CHAPTER 87: CHAPTER WHERE EVERYONE FORGETS HOW TO SLEEP NORMALLY

Morning arrived with a soft ribbit next to Finn’s ear.

He stirred, groaned, and slid the hat off his face—blinking groggily at the small creature beside him.

A frog.

With wings.

Its front legs were replaced by a pair of feathered green wings, while its back legs remained frog-like. It blinked at Finn with unnerving calm.

Ribbit.

They stared at each other.

Then the frog simply turned around and flew away.

Finn didn’t even react. No screaming. No questioning. He just watched it go like a tired dad who had given up on understanding his kids.

’This ecosystem makes no sense...’

He sighed and turned his head—only to immediately flinch in horror.

Chestelle was standing right next to the rock, staring directly at him.

Except her eyes were closed.

He jolted so hard he almost fell off. "What the hell?!"

He narrowed his eyes, peeking over the edge like a suspicious cat.

"...Chestelle?"

Nothing.

She just stood there. Eyes closed. Completely still. Sleeping.

’Who the hell sleeps standing up?! Like that’s just... that’s a crime against normal people!’

He stared for several long seconds before deciding to try again. "Chestelle!"

Still nothing.

With a groan, Finn crawled toward the edge of the rock, stretched out a leg, and gently tapped her forehead with the toe of his shoe.

Thunk.

She fell straight back like a cut-down tree, slamming into the ground with an unholy thud.

"...Oh," Finn winced. That sounded painful.

Then, like something out of a horror movie, Chestelle slowly rose upright like a mummy resurrecting.

She looked up at him with a bright, cheerful smile. "Hi Finn!"

Finn blinked, trying to process the situation and her. "Hi...?"

Chestelle scratched her head, like she was trying to remember something.

Then her eyes lit up. "Oh right!"

She pointed dramatically into the sky. "Early this morning I was coming to tell you that I saw four people enter the cave."

"...What?!"

"Yeah," she laughed. "But I fell asleep on the way to tell you."

Finn just stared.

He wasn’t sure if he should be mad... impressed... or scared that she had managed to fall asleep mid-task, while upright, with her eyes closed.

"...Okay." He took a breath. "Do you know who they were? What they looked like?"

Chestelle perked up, proud that he was still talking to her. "Nope! Too far. I was sleepy."

Finn sighed and glanced toward the cave beyond the trees.

Whoever had entered—those four mystery figures—they could either be a blessing or a total nightmare.

Maybe they’d clear the path. Maybe they’d steal the Slime Melo. Maybe they’d just awaken something even worse inside.

Either way, he wasn’t taking chances.

With a huff, Finn slid off the rock and brushed himself off.

Time to figure out what kind of hell was waiting inside that cave.

But first, Finn needed to get the girls up.

With a tired sigh, he glanced at Chestelle, who sat obediently on the ground like some kind of creepy, cheerful puppy waiting for orders.

"Can you go wake up Lickthorn while I deal with Majestria?"

Chestelle shot to her feet like she’d just been assigned a sacred mission. "Yes I can!"

She darted off toward Lickthorn, who still lay curled up in her mossy, slime-fragment cuddle nest in full fetal position. Dead to the world.

Finn turned toward his own task.

Majestria was still floating midair, fast asleep, mouth open, drooling slightly like a majestic—yet profoundly stupid—floating statue.

He squinted.

’Should I collect that drool? Maybe bottle it up and sell it for gold? "Divine Fluids: Guaranteed to cure all diseases!" No—what the hell am I thinking? Focus, man. Cave. Danger. Priorities.’

He slapped his cheeks to wake himself up, rubbed his eyes, and approached the hovering goddess.

Standing beneath her, he hesitated. She was snoring softly. Peacefully.

’Alright. Gently now... just a quick wake-up. No drama. No arguing.’

He reached up and gave her the lightest tap on the shoulder. "Majestria—"

THUD!

She dropped like a rock.

Face-first into the dirt.

"—tra."

Finn flinched, wincing at the impact. "Oof..."

Majestria shot up with a gasp of pain, blinking in confusion as she looked up at Finn.

"What is WRONG with you?!" she shrieked. "You dare touch a goddess in her sleep?!"

She looked down and froze.

Her pristine, shimmering skin... now coated in dirt and moss.

Her divine body... desecrated by ground.

Her eyes went wide in horror.

And then she let out a long, blood-curdling scream that echoed through the forest like a banshee auditioning for a horror movie.

Before getting up and attacking Finn...

***

After some time, Majestria had finally finished beating Finn to a pulp.

He now lay on the ground, visibly bruised and barely breathing, groaning in pain from her divine wrath. His limbs twitched like a broken marionette.

Majestria stood over him, completely clean somehow, casually shaking her arms off like she’d just finished yoga instead of a public execution. A smug smirk curled her lips.

Then she noticed it—a single speck of dirt clinging to her finger.

"Disgusting," she muttered, wiping it on Finn’s shirt.

Then she wiped it again. Just for good measure.

Finn stared at her in disbelief. "That... was the pettiest thing I’ve ever seen."

Chestelle wandered over cheerfully. "She isn’t getting up."

Finn turned his head slowly. "Wait, what?"

"Lickthorn," she clarified. "I stomped on her and everything."

"...What the hell?"

Majestria folded her arms. "Well, go help her."

Finn blinked at her. "I can’t even feel my body. You beat me to a pulp."

Majestria smiled sweetly and raised her fist again. "Do you need another reminder?"

Finn immediately shot to his feet like a resurrected ragdoll. "Nope! Haha, I think I’m feeling great actually!"

He grabbed Chestelle’s shoulder, pulling her in protectively. "Isn’t that right, Chestelle?"

Chestelle blinked but nodded eagerly. "We’re best friends now!"

"Yup! Besties," Finn wheezed.

Without another word, he dragged her away with him toward the cuddle nest—limping, trembling, and internally questioning every decision that led to this exact moment of pain.

Going to see what the problem was with Lickthorn...