CHAPTER 64: QUIET CONFESSIONS...

Charis

He nodded and stood up, making his way to the food counter.

While he was gone, I sat in the relative quiet of the cafeteria, watching other students laugh and chat over their meals. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to be one of them.

To be carefree, without the burden of my secrets and lies, able to simply enjoy lunch with a friend without feeling like a fraud. I wonder what Kael would do when he realises I was a girl after all?

When he came back, he placed a tray between us: two pastries, a sandwich cut in half and a bowl of spiced soup.

"All this for me?" I asked, staring at he large spread of food before me.

I could hear my father’s voice ringing in annoyance. "Do you want to be fat like your mother? Eat only the veggies, drink a glass of water and go to bed."

"You want more?" He asked, staring at me.

"No...thank you," I murmured, already reaching for the sandwich. "This looks amazing.

"Seems you don’t eat so much," Kael observed. "You’re too thin for a boy."

"Wh-What?" I laughed loudly, hoping to cover my femininity. "I’m not that thin."

"You are," he insisted, returning to his book. "How would you ever survive the fighting classes? You need to eat and exercise to build muscle. I’ll teach you if you want."

He said the last bit quietly, so that I had to strain my ears to hear it.

"And if Vale calls for you again, don’t just march to her office alone. You’re a student now, you can ask for a few minutes and text either me, Rhett or Slater."

My insides warmed. "I can handle it," I said with a smile.

"You don’t have to handle everything with Vale by yourself, Eamon," he continued quietly, raising his gaze to meet mine briefly. "I know you entered some sort of agreement with her because our signatures would have never been enough to keep you here."

I dropped the food in my hand, already turning white with fear. "H-how did you...?"

He shook his head, sighing deeply. "Seeing your reaction, then it’s true. I’m also guessing your brother, Slater, doesn’t know about it?"

"H-How did you know?" I stammered, trying to fish for more information.

"Your facial expression and body language give away everything, Eamon," he sighed. "And you cannot be like this in this school. If everyone can read you like a book, you’ll get constantly picked on and that bothers me so much than I want to admit. I’m constantly..." he trailed off.

Then added softly. "What will I do with you?"

I swallowed hard. "I’m not used to having anyone to lean on. You, Rhett, and Slater have been my first attempt at forming a friendship. So, I constantly feel guilty that I bother you all the time."

He looked up at me then, something unreadable in his expression. "I’m not your friend, Eamon. I don’t see you as a friend either. I’m not friends with Rhett and your brother, too..."

My expression failed. "But..."

"I am attracted to you, and I can’t explain it. I feel responsible for your safety in a way. Your brother might protect, but not always. Rhett..." he shook his head. "Headmistress Vale is a dangerous woman, and you shouldn’t be making deals with her in the first place."

My heart sank, and I reached for his cup of coffee, taking a big gulp.

"Tell me the truth, did she only confront you about coming to stay with you?"

I opened my mouth several times, but no words would come out. If I told Kael everything, then I would need to reveal my truth to him, and I wasn’t ready for that.

What if he hates me? The thought of not having Kael, Rhett and Slater on my side scared me more than being exposed.

So, no... the truth would have to wait for a few more months.

"Yes," I attempted a smile. "That was all she said to me."

He scoffed, leaned back and shook his head. "That was a lie. But don’t tell me the truth either, you can tell me when you trust me enough. Finish your food."

I hung my head and continued eating, feeling so ashamed of myself.

I continued eating in silence, wondering what would become of us now that he knew I was a liar.

I sneaked a glance at him again, noting he seemed lost in his thoughts, staring at the book in front of him. I also noticed he hadn’t flipped a single page since he started reading, which struck me as odd for someone who appeared to be studying so intently.

The only sign he was still conscious of the world around him was his fingers, which he was drumming lightly on the table.

I continued nibbling on my stack, stealing glances at him every few seconds, wishing I could know what was going on in his mind.

After several minutes, he suddenly looked up and turned the book toward me. "Can you pronounce this word for me?" he asked quietly, pointing to a specific term on the page.

I nodded and leaned closer to see what he was indicating. The word was ’crystallography’.

"Crystallography," I pronounced clearly, breaking it down into syllables. "Crys-tal-log-ra-phy."

He nodded, pronouncing the word softly and then writing it down in a small notebook beside him. Then he looked up and asked. "What does it mean?"

"It’s the study of crystal structures. Like how atoms are arranged in crystalline solids," I explained. "It’s used in chemistry and materials science to understand the properties of different substances."

He nodded again, absorbing the information with that intense focus I was beginning to recognise was a part of him. Then he passed the book to me completely.

"Could you write the meaning in here, too? And also write how to pronounce all the difficult words I highlighted in red?" he asked.

Even though he sounded so casual, there was an underlying vulnerability that made my heart ache for reasons I couldn’t quite identify.

Without question, I took his pen and started carefully writing the definitions of the words I could remember and pronunciation guides in the margins of his textbook. There was something about his request that felt important, though I couldn’t put my finger on why.

The way he watched me write, the careful attention he paid to each word I explained, then still made small notes in his book, felt off, but I didn’t say anything.

"Here," I said when I finished pushing the book back to him.

"Thank you," he murmured and closed the book with care.

Only then did he reach for his snack. We ate the rest of our meal in comfortable silence.