It must be cold.?

    ?

    It would be cold.?

    ?

    I knew it all too well because I’ve been through it.?

    ?

    After looking at the black river for a long time, I took a step back.?

    ?

    I slowly took off my shoes and the rain-soaked ground touched my feet.?

    ?

    I also put very small baby shoes next to mine.?

    ?

    Raindrops kept falling on my face.?

    ?

    “…”?

    ?

    I looked down at the two pairs of shoes and the black river that ran beneath them.?

    ?

    That river was cold and dark. To think that the dead would be at peace was only a way for me to justify my pain. Because that river would remain dark indefinitely.?

    ?

    “Dad, Mom, Seo-yeon hyung.”?

    ?

    My voice was so awkward when I called them. It was unfamiliar because it had been so long since I spoke out the words father, mother, and brother’s name.?

    ?

    Now just… I tried to imagine that they would be at ease. I would imagine that they wished for my future to be pleasant and happy.?

    ?

    It took me too long to make this decision.?

    ?

    I took one step forward. I straightened my back and held two pairs of shoes in my hands.?

    ?

    …Goodbye.?

    ?

    First, I dropped my shoes into the cold river. There was no sound because of the rain.?

    ?

    Then, when it was the turn of the baby shoes that were as small as the palm of my hand, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.?

    ?

    All I could do was say goodbye to Kongkongi, who came to me unprepared and left after suffering.?

    ?

    Goodbye.?

    ?

    Small shoes also fell silently and disappeared into the black river.?

    ?

    I put my hand on the railing and looked down for a long time.?

    ?

    Wavy black water… The black river that always came suddenly and bothered me.?

    ?

    It was ridiculously far from here.?

    ?

    And…sometimes it was as close as it was right in front of me.?

    ?

    It was then.?

    ?

    Squeak!?

    ?

    I heard the sound of a car slipping. It was the sound of an engine that was full of urgency.?

    ?

    I turned to the side where the sound came from to see if there had been an accident in the rain. A black car was sliding and speeding.?

    ?

    My heart sank coldly the moment I realized it was similar to Choi Sung-hoon’s car. ?

    ?

    My eyes followed the car with anxiety. The car slid and collided with a guard rail 200 to 300 meters ahead. It was loud enough to sound like an explosion to my ears.?

    ?

    I hurriedly ran barefoot.?

    ?

    The car was the same model as Choi Sung-hoon’s.?

    ?

    The person in Yangju would not be passing through here at this time, but the person in that car must be someone’s family.?

    ?

    As I ran in the rain, my face became increasingly distorted.?

    ?

    It was a familiar license plate.?

    ?

    No… Please no.?

    ?

    My heart was on the verge of stopping.?

    ?

    When I approached, the front part was completely distorted, and smoke rose from the damaged part.?

    ?

    “Please…”?

    ?

    It was darkly tinted and the inside was invisible. While knocking on the driver’s window by calling Choi Sung-hoon’s name, I pulled the handle just in case, and the door opened. Choi Sung-hoon was groaning between the exploding airbag and the seat.?

    ?

    “Hey, get a hold of yourself. Wake up!”?

    ?

    I patted him on the shoulder. I wanted to get him out of the car, but I couldn’t move him carelessly because I was afraid he was injured somewhere.?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon couldn’t come to his senses.?

    ?

    I didn’t bring my phone, so I reached into Choi Sung-hoon’s pocket and took out his cell phone. I urgently called for help, and Choi Sung-hoon awoke with a groan. Choi Sung-hoon tightened his grip on my wrist as soon as I met his black eyes met.?

    ?

    “Seo-yu.”?

    ?

    “Choi, Choi Sung-hoon ssi.  Are you all right? Are you awake?”?

    ?

    “…You.”?

    ?

    “Are you crazy… How can you drive so fast on a rainy day? You almost died. I thought you were going to die!”?

    ?

    “…”?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon escaped between the airbag and the seat on his own, and he kept holding my wrist. He hugged me as soon as he got out of the car.?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon must have been surprised a lot. But he wouldn’t have been as surprised as I was.?

    ?

    The guardrail had crumpled completely. Without the guardrail, the car could have fallen right over into a cold black river.?

    ?

    I rested my head on Choi Sung-hoon’s shoulder and hugged him tightly.?

    ?

    Even I couldn’t tell if the stream of water running down my cheeks was rain or tears.?

    ?

    I took a deep breath to calm myself down.?

    ?

    When I got out of his arms, Choi Sung-hoon looked at me with anxious eyes. He didn’t let go of my wrist. I couldn’t tell him to let go because he was holding me like a lost child.?

    ?

