CHAPTER 84: ANOTHER QUEST FOR THIS TIRED ADVENTURE!

Finn just... stared.

At the pictures. At the shrine.

At the tiny hand-sewn Finn doll smiling back at him like a cursed collectible from a fever dream.

He had so many questions. Like—where did the Midwife even get this stuff?

How long had this been here?

How did they get these pictures? Was he being watched? Was this house built to trap souls?

He wanted answers. But also... desperately did not want answers.

Finn rubbed his eyes, praying it was a hallucination.

And when he looked again—

Gone.

All of it. Just normal shadows under the bed now. Nothing unusual.

"...Oh my god," he muttered. "I’m actually going insane."

"Is everything okay down there, darling~?" the Midwife called sweetly.

"Yeah..." Finn said like a hostage.

"Did you find it?"

"No."

"That’s no good~"

"You don’t say." He crawled back out from under the bed like a defeated soldier, eyes hollow, soul wrinkled.

The Incubus Midwife stood in the center of the room, one long finger tapping against its cheek, humming softly in thought.

"This is no good," it murmured. "Like really no good."

"How so?" Finn tilted his head, slowly rising to his feet like a broken action figure.

"Because that’s the most important ingredient in the Hornus Potion. Without it, the potion won’t take full effect~"

"Huh... well, can’t you just, y’know, give me the potion anyway and add the last part later?"

"I could..." it said, almost offended. "But then that would be a waste of resources. And I am not like those cheap doctors who give you half-working solutions just so you’ll come back and spend more money."

It placed a hand softly on Finn’s shoulder.

Finn stiffened like a mannequin dipped in ice water.

It leaned in again, lips practically brushing his ear.

"I care deeply for my customers. Especially you~"

Finn swallowed so hard his neck clicked. "...Haha, yeah... uh, can you not touch me? Please?"

"Of course~" It backed off with a gracious little bow.

Then, smiling coyly, it added: "That being said, I think I have a plan. A little task, for you, darling~"

"Oh..." Finn didn’t like that word. Task. No one uses "task" unless it’s terrifying or comes with trauma. "Do I want to know?"

"Come with me back into the main room~"

It turned and opened the door, hips swaying like a metronome of suffering.

Finn hesitated.

Then glanced once more into the room. Just to double-check. No shrine. No doll. No rope. Nothing.

’Either I’m losing my damn mind... or there’s some weird reality-warping freakshow going on in here.’

He thought about Moistvile. About the dream. About that man. About the bubbling swamp goo and the cursed screams from the swamp. And then he thought: Yeah. Both. It’s both. Definitely.

With a sigh, Finn followed the Incubus Midwife back into the main room.

He didn’t know what he was walking into. But something in his gut whispered:

"This is gonna be worse than what I’m dealing with now... isn’t it."

***

Finn and the three girls now stood before the Incubus Midwife.

The girls waited in silence, curious or annoyed or just plain weirded out.

Finn, meanwhile, half-knew what was coming. The Midwife couldn’t make the potion—sure. But what exactly did it want them to do?

That, unfortunately, was about to be answered.

"Well," the Midwife began with an apologetic tone, "I’m afraid I don’t have any Slime Melo to use in the potion."

Majestria immediately rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You’re wasting my time. I have far more important duties to attend to."

The Midwife blinked, visibly caught off-guard by her rudeness.

Finn snapped before he could stop himself. "Like what, Majestria? Seriously—what’s so important that you can’t be here? This isn’t about you. It’s about me. And my future kids!"

Majestria gasped like she’d just been slapped. "Well I’ll have you know that people like me have responsibilities! I am a god—!"

"What responsibilities?" Finn cut her off flatly, deadpan. "You’re not in Heaven. You’re here now. And here? You’ve got nothing."

Majestria puffed her cheeks like an indignant squirrel, her face reddening with both embarrassment and fury.

But she did start it.

"I have important things like—like—!"

"Heaven? Gods?" the Midwife tilted its head, clearly confused. "Did I hear that right?"

Finn waved it off casually. "Oh, don’t worry about that. She has Alzheimer’s. It’s gotten so bad she genuinely believes she’s a goddess from the heavens."

The Midwife looked horrified. "Oh... I am so sorry for such a tragic condition."

"Yeah..." Finn sighed solemnly.

Chestelle gently leaned over to Majestria. "I’m sorry for your loss."

Majestria stared at her, stunned. Jaw fully dropped.

She turned to Licthorn. Who also gave her a sad look. And nodded slowly.

Majestria stepped back, baffled.

"I—I don’t have Alzheimer’s! I’m not even that old!" she shouted, stomping her foot and flailing like a furious toddler.

"Yeah, she gets like this when we mention it. Denial’s part of it." Finn added, somberly. Then, turning to her:

"I’m sorry, Majestria. You are a goddess."

"I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" she shrieked, launching herself at him in an explosion of divine rage.

And with that—

Majestria completely lost her temper.

Again. As expected.

***

After a while—thanks to Chestelle and Lickthorn physically holding her back—Majestria finally began to calm down, though not without plenty of flailing and dramatic threats about divine punishment.

The Incubus Midwife just stared, wide-eyed. "I didn’t know it was this bad..."

"Yeah... it is," Finn said, crossing his arms grimly like this was a documentary.

Majestria sniffled, still trembling with outrage. "I don’t have Alzheimer’s... I’m not even that old..."

She eventually collapsed to her knees, defeated and sulking in Chestelle and Lickthorn’s arms like a toddler after a tantrum.

The Midwife slowly cleared its throat, trying to redirect the madness back to the actual problem. "Well... since I don’t have any Slime Melo on hand for your potion—" it turned and opened yet another cabinet, rummaging inside.

Finn narrowed his eyes.

’How many damn cabinets does this freak have? Is this house secretly a kitchen warehouse?’

"I do have this." The Midwife pulled out a small scroll and held it up with flair.

"A handy-dandy map!" it added enthusiastically, like it was Jora the Map Explorer announcing a field trip.

"Think of it as a fun little quest~!"

Finn’s heart plummeted.

’That’s never a good sentence...’

"Where exactly do you find Slime Melo?" he asked, already regretting it.

The Midwife pointed a long, elegant finger toward the sky. "In a slime cave~!"

Finn stood there, jaw clenched, eyes dead inside.

"...Of course it is."