Ero Saint: I Created An Ero Massage Parlor In Another World
Chapter 26: Will Be Fixed Soon!
CHAPTER 26: WILL BE FIXED SOON!
’Is that even a question? Of course yes! Accept it! Accept now!’ I frantically screamed in my mind.
Immediately, a box wrapped in pink paper with a matching ribbon appeared out of thin air.
I rushed to grab it before it could hit the ground.
"Phew, almost let it hit the ground. By the way, why is the box so cute? The paper even had a piggies pattern. Is this Althea’s doing? Her taste sure is weird."
Just because the box looked adorable didn’t mean I was going to hesitate to open it.
I tore it open like an excited kid unwrapping birthday presents.
With nothing else left to read, I finally closed the system window.
"Phew. Alright, let’s just put all these ridiculous quests aside for now."
I took a deep breath. "Time to focus on what I should actually do first. Should I go back to the city and resume the life the original Aiden Edwards had...or just start over somewhere far, far away?"
Just as I was about to start thinking it through, I noticed something important.
I was still standing in the middle of the dump site.
"This is definitely not the place to make life-changing decisions," I chuckled to myself.
Before I walked away, I grabbed a piece of dirty cloth from the site and carefully wrapped up all the gifts I received from Althea. I tied it tight to make sure nothing would fall out.
Then I set off, following the sound of running water I’d been hearing in the distance.
A few minutes later, I spotted a small stream winding through the forest.
For someone who was slowly dying of thirst, the clear water looked more tempting than anything I’d ever seen.
I picked up my pace, starting from jogging, then sprinting, like I had just spotted a naked woman beckoning me over.
The second I reached the bank, I dropped to my knees, shoved my face into the stream, and opened my mouth wide and started devouring the water as though I hadn’t drunk for a week.
Shortly after, I pulled my face and took a long deep breath.
"So refreshing," I muttered, feeling a little more alive.
Even though I knew drinking untreated water could give me the runs, I couldn’t resist. Some risks were worth it.
"Phew. I can definitely think better now that I’ve had a drink and cooled my head."
I sat down on the grass by the stream, savoring the rare moment of peace, and started going over my options out loud.
"If I go back to Apel City, the trip alone will take me at least ten days, that’s ten day going to waste. And if I decide to settle in some random place, it’ll be even worse. The range of jobs I’d have access to would be so limited that at that point...it might actually be better to become a bandit."
The whole process took less than five seconds before the cute box looked completely ruined, as if a wild animal had gotten to it first.
I eagerly peered inside.
"Err... what exactly are these?"
Looking up, I saw two skinny guys standing in front of a small passageway that probably could only accommodate about one to two carriages, connected to the city wall.
Through the dirty cloth draped over my head, covering half my face, I could make out their worn-out clothes and the daggers strapped to their waists.
They were standing there with their arms crossed, trying way too hard to look intimidating.
"This road was opened by me," one declared.
"This tree was planted by me," the other chimed in.
"If you want to pass here, leave your money behind."
Naturally, I knew better than to mess with guys like this. If I were still the same person back on Earth, I probably would’ve just handed over the money or tried to look for alternative routes.
In fact, right now, I even felt the urge to poke fun at their little act.
"What tree? I don’t see any tree here."
They both froze, clearly caught off guard by my response.
There were three items, well, technically dozens, but most were duplicates. In essence, there were three different kinds of items.
I curiously picked up what looked like a talisman on the left side of the box. There were exactly ten of them.
Unlike a normal talisman with a complex inscription or writing, this one simply had a drawing of an eye without eyelids.
[Inspection Talisman]
[Function: Allows the user to see a target’s personal information, such as name, stats, race, and age. It can also reveal weaknesses or hidden conditions and illnesses.]
[Usage: Aim the talisman at your target. It can be used from a distance. Speak your chosen Incantation to activate it.]
[Note:
Using this talisman could potentially alert the target that they are being observed. Success chance decreases against targets of higher rank.]
’So it’s a talisman that lets me see the detailed information of whoever I target? This will definitely be useful for my survival! I mean, with this item, I would be able to know if I were to pick a fight with the wrong guy. Just a perfect item for a coward like me, haha!’
[Do you wish to set the Incantation now?]
’Yes,’
[Please choose the Incantation]
I paused, trying to come up with something that sounded powerful, cool, and impressive. My first ideas were:
"God’s Gaze!"
"Eye of Abyss!"
"Unsecrecy!"
They sounded cool in my head, but in the end, I settled on something much simpler and easier to speak in a hurry.
"Peek," I said in Avalondria.
Avalondria was the official language of the Avalon Kingdom.
[’Peek’ has been chosen as the Incantation formula.]
"Ugh, it sounds kind of lame, but at least it’s short. In an emergency, that’s what matters."
"Now, what about this item?"
I picked up the book that was placed in the middle of the box.
"Whoa. It’s actually quite heavy and thick." I was slightly caught off guard by its weight and density.
There was nothing on its leather cover, no titles, no images, no symbols. Nothing. I started to doubt its uniqueness. Just then, a similar window screen appeared right before my eyes.
[Low-Tier Random Skills Book]
[Function: When used, the book grants the user a random skill.]
"Even after working like a horse for an entire year in Apel City, I could barely make 50 gold, and that was already counting all the tips I got from rich customers. Now, in Putih City, where I rarely get a single client, I’d be lucky to scrape together ten gold in a year. And she wants me to come up with five hundred in a month? Why doesn’t she just tell me to go straight rob a bank instead?!"
I almost lost my mind just trying to figure out where the hell I was supposed to get such a big amount of money.
And honestly, what did she even need it for? She’s a goddess, for fuck’s sake. Can’t she just snap her fingers and make gold appear out of thin air? Or steal it herself if she wants? Or was this her way of testing my capability? To see if I was truly worthy to be her saint?
If so, then congratulations, she had basically set the difficulty to hell mode.
After a moment, I sighed.
It was a sigh of resignation, knowing I didn’t have a choice in the first place.
Once again, I was reminded just how insignificant I really was.
After a moment, I shook my head to clear away the useless thoughts and kept on reading.
Maybe the next quest is much easier to accomplish?
[Side Quest]
[Destroy the Five Rings of the West Borough]
[Reward: Medium-Tier Skill Book x1]
[Completion: 0/5]
"..."
If there were a table in front of me, I’d flip it without hesitation.
"Was she drunk when she came up with this quest? I haven’t met the Five Rings in person, but just hearing the rumors is enough to know they’re not the kind of people someone like me can mess with. If they existed on Earth, they would probably be on the same level as Yakuza or Triad, and what, the goddess told me to destroy them? Hell nah. I would probably be dead the second I think about doing it."
"This quest definitely isn’t any easier than collecting five hundred gold in a month."
I sighed, already pessimistic about the next quest.
[Sleep with Priestess]
[Reward: Permanent Stat Upgrader x1]
I went completely speechless.
Sure, this wasn’t as outright dangerous as destroying gangs, but I couldn’t exactly call it easy either.
In this kingdom, priestesses were about as common as rare, exotic animals. You only ever saw them at official ceremonies, city festivals, or other formal occasions. The rest of the time, they were hidden away in monasteries.
How exactly was I supposed to sleep with a priestess if I couldn’t even meet one outside an event?
And even if I did manage to find one, how was I supposed to convince her to sleep with me? I couldn’t even hold a girl’s hand back on Earth, let alone seduce a priestess.
It was like asking a fish to fly.
Maybe it wasn’t quite hell difficulty, but it was definitely nightmare level.