CHAPTER 307: ROOM 204, MISSION ROOM - 'HOTEL CINEMA' (29)

0% – Park Seungyub

Moving sideways with my back against the wall, I left the room and moved into the corridor. At that moment, I heard Thomas’s horn from afar.

What was the countermeasure for Thomas again? Was it getting on furniture?

Frantically turning my head around, I saw a table in the direction I was trying to move. The problem was, it was too far to go at this slow pace of walking sideways with my back against the wall!

“Thomas is departing! Please make way as we need to lay the rails!”

“Aaah! A-already?”

When I started to hear Thomas running, I shut my eyes and ran towards the table, away from the wall. I prayed desperately that Happy Happy wouldn’t attack from behind.

The prayer was answered with someone’s sacrifice.

“Happy Hap—“

“Woof!”

Hearing a terrible sound from behind, tears welled up in my eyes without realizing. Thanks to the time bought by Suzy sacrificing her life, I was able to get on top of the table.

– Whoosh!

Before I could catch my breath, Thomas passed in front of me with a loud noise. Indeed, as my whole body was off the ground, Thomas passed by without paying any attention to me.

“Kyeek!”

Rather, seeing it grab Happy Happy, who was trying to chase me from behind, with its spider legs and throw it away, I felt slightly relieved. Happy Happy’s leg was torn by Thomas’s attack.

Could Happy Happy be dead from that attack?

I didn’t think so. I recalled during Ahri-noona’s attempt, after Suzy bit and tore off Happy Happy’s leg, it appeared on screen again perfect condition.

“Dolly dolly! It’s tea time!”

Dollyphant’s second shout! There’s not much time left.

The second shout was much louder and clearer because I heard it after coming out. I could roughly gauge Dollyphant’s location.

“Yah!”

I jumped from the table and stepped on the next table. Due to the distance of the next furniture being quite far, I briefly touched the floor and then moved to the wall-mounted cabinet above, then ran stepping on chairs and the top of heaters in succession.

This way I could avoid Thomas, but my back was exposed to the outside. I needed to find Dollyphant before Happy Happy recovered and chased after me!

Running through the corridor, I passed two rooms and a space that looked like a living room. Dollyphant should be around here soon, but where? Surely somewhere around here—

– Ting!

I heard a clear, pure sound as if wine glasses were clinking. Praying that this was the place, I opened a huge wooden door and entered.

“Dolly dolly!”

“...”

“Dolly dolly!”

S-should I repeat it?

“D-Dolly dolly!”

“Hmm. I was about to stomp you if you answered any later, is Kevin usually slow to act? I had to call you twice and all!”

My whole body trembled at the ferocious atmosphere of the giant pink elephant.

Wouldn’t it have been less scary if it was a real elephant? Seeing this monster standing at the boundary between a real elephant and an elephant doll, I understood what people meant by the uncanny valley feeling.

“...Sorry.”

“Good! Come here and sit!”

The huge reception room-like space where Dollyphant stayed was prepared for tea time.

Several enormously large teacups shone in various colors—obtained from who knows where—were on the table, and Dollyphant was holding a huge teapot that I could fit into entirely with its trunk.

“Pfft!”

“What was that just now? Don’t tell me, did you laugh because I’m holding the teapot with my trunk?”

“No way! I was thinking how cool and beautiful it looks.”

“Cool and beautiful? Are you making fun of me now?”

“Eh? Huh?”

“Teapots are supposed to be held with hands! Kevin doesn’t even know that?”

“...I know. Teapots should be held with hands.”

“But I’m an elephant with only feet, so I can’t hold it and use my trunk instead. You saw that and laughed! Bad child!”

Aaah! Why is it acting like this? It’s not going to kill me for laughing once, right?

“No! I really thought it was beautiful. There’s no law saying you absolutely have to hold a teapot with hands, right?”

“Liar! Here’s a book on ‘Tea Time Etiquette for English Gentlemen’! Nowhere in here does it say to hold the teapot with a trunk! So I’m very sad... I want to boil all the authors who wrote this book in a teapot.”

Where did that kind of book come from? The people who wrote tea time etiquette probably didn’t know elephant dolls would participate in tea time! Are you angry because of that?

“T-that’s because the people who wrote the book had a narrow-minded way of thinking. They thought only humans would participate in tea time. Elephants can use their trunks.”

“Didn’t Kevin just say teapots should be held with hands earlier?”

“I made a mistake earlier because I didn’t know well. The body part used to hold the teapot isn’t fixed, you should use the most comfortable part of your body. Elephants hold with their trunks, and humans hold with their hands. So elephants are beautiful when holding with their trunks, and humans are beautiful when holding with their hands!”

“But tea time etiquette should be followed as written in the book?”

“Give me that book!” I shouted and stood up without realizing, and Dollyphant tilted its head for a moment, then picked up a small booklet with its trunk.

The book was so small in relation to the elephant that it made me wonder how it even read it in the first place.

As soon as I received the book, I picked up a pen rolling on the floor and added one sentence.

Elephants participating in tea time can use their trunks instead of hands.

“Is that okay?”

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Now I can use my trunk. Kevin, don’t you want to use your trunk too?”

“...I’ll use my hands since I’m human.”

I could add content to that book? I don’t know. Let’s just consider it no problem.

Dollyphant lifted the teapot with its trunk and started pouring tea. I was anxious thinking an elephant doll couldn’t make normal tea, but tea with an ordinary scent flowed out, whether there were tea leaves or not.

The problem was that the teacup was as big as a small bathtub, and the tea filled it entirely. It seemed a bit insufficient by elephant standards, but it was more than enough to burst my stomach.

“Kevin! Now drink the tea.”