    “You have to look around to see if there’s anything strange or hurtful. You crashed so hard…”?

    ?

    “I think I hurt my ankle.”?

    ?

    “Stay still. An ambulance will be here soon.”?

    ?

    I looked around his body. There was no external bleeding. I felt Choi Sung-hoon’s gaze was chasing mine. When our gazes locked, I noticed that the emotions swirling in his eyes were not those of anxiety, but of anger.?

    ?

    Why… Why were you angry??

    ?

    I should be the one who was angry right now.?

    ?

    “What’s the reason?”?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon, who was staring at me silently, spit out anger in the form of a series of questions.?

    ?

    “Why?”?

    ?

    “What was lacking? Speak so I can fix it.”?

    ?

    “What are you talking about? Explain it so that I can understand!”?

    ?

    “…You said you were going to say goodbye.”?

    ?

    “That’s why I came here to say my final goodbye. What’s wrong with you? Why are you driving so erratically in the rain? Did you go insane and want to die?”?

    ?

    My heart screamed as it beat violently after yet another accident on the bridge. I also wanted to scream out loud. But I was barely holding back my anger and frustration for someone who would have been more embarrassed than I was.?

    ?

    “That’s why you’ve come here.”?

    ?

    Cold rainwater ran down Choi Sung-hoon’s hard forehead. I stood there watching the stream of water run over his scarred cheek.?

    ?

    “By the time I safely stopped the car and ran down, you’d already jump off and be gone. You would not have come if I hadn’t done this.”?

    ?

    “…”?

    ?

    It took me a while to understand what he was saying.?

    ?

    I lost my strength in despair. Choi Sung-hoon said he had a coat in his car and went to get it and told me to sit on it as I sank down on the floor. Nonetheless, he did not let go of my wrist. The wrist in his hand complained of pain.?

    ?

    “What kind of misunderstanding did you have…”?

    ?

    I lowered my head. Choi Sung-hoon breathed violently, “Is it a misunderstanding?”?

    ?

    An ambulance siren could be heard from a distance at that time. Choi Sung-hoon and I remained silent until the rescuers arrived.?

    ?

    * * *?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon requested to see Professor Chae, the doctor, so the ambulance diverted from the hospital he was supposed to visit.?

    ?

    I couldn’t trust a traffic accident patient to go to an obstetrician working at an Omega center, but Choi Sung-hoon insisted on Professor Chae, so I couldn’t say no.?

    ?

    After midnight, the doctor rushed to see Choi Sung-hoon and stated that no injuries had occurred. I didn’t like it because it seemed hastily diagnosed because there was no blood on the outside and everything was fine.?

    ?

    I looked at the doctor, who told me that I should stay in the hospital room for a while because I was fine.?

    ?

    “Excuse me, please take a look properly. It was an accident that completely destroyed the front of the car.”?

    ?

    “Really? You’re so strong…”?

    ?

    “You hurt your ankle, right Choi Sung-hoon ssi?”?

    ?

    “Ankle…?”?

    ?

    “Yes, his ankle-.”?

    ?

    “I was hurt.”?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon strongly continued my words.?

    ?

    “I hurt my right ankle. It’s hard to move around.”?

    ?

    “Ah… Yes… Ankle, yes… Looking back, it looks like it’s swollen…”?

    ?

    It was said to be throbbing and difficult to move, but the quack doctor’s reaction remained dull. I really don’t like this person. After a cursory examination, he suspected a fracture and ordered an X-ray before diagnosing it with a half cast.?

    ?

    Choi Sung-hoon told me to look check myself before taking an X-ray.  I refused because I was not injured and was fine, but Choi Sung-hoon asked me to roll up my sleeve.?

    ?

    “Oh, my. Did you bump into something big? There’s a big bruise.”?

    ?

    My wrist was swollen with a dark bruise. It was because Choi Sung-hoon held it too tightly. There was a huge handprint, but the doctor pretended not to know.?

    ?

    While Choi Sung-hoon was wearing a cast after an X-ray examination, I showered briefly and entered the hospital room first. Then I lay down on the bed, waiting for Choi Sung-hoon.?

    ?

    I could see what misunderstanding he had.?

    ?

    It was expected that he would drive so fast in shock.?

    ?

    I placed a hand on my chest.?

    ?

    My heart, which was still pounding furiously, accurately expressed my emotions. If Choi Sung-hoon had a serious accident… I wouldn’t have been able to bear it any longer.?

    ?

    I was relieved that it ended with only his ankle injury. I was glad.?

    ?

    Aside from his misunderstanding, I should scold him. So he never ever did that again… Really… Never did that again.