ALEX

I nce at her. She''s staring out the window again, her voice light like she''s

making a joke, but she''s not smiling. Which means she''s seriously thinking this through.

She just looks... tired. Fragile. Far away. I bet she doesn''t even realize what she''s said.

But I do.

My hands tighten around the wheel.

My throat dries out, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe.

She thinks I''m him.

She thinks I''m that fucker Zayan.

Just what has he been doing that has made her want to be with him. Even my stupid cousin doesn''te this close.

Is that why she allowed me to hug her?

I want to say something, correct her. But the words get lodged in my throat like ss shards.fn9771 ?????? ???? find?novel/fn9771

If I tell her the truth right now, if I remind her of who I am. Won''t that bring back everything she just went through... would I be helping her or hurting her more?

Thinking this whole thing through, I decide it''s best to stay silent as I continue to drive.

But as the silence stretches, the pain sharpens, like a de twisting slowly in my chest.

They say breaking bones is the worst kind of pain.

They''re wrong.

They''ve clearly never heard the woman they love whisper another man''s name in her most vulnerable moment.

Love.

Is this what it feels like?

A burning feeling which squeezes your heart so tight, it feels like you''ll never breathe right again.

I grit my teeth and keep my eyes on the road, like that''ll stop the storm inside me.

She shifts beside me, tugging the nket higher. I should say something. Anything. But all thates out is silence.

I wish I could hate Zayan right now. I wish I could me this on himpletely.

But a part of me knows he was there when I wasn''t. He stood by her when I pushed her away.

Still, that nameing from her lips...

It''s a fucking stab to my heart.

I''ve never been so fucking jealous of anyone like I am of him right now.

She leans her head back and whispers,

"Thank you foring to get me."

I nod once, afraid if I open my mouth, the truth wille spilling out, and I''ll ruin

everything she has left holding her together.

Because right now, she needsfort.

Not confusion.

Not pain.

Not me.

So I grip the wheel harder. And drive.

Because I''d do anything for her.

Including holding in the pain of her thinking I''m someone else.

I take a turn through a familiar street past the neon lights until I reach the little takeout ce she always ordered from.

I''m shocked I rembered it so easily.

It had always been her favorite ce. I remember how irritated I used to be when she asked me to pass through here after picking her up from school.

That''s the funny thing about regret.

I hated it then, but I''d do anything to have her ask me to bring her here again.

She swore they make the best dumplings and that stupidly spicy soup that makes her nose run but somehowforts her.

I leave her sleeping in the passenger seat, with the engine still running and the heat on low. She''s curled up under the nket, her lips slightly parted with hershes resting against her cheeks.

She looks so beautiful it hurts to not touch her.

While waiting for my order, I rush into the boutique next door and buy some warm clothes for me and her.

It''s a quick shop done in less than ten minutes.

I rush back to the car with the food still warm in its bag and the scent already

filling the car.

Her nose twitches slightly when I set it on the seat beside her.

But she doesn''t wake up.

I start the engine and drive to her apartment.

Soon we reach the underground packing lot.

She stirs as I carry the bag of food in one hand and unlock her door with the other.

I check her bag for the apartment key card and lift her in my arms.

Once we are in, I ce her gently on the couch before shaking her awake softly.

"Hey." I whisper, "You need to take a quick hot bath since you were in the rain for too long."

"What about you?" She asks.

"You want to bathe with me?" I ask her, keeping my voice leveled even though jealousy is burning inside my chest.

"No. Of course not." She says and I smile, releasing the breath I didn''t know I was holding.

Good girl.

"Let me get your water ready."

I head to the bathroom and run the taps, while adjusting the temperature just how she likes it, steamy but not too hot.

I even remember thevender stuff she keeps under the sink and pour a bit in.

The smell fills the air almost immediately.

As I do all this, I realize I know so much about her subconsciously.

It''s like my heart has always been hers.

My head is now just catching up.

When Ie out, she''s sitting cross-legged, hugging a pillow to her chest.

"The bath''s ready," I say.

She looks up at me, her cheeks heating

"Thanks...."

I nod, stepping back. But as she walks past, I almost say it,

"I''ve already bathed you before. No need to be shy."

The memory hits hard. But I keep it locked.

While she''s in the bath, I unpack the food and take a quick shower in her spare bathroom and change into a fresh set of clothes I bought while waiting for the takeout.

When shees out, she looks better. Not fine, but better. Her skin is flushed from the bath and her damp hair drips down her shoulders. She''s in her favorite hoodie, two sizes too big.

"Come seat here for a sec." I say to her.

"I''m hungry. Why am I seating there?" She groans and I hold back a chuckle.

She''s cute when she''s frustrated.

"It won''t take long. I just want to dry your hair. You were in the cold for too long. So

you can''t have damp hair."

She hesitates but still walks towards me.

I''ve always done this for Nonna. So it''s a piece of cake.

Five minutester, her hair is dry.

She walks to the kitchen counter and her eyes light up when she sees what''s

there.

"How did you know?"

"How can I not know?" I ask but immediately regret it.

Fuck!

I just gave that idiot points tonight didn''t I?

Once she''s done, she joins me on the couch and I pull a nket over us.

As much as I hate her not knowing it''s me, I''m d she''s doing better.

She shifts a little, thenys her head on myp, like it''s the most natural thing in

the world.

My breath hitches, but I don''t move.

This is fucking torture!

Her eyes are half-lidded as sleep tugs at her.

And just when I think she''s out, she mumbles,

"I love your new cologne even more. It smells so good..."

My fingers freeze in her hair.

It''s not new.

It''s the same scent I''ve worn since the day she met me.

She just doesn''t realize it''s me.

My chest aches, as I lean my head back against the couch, closing my eyes.

Is this what Karma feels like?