CHAPTER 97: CAN I HUG YOU?

It had been a few hours since Noah had woken.

He sat upright in his infirmary bed, a tray of food balanced across his lap.

The soup was bland, and the bread too dry, but he ate, tearing each bite as if it didn’t matter whether he tasted it or not. His eyes were blank, his motions mechanical.

Right now, all he was thinking about was what had happened when he’d first woken up. Who had given him the glass of water? Was it his shadows? But they couldn’t interact with the real world. Had it been someone else?

Something told him that he already knew the answer to the question, but it kept nagging him. Especially with his mental state.

Sometimes, he was clearheaded. Other times, he had the nastiest headache one could ask for, which always disappeared without a trace, some within seconds, and others stayed for minutes.

Memories kept disappearing and appearing within his head. Sometimes, he would forget ever coming to this world, and fly into a panic. Other times, he would remember every moment of his life in vivid detail.

Fortunately for him, it was all calming down. The headaches were no longer appearing, and his memories were stabilizing. Some were still not chronological, but that didn’t matter. All the necessary details were in his head.

All the while, his shadows whispered.

Some hissed eagerly, their voices hungry for blood. "Let loose, Noah. Tear it apart. Burn it all down."

Others muttered with cold patience. "Not yet. Wait. Play it cool. Hide the fire. Hide the hate."

Their whispers overlapped, layering in a constant undercurrent that filled the silence of the infirmary. Noah didn’t answer them. He just kept eating, chewing slowly, swallowing, lifting the next spoonful.

Then, without warning, the shadows hushed.

Every one of them.

The silence was sudden and filled the room completely, enough to make Noah pause mid-motion.

Then one of them, a gaunt figure crouched against the ceiling, hissed with a voice like tearing paper. "Someone comes."

The door creaked open.

Professor Cecilia stepped in.

The moment she entered his sight, Noah felt it.

Hatred.

Burning, scalding hatred surged within him, but it was no longer his alone. It was shared, dispersed among his shadows. They raged violently, clawing and tearing at her with intangible hands, their shrieks echoing soundlessly in his head.

Cecilia didn’t feel a thing. Their claws passed through her harmlessly.

But the temperature in the room dipped, just a fraction. Barely noticeable, but real.

Noah stared at her, expression flat, eyes void of warmth.

Cecilia’s steps were slow and careful, as if she were approaching a wounded animal that might bolt, or bite, at any moment. Her lips trembled, but she steadied them into a small, careful smile.

"Do you... remember me?" She asked softly.

Noah did. How could he forget? The person who had let them take him away.

The shadows around him hissed in fury, but he gave the smallest of nods.

Cecilia exhaled, her shoulders slumping as if she’d been carrying a weight for far too long. Relief, raw and fragile, crossed her face. For a moment she almost collapsed into the chair at his side.

She gathered herself, then whispered, "Can I... give you a hug?"

"No."

The answer was flat. Without hesitation.

Cecilia froze, then nodded quickly, hiding the sting behind her misting eyes. She sat down on the edge of his bed instead, hands folded in her lap. For a moment she just looked at him, as though afraid that if she blinked, he would vanish again.

Her eyes shimmered as she spoke, her voice breaking. "Juniper... she’s dead, Noah. They turned her into a human-demon hybrid. And... and she didn’t make it."

Noah didn’t react.

He didn’t flinch, didn’t blink, didn’t move. His blank stare stayed locked on her, and for a moment Cecilia thought he hadn’t heard her at all.

She continued, words tumbling out as if to fill the void. "I... I fought for you. Three months. Do you know how long you’ve been gone? Three months in that place. But I finally got you out of those cells."

Still, Noah just looked at her. His eyes were dark pools, unreadable, but his shadows writhed and howled.

They screamed for blood.

"Kill her."

"She let them take you."

"She’s Camelot’s dog! Tear her throat out."

Cecilia’s heart skipped. His stare was unblinking, unnatural, and though she fought to keep her composure, a ripple of unease passed through her.

She tried to anchor herself, voice trembling just slightly. "Are you okay?"

The shadows’ cacophony surged, drowning out her words. Noah could barely hear her over the chorus of rage gnawing at his mind.

She leaned closer, her hand brushing the edge of the bed. "Noah. Are you okay?"

This time her voice pierced through.

Noah blinked.

The voices cut off.

The shadows vanished like smoke in the wind, leaving the infirmary empty and silent once more.

A smile curled across Noah’s lips. A hollow smile. "I’m okay."

Cecilia’s chest rose with a shaky breath, her shoulders easing just a little. She nodded, though her eyes still glistened.

"Good. That’s... good."

"I... have to go." She stood, smoothing down her robes, and forced her voice steady again. "I’ll visit you again later, Noah. I have a class to teach."

Noah just watched her.

Cecilia lingered a heartbeat longer, as if wanting to say something else. But in the end, she only turned and walked toward the door. She opened it, glanced back once more, and then left.

The door closed.

Silence fell.

Noah sat perfectly still, staring at the space where she had been. Slowly, one by one, the shadows began to return, seeping out of the walls and floor, filling the room with their whispers once more.

"Why didn’t you kill her? She was right there!"

"She deserves it. We can’t let her go like that."

"Patience. Soon. Soon."

Noah’s smile was faint as he picked up his spoon again and resumed eating.