CHAPTER 283: CHAPTER 283 - REQUIEM OF FLOWERS, PORTRAIT OF STARS

Vrika padded contentedly around my mindscape as I began to carefully replicate everything in sight, even being excessively careful not to wag its tail into objects or plants as I included the actual greenhouse as a prop.

That’s a weird thing to be considerate about. None of it is real, here. You could eat all of them and I’d just have to mentally flex it back into how it was.

Back in my kingdom when trying to master the way to arrange a mindscape, I’d climbed to the highest tower of the palace to take mental imagery of the seat of Fox Kingdom authority. Much to my guards’ dismay, considering I was still a little... unstable.

It was part of the period that I would disappear for weeks into the forest caves. However, then like now... there was something about seeing everything laid out below that settled my spirit. High places are nice.

"Different sort of urban sprawl, different sort of foliage and topology. But it gives me that same feeling of perspective. And..."

Choosing not to say out loud what my wolf can already tell I feel - that momentary ’oneness’ with the area, as if I belong to it and it belongs to me - I grew so lost in adjusting the replica vista that I almost didn’t hear the glass door from the roof entrance open. But my wolf did.

"I thought you might have left, but I was shown pity and told where you were. Before..."

"Before you could get depressed or go chasing my scent around the city. Yes, I think I can figure out what would have happened."

Kyrie stood by a pot of what I believe to be toad lilies, with their purple spotted petals. Her white business suit had been discarded in favor of one of her simple dark hoodies and... sweatpants. After being gone this long, her hair was actually dry, but smelling clean as if it had been blown with hot air..

You shut up, I can lift my nose and smell if I want. It’s a garden!

Her expression was difficult to read before she began to approach slowly. Pretending to be giving more attention to the different plants, but really giving me time to retreat or tell her to stop where she was... if I wished.

And I did not. Which isn’t to say I wouldn’t try to fight back if she started to shift and mark me, but just sidling closer? I’ve painted lines so broadly for so long that I’m not sure what sorts of contact will allow me to ease her need for it without building even more emotions.

I can allow that much. Even though... it might be wise not to. Because this whole environment is infuriatingly romantic!

It begins to occur to me, only now, that such a place is exactly what I just let into my soul. As much as I can swear that I was only appreciating it in a broader sense... why did I even think for a moment that copying a place so potentially personal was...

Well, no, I didn’t think that *exactly*. I merely started the process despite it being a possibility. It’s not like anyone told me this was her space! Claire said nothing I’ve just... just educated guessed it!

Kyrie had came to stand beside me, very close but not touching. Always so careful with my boundaries since that first day we met, when I snapped at her about her extra in-my-space approach to an introduction.

"I had this built five years ago. After my mother passed away. The board thought it was an extravagance. My Beta worried about security risks of another access point. But I needed somewhere that was just... mine."

I understood that need. Viscerally. Even as a princess, I’d ’fought’ for spaces that were mine alone. The fact that they were nice caves or merchant daughter’s beds does feel less... substantive than her choice, though.

You’re right. She’s stronger than me and girlier than me in a lot of ways, yes. But my chest is bigger! Don’t... don’t gekker at me... please stop using that fox behavior against me... you’re a bad friend.

Looking up above while holding back vain tears thanks to Vrika’s teasing. I let out a sigh while deciding I can pretend they are from homesickness. Because that feeling of momentary belonging to this place *did* shake some of that loose.

"The stars are different here, you know."

Even all the way at the top of this tower, the light pollution was terrible. Most were obscured by the city lights, but a few of the brighter ones still pierced through the clear sky.

"In my world, we had constellations like here. Much like the ones born from your mythologies, they told stories. Usually of the great beasts... so they were a little fragmented among shifter cultures."

"Tell me more about them. The ones you would recognize in your sky."

Her response was so simply spoken and really the words themselves were not anything special. Polite indulgence at best. But I felt a tug on the hem of my sleeve.

Her thumb and index boldly grabbed for me, it seems. When I’m through processing that and look back up at her embarrassed, stubborn defiance that won’t meet my eyes... as if should she not *see* disapproval then it doesn’t exist until voiced?

Nineteen hells, she’s testing me back after I pressed that seductively. Forcing me to refuse her, just like I forced her to choose to refuse me in her office...

My wolf sees no problem with any of it, but I really need to get out of here tonight without allowing anything that I’ll regret. Letting the precedent of her acting in a way that I find adorable permit whatever she may do... should not be set!

"The Transient Fox, the Serpent of Endings, and the Three White Ravens were the ones I looked for most often."

Looking away again, screaming at myself for not shaking her hand away, I pointed to where the constellations would be if this were my sky at this time of year. Explaining how the Lunar Goddesses nagged their deity husbands to place monumental stars after the first Alpha shifters breathed their last.

"I’m told that they didn’t get around to it quickly enough, which led to the pantheon demanding ever more visually stunning representations in the sky. And one of the gods came up with the idea of nudging the stellar objects toward measured distances so that they painted the images without cluttering the cosmos."

I found myself chuckling again. While the legend was a bit amusing to me at the time, it’s all the more ridiculous when I’m telling it to someone who has never actually met or conversed with their deities.

"And then that took so long to iron out with every other pantheon in existence that some of the creatures still lack finished sky art to this day. Proving that even deities deal in stalled renovation deals."

She laughed at how I chose to end my story time. And then she let go of my clothing. Forcing me to have to keep my face still... and not analyze why I’m displeased by that outcome.

It’s good that she didn’t try to elevate it to holding my hand fully. Yes. Very good.

Ignoring the whimpers of my wolf as every plant except the toad lilies spontaneously combusted into ash in my soul, I cross my arms under my chest and try not to look as petulant as this feeling clawing at me claims I must.