou saw imy /iFB post) have been following the ibaby /iisaga/ii, /ibut ibasically /iishe /igot sick again, only days iafter /igetting i“/ibetteri“/ii. /iWe were idiagnosed /iwith yet another back–to–back iviral /iiillness /iiplus /ia rather nasty rash all over her body (possibly from the…

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    Lenaleia

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