With those words, Dollyphant put its trunk in the teacup, drank it all at once, and transferred it to its mouth. After repeating that action exactly three times, the teacup as big as a small bathtub was empty.

Of course, I drank as hard as I could too. The teacup was so big that I had to climb on the table to drink.

“The tea hasn’t decreased at all. Kevin, you don’t dislike black tea, do you?”

“I-I’m drinking!”

“It hasn’t decreased at all?”

Even to me, the tea in the teacup was still full. As I turned my head slightly while sweating, Happy Happy was glaring at me near the entrance.

Certainly, Happy Happy couldn’t come in because Dollyphant was here. Thomas seemed to have gone down to the first floor at some point, as its horn sounded from quite a distant place.

“I-I’ll drink!”

As I gritted my teeth and drank once more, I belatedly realized.

This is bullshit. I’m a 12-year-old kid now! No matter what I do, I can’t drink all this tea.

What should I do? If I insist I can’t drink, will it say I ruined tea time? Should I say the teacup is too big?

“Dollyphant, my teacup is—“

“Kevin, I brewed this tea very carefully. If Kevin leaves any, I think I’ll be very angry.”

This stupid pink elephant bastard, really!

...There’s no choice. This must be the moment when the power of my Blessing is needed.

Heaven’s Luck, GO!

The energy of the universe dwells in you!

– Thud!

The next moment, the room shook with a loud collision sound. My whole body danced, and as the entire reception room shook, books and decorations started falling to the floor from everywhere.

“Urgh! What is this—“

“Thoooomas!”

Dollyphant’s anger reverberated through the reception room.

“Can’t you drive properly? If you hit a pillar again and make noise around—“

– Crash! Screech! Thud!

Once again, this time an even bigger collision sound than before rang out. As the entire table started shaking, finally the cursed monstrosity in front of me began to sway.

“Ah! My teacup! My teacup!”

As the teacup shook and black tea spilled slightly, Dollyphant immediately became excited and shouted. I, who was also next to the shaking teacup, lost balance and almost fell under the table as I collapsed, but at that moment, something lifted my body.

N-no way, right? Dollyphant—

“Kevin! Are you okay?”

Dollyphant showed a gentler reaction than any I had seen so far. Probably because it judged that it wasn’t me who ruined tea time?

“...I’m okay. Thanks for saving me.”

“Stupid Thomas is trying to ruin tea time! After I brewed the black tea so carefully! Kevin, do you know how difficult it is to brew black tea with just one trunk?”

“It does seem difficult.”

Is it similar to using just one arm for humans?

“Wait here! I’ll be back soon after smashing stupid Thomas.”

With those words, Dollyphant left the reception room with a distorted expression. Not long after, loud sounds of something breaking started coming from outside.

“...What now?”

But what should I do now? Do I have to endure endlessly like this until all the strange things happening in the mansion end?

“Kevin... I’ve waited a long time.”

The moment I heard the whispering voice from behind, goosebumps rose all over my body! I immediately turned around and pressed my back tightly against the teacup.

“You’re still not gone!”

“Where would I go when Kevin is here? Kevin, wouldn’t it be more fun to play hide-and-seek with me than drinking black tea with Dollyphant?”

“Please go away!”

I stuck tightly to the round teacup and moved sideways. Happy Happy seemed to find that sight quite funny and started giggling.

“Kevin is like that again? Hiding your back and walking sideways like a king crab! Is that fun?”

“...”

“I told you earlier, didn’t I? If you keep acting like that, I’ll treat you ‘roughly’ next time?”

“I-it’s useless even if you stretch out your hand!”

“How about this?”

Happy Happy’s outstretched hand knocked over the teacup in one go. An enormous amount of black tea flowed, making the entire table and reception room floor slippery, and I instantly lost balance and slipped.

“This time, will you just lie still on the floor? Even so—“

I truly felt my breath catch. Not because of Happy Happy flashing sharp nails in front of me.

It was because Dollyphant had returned behind it. Just now, Happy Happy spilled the teacup in front of Dollyphant.

I muttered blankly, “Dolly dolly...”

“What?”

***– Theater

While the maddened Dollyphant roared and turned Happy Happy into H-A-P-P-Y H-A-P-P-Y to decorate everywhere, the hotel companions started analyzing the situation.

“It seems Heaven’s Luck ended with that,” Sanghyun said, and Kain also nodded. “It seems so. As a result of Heaven’s Luck, Happy Happy and Thomas were neutralized, and all that disgustingly large amount of black tea spilled on the floor. It feels like more than half the danger was eliminated at once.”

Jinchul showed a somewhat anxious reaction.

“Even so, that pink elephant is still fine? Moreover, that thing started brewing black tea again.”

Kain frowned and glared at the screen.

“When on earth does this damn tea time end? Doctor, do you know by any chance?”

Sanghyun, who had been searching his memory for a moment, answered, “My memory is a bit fuzzy, but according to the booklet that elephant has, it should be at least 1 hour.”

“At least?”

“If it’s long, it could be over 2 hours. Originally, such formal tea times were a leisure culture enjoyed by wealthy British nobles with plenty of time.”

“Oh my! It seems only about 20 minutes have passed so far.”

Everyone’s expressions darkened.

“But Kain, Seungyub just discovered something very important.”

“You mean the ‘Tea Time Etiquette for English Gentlemen’?”

“We can modify the content of the book that Dollyphant follows like the Bible. Seungyub needs to remember that fact again.”

***– Park Seungyub

“Cough!”

I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“Dolly dolly! What what? You weren’t trying to spit out my tea just now, were you?”

“...No, I just cough a lot originally.”

“Cough? Oh my, oh my! Kevin, you haven’t been taking good care of your health? This lemongrass tea is also good for coughs!”

The moment I saw the pink elephant