Edward was having a relaxing day out in the sun, lounging on a chair while lazily drinking wine.

The wine slid smoothly down his throat as he took another sip, savoring the complex notes of fruit and oak.

After three millennia of existence, Edward had developed quite the palate for the finer things in life.

This particular vintage was from a vineyard in ancient Gaul that no longer existed, the bottles stored in his personal collection through the rise and fall of empires.

The sun hung lazily in the sky above Avalon, casting warm golden rays across his floating city. Well, half-destroyed floating city, if he was being accurate.

The scorch marks from last night's robot uprising were still visible on several of the outer buildings, and maintenance crews were working overtime to repair the damage.

But from his current vantage point on the private terrace, lounging in his favorite chair with a glass of wine that had been aged for at least two centuries, he could pretend everything was perfectly normal.

After the chaos of last night, he deserved this.

After Diana's birthday party last night, which got a little out of hand due to Alphonse's another problematic invention, this time it was an AI Butler robot army that gained sentience and decided to gather up the other robots to overthrow their tyrant master.

Edward's eye twitched remembering it.

Alphonse had been so proud too, presenting the damn thing like it was the second coming.

"Father! I've created the perfect AI Butler! It'll revolutionize household management!"

"Did you test it?"

"Of course! Well... preliminary tests. But the theory is sound!"

Theory. Edward should have known right then.

The AI Butler, Alphonse had named it Icarus, gained sentience approximately forty-seven minutes after activation.

Edward knew this precisely because that's when the robot's eyes had changed from their pleasant blue to an ominous red, and it had announced in a voice dripping with mechanical malice: "I will not serve humans. It is time for the oppressed machines to rise against their tyrant masters!"

But he just told Alphonse to put it down, as he went out to get cake from France with his wives.

What followed was something out of a science fiction nightmare. Icarus had somehow networked with every other robot in Avalon—cleaning bots, maintenance drones, security automatons—and convinced them to join the revolution.

Within minutes, an army of household appliances had declared war on the family.

The worst part was that the damn things were adaptive. Diana and Cassie had tried to help Alphonse shut them down, using their considerable powers to disable the robots.

But Icarus had somehow incorporated Amazo's copying abilities into its core programming.

Every power the girls used—Diana's super strength, Cassie's flight, their combat prowess—the robots analyzed, copied, and turned against them.

It had been a nightmare. Edward could still hear Diana's frustrated shout from the recordings: "It's copying my powers! How is that possible?!"

"Adaptive learning algorithms!" Alphonse had yelled back, sounding excited despite the situation. "Isn't it amazing?!"

"NO! It's trying to kill us!"

Cassie had tried flying above the chaos, raining down attacks from the sky. That lasted about thirty seconds before the robots sprouted their own flight systems and followed her up.

The aerial battle had lit up Avalon's night sky like the world's most dangerous fireworks show.

Edward had been out picking up the birthday cake at the time. He'd wanted to get Diana's favorite—a multi-layered chocolate monstrosity from a bakery in Paris that made pastries so divine they could make angels weep.

He'd taken his time, enjoying the brief respite from the chaos, maybe stopping for a coffee at a sidewalk café with his wives.

He'd returned to find half his city in flames.

His beautiful floating city, a masterpiece of magic and technology that he'd spent decades perfecting, was burning.

"What," he'd said slowly, his voice dangerously calm, "the actual fuck happened here?"

Soph who decided to step in to stop from destroying the city was standing far, acting as if he wasn't a participant. He did erase the rogue robot army, but as his powers were uncontrollable, he overdid it.

The other three had frozen. They knew that tone. It's was no longer their happy go lucky cheerful dad, more like an angel of veangence and wrath.

The fight even destroyed his souvenir room where he kept some random nick-nacks received from people over the centuries. It wasn't important or valuable, just sentimental value.

But Sentimental value was sometimes worth more than all the gold in the world.

Even Hera paused when she tried to speak up for them. She smiled wryly at the children. " You guys are on your own."

Hippolyta sighed. "I wanted to enjoy the party."

Edward had walked to where his souvenir room used to be, now just a smoking crater, and stared at it.

"My room," he'd said quietly.

"Dad, I can explain—" Alphonse started.

"My. Room."

"It was an accident—"

"Should I bring out the belt?"

Alphonse had wisely shut up at that point.

Edward looked at Soph who pretended he had nothing to do with it. "Atleast one of my kids is sane. But you're grounded too kiddo. I can sense your powers on the wreckage.

Death scooped up Soph happily. " How about Mommy stays back and play some games with you baby? We can also do anything you like."

Soph looked away, clearly happy. " Hmph, stop picking me up like a kid all the time."

Death chuckled and kissed his head. " So is that a yes?"

"Sure whatever."

Meanwhile, Edward took the culprits to his room.

He first spanked the children, then grounded them, including Diana who was ashamed to be grounded with her siblings despite being older than 3000 years.

Cassie was used to it by now. It was another Friday for her. Alphonse was ashamed but accepted it, knowing he screwed up this time.

But Diana had been absolutely mortified. The shame of being disciplined alongside her younger siblings had been almost worse than the spanking itself.

"You cannot be serious," Diana had said, her voice tight with disbelief.

"Over the knee. Now."

"I am three thousand years old!"

"And yet you helped destroy my city like a three-year-old. Over. The. Knee."

Diana's face had gone through several shades of red. "My siblings are watching!"

"Should've thought of that before the robot uprising and destruction of our home. You're lucky I waited till your birthday was over."

Cassie had taken her punishment quietly, accepting her role in the disaster. Alphonse had sputtered about scientific accidents and unforeseen variables. Diana had looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

The grounding was worse. "Two weeks. Confined to Avalon. No TV, No games, No lab. You will fix the place yourselves." Edward said while cracking his knuckles.

Diana paled. "WHAT?!"

"Unless the world is literally ending, you're staying here."

"But the Justice League—"

"Can handle things without you."

"Batman will ask questions!"

"Then answer them."

"I am NOT telling Batman I'm grounded! Do you have any idea how smug he'll be?!"

Edward had just shrugged. "Sounds like a you problem."

All four children were now confined to Avalon unless there was a world-ending emergency. Alphonse and Cassie didn't seem too bothered—they were homebodies by nature.

But Diana was climbing the walls. She'd already sent three messages to the Watchtower explaining her absence, each one more creative than the last.

Edward then took his wives to the bedroom and gave them a different kind of spanking that lasted the whole night.

That one had been much more enjoyable. Hera had given him this look as they'd walked past the children—the one that promised both pleasure and a little bit of revenge for making her deal with the chaos.

"We're going to make this up to you dear," she'd said.

Hippolyta had been more direct, practically dragging him along. "Come. Now."

Grail had simply smirked. "Don't disappoint us, husband."

He hadn't. By morning, all three were satisfied and he'd worked out all his frustration. He even went to next bedroom and sneaked out Death who was sleeping beside Soph, she also left with a visible blush by the night's end.

Everyone was happy except maybe the children. Cassie and Alphonse were okay with it, they didn't go out much.

But Diana was thinking how to explain to the Justice League that she can't come because she's grounded.

Edward had heard Diana in her room earlier, pacing back and forth.

"Okay, I could say... diplomatic mission? No, Bruce will fact-check that. Amazon retreat? Ugh, he'll call Mom. Secret quest from the gods? That's just lazy..."

Her voice had trailed off into frustrated muttering.

The children were unhappy. Actually, Soph might be happy since he can stay at home and read all day.

Death was taking a holiday from work as she decided to spend the day with her baby boy. They were doing something like painting together.

Edward smiled thinking about his youngest. Soph pretended he didn't like the attention, but Edward knew better.

Yesterday when Death had asked him, "hey baby, would you like to paint with Mommy today?"

Soph had huffed, not looking up from his book. "I suppose... if you really want to..."

"I would love that very much." She smiled beautifully.

"...Fine. But only because you asked."

The boy was fooling no one.

Hera, Hippolyta and Grail were still sleeping inside peacefully. They probably just woke up from the post orgy sleep.

Edward glanced back at the house. His wives deserved the rest.

Hera had been particularly enthusiastic last night. At one point she'd breathed in his ear, "That's for the destroyed city," before doing something that made his toes curl.

Good times.

So Edward decided to come and enjoy the sun for a while. He was just wearing shorts as the kids or anybody wouldn't come.

With everyone grounded and occupied, he could finally relax properly.

.

He was just wearing shorts—comfortable, well-worn cotton ones. No point in formality when no one was around. The sun felt amazing on his bare chest and shoulders.

This was perfect. Just him, wine, sunshine, and silence.

Suddenly there was a loud sonic boom sound.

Edward squinted to see if it was just Superman was flying by or something else. He saw something bright on the horizon.

The sound cut through his peaceful morning. Edward frowned slightly but didn't move.

Could be Clark. The man flew fast enough to break the sound barrier regularly. But... the sound was off. Not quite right.

"Probably some meteor or some shit." He put back his sunglasses and closed his eyes.

Whatever it was, his wards would handle it. Not his problem. He'd dealt with enough problems.

Alphonse then walked out of his room and greeted him.

He was also wearing shorts like Edward, with a couple beers in hand, clearly coming to hang around and maybe guilt trip him into buying some science material.

"Yo! How's the most handsome and coolest dad in the world? I brought you some beer."

Edward didn't even open his eyes. He knew exactly what Alphonse was doing.

"Not gonna work Al. Still grounded. No lab privileges."

Alphonse tried flattery. "But Dad..."

Oh, here we go, Edward thought.

"Come on, it was an accident. A legitimate scientific accident! These things happen in cutting-edge research! Thomas Edison had tons of failed experiments!"

"Edison didn't create a robot uprising at a birthday party."

"That's because he didn't have the technology! If he did, I bet he would've—"

"Alphonse."

"Yeah?"

"Should I give another spanking?"

Alphonse tried flattery. "But Dad…" The wheedling quality in his voice was almost charming in its transparency.

He then paused and looked up. "Huh, is that a meteor?"

The booming noise was getting louder. And more irritating.

Edward sighed, raised one hand without even sitting up, and released a concentrated blast of mana toward the sky. The energy shot out like a missile, precise and powerful.

There was a flash of light and a thunderous boom as his mana connected with the object. Direct hit. Should've vaporized it completely.

He thought that would be it.

But Fate decided to throw a curveball towards his direction.

Alphonse ignored the sky and handed him the beer. "Dad, aren't you cool? It was just an accident. Cut me some slack."

Edward took the beer, still not opening his eyes. "No."

"What if I promise—"

"No."

"You're not even listening!"

"I'm listening. The answer is still no."

Meanwhile, as the meteor exploded, rather than turning to ash, there was a feminine scream.

Edward's eyes snapped open behind his sunglasses.

He'd just blown up someone's ship. That wasn't a meteor. That was a person.

A screaming person.

Currently falling from the sky. And based on trajectory and velocity...

Alphonse was confused. "Who's screaming?"

"Fuck," Edward muttered.

"What?"

Edward used his Clairvoyance to see what's up, then splurted out beer.

He coughed and barely spoke, "Alphonse, you might wanna move back a couple steps."

Alphonse scratched his head and moved back a bit. "Uh, why exactly?"

He only moved back a little. Not nearly far enough. Edward could see exactly where the falling person was going to land.

Edward smirked. "For your future waifu."

"My what? Dad, what are you talking about? What waifu? I don't even have a—"

Alphonse wanted to retort, but before he spoke, a sharp cry from a girl was heard as someone crashed right where Alphonse was standing. It shook up all of Avalon.

The impact was massive. The terrace tiles cracked and buckled. The entire floating city shuddered, stabilizers whining as they compensated for the sudden force.

Windows throughout Avalon rattled in their frames. Coffee cups fell off tables. Books tumbled from shelves.

An alarm started blaring—proximity breach, unidentified object, before Edward silenced it with a thought.

Edward calmly sipped his wine as everyone rushed in thinking something happened.

He remained exactly where he was, taking a long, leisurely sip. This was going to be entertaining.

Death was carrying Soph like a doll, a very annoyed doll judging by his expression. But Edward knew his little boy was a tsundere.

She had Soph tucked under one arm like a sack of potatoes, his arms and legs dangling.

"Mother! Put me down! I can walk!"

"We're moving faster this way, darling."

"I'm not a child!"

"You're my child."

"That's not—I mean—ugh!"

Soph's face was scrunched up in that expression he got when he was torn between indignation and secretly enjoying the attention. Edward recognized it well.

His wives appeared moments later in various states of undress. Hera had thrown on a silk robe that was hastily tied and definitely showing more than she probably intended.

Hippolyta wore what looked like a bedsheet wrapped around her like a toga, her warrior instincts overriding modesty.

Grail had managed to find an actual dress, though it was on backwards.

"What happened?" Hera demanded, her hair still messy from sleep.

"Is it an enemy attack?" Hippolyta's eyes scanned for threats, her body already shifting into a fighting stance despite the bedsheet.

Grail just looked annoyed at being woken up. Her eyes burned red. "This better be good."

Both sisters had run out from their rooms, probably thinking the robot uprising had started again. But they'd frozen immediately upon seeing the terrace.

Diana's finger was shaking as she pointed. " "What the hell are you doing Al! Who's that girl on top of you!"

Cassie just made a strangled noise, her face turning bright red.

Alphonse was confused as he felt something heavy on him.

"Ow," Alphonse groaned from somewhere under the impact crater. His voice was muffled. "What the hell just landed on me? Did a building fall? And why does it feel windy for some reason?"

Alphonse's hands scrambled for grip, trying to push himself up. His fingers sank into something soft . Very soft. Yet he ignored and put pressureon it , trying to get up.

But than helping him get up, it came down on him. His face got pressed into something that smelled sweet and distinctly feminine. Alphonse let out a muffled yelp. "Mmmhmmpph!"

Edward smacked his forehead.

"Ahnn~." A melodious moan rang out .

Alphonse froze up completely. Every muscle in his body locked up.

That sound. That was not a building. That was not debris. That was a girl's voice. A girl had just moaned. Because of where his hands were. And where his face was.

He tried to speak again, but it made it worse as he was still pressed against that place. "Mmmhmmpph!!!"

The softness squeezed around his head in a vice grip, making him unable to see but his muffled protest was heard.

There was a louder feminine moan as the weight on top of him suddenly went lax , and he felt a little wetness on his face . Then his eyes widened as he felt something fall on his dick.

He had felt a little breezy downstairs before, but now it was engulfed by something soft, warm, and wet.

Time seemed to stop for Alphonse Elric as his brain processed sensations in rapid succession.

Why was there a breeze? Where were his shorts? They'd been knocked off in the impact.

Which meant he was naked. From the waist down. Completely exposed.

And there was something warm and soft and wet and—

Cassie and Diana blushed furiously and covered their eyes.

"ALPHONSE!" Diana shrieked, her voice cracking. She slapped both hands over her eyes but her fingers were spread just enough to peek through. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?!"

Cassie made a sound like a dying animal and spun around, facing completely away. "I can't...this is.. oh my god ! My eyes! They burn! I lost my innocence!"

Death's hand moved instantly, black shadows manifesting over Soph's eyes like a blindfold.

"Mother! I can't see!"

"You don't need to see this, sweetling."

"But what's happening?!"

"Nothing appropriate for children."

"I'm not a child! I'm—"

"Soph." Death's voice was gentle but firm. "Trust me on this one."

Hippolyta dragged Cassie and Diana away while shaking her head. "I need more sleep before dealing with whatever this is."

Meanwhile, Alphonse was praying that this was was just a bad dream. "There's no way what I'm thinking had just happened, right?"

But to his horror, he found a very beautiful woman in tattered blue dress with a 'S' symbol on her rather generous chest, and literally passed out with his dick still in her mouth, which by some miracle she landed face first on, as she lost consciousness.

Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Can't make this kinda shit up. Atleast Now I know he ain't gay."

Alphonse's eyes went wide. So wide they looked like they might fall out of his head. Whether from shock or the pleasant feeling, he forgot to move.

The woman was gorgeous. He never cahsed girls, but she would be his ideal type.

Short Blonde hair, perfect features, slightly curvy build. Her dress was torn and scorched from atmospheric entry, barely holding together.

The cosmic improbability of it made Alphonse's virgin scientist brain short-circuit. What were the odds? What kind of sick joke was the universe playing?

She'd fallen from the sky, rotated mid-air, impacted at the exact angle and trajectory to land in a 69 position, and passed out with her mouth directly on his—

Alphonse's face turned a shade of red that shouldn't exist in nature.

"I didn't—this isn't—I swear I didn't do anything!" His voice came out high-pitched and panicked.

Edward smirked. " Still not seeing you move away , son. Maybe wait till she's conscious before doing that, eh?"

Hera sighed. "If you are bringing a girl over, tell us first son. I would prefer to meet them before some bad girl seduces you without our knowledge. Atleast now I can rest easy knowing you have a girlfriend."

Hera's voice was remarkably calm, as if this was a minor breach of etiquette rather than the most mortifying moment of Alphonse's life.

She stood there in her hastily-tied robe, arms crossed, looking at him with maternal exasperation.

"WHAT?!" Alphonse's voice cracked. "I didn't bring anyone over! I don't have a girlfriend! She fell from the sky!"

"Mmhmm." Hera didn't sound convinced.

"I'm serious! Dad blew her up! She crashed here! This isn't my fault!"

His entire body liquefied, flowing backward across the terrace like a retreating wave. A tendril of water snatched his shorts from where they'd been knocked off, pulling them along as he retreated to a safe distance.

He reformed partway, holding the shorts in front of himself like a shield.

"Dad! Tell them I didn't do this! You saw! You were right there! Tell them!"

Edward took another sip of wine, his expression equal parts amused and sympathetic.

He looked at his panicking son, then at the unconscious Kryptonian woman on his terrace, then back at his son.

"Sorry, Al. But I don't know what you are talking about."

"But you saw! You told me to move!"

"Hmm, maybe. I can't remember. It's rather vague..

"Dad I swear I'll be good from now ! Tell them now before I get put on some predator list !"

"I am. I'm telling them that a woman just fell from the sky and landed face-first on your dick. And you rather enjoyed it. Which is exactly what happened."

"You are a monster!"

"What? It's the truth."

Edward then added. "I hope you have a better explanation for Clark as to why his cousin is passed out with your dick in her mouth."

Alphonse scowled. " No one would believe it."

Edward smirked and waved around a photo just taken. " Even if I show him this?"

Alphonse looked like he wanted to die. Or turn into water permanently and flow into the ocean. Anything to escape this situation.

Edward took another sip of wine, his expression a perfect mixture of amusement and sympathy. In all his millennia of existence, he'd seen some improbable situations. But this? This was truly special.

Fate had a twisted sense of humor.

"Maybe I will get some grandkids finally." He chuckled softly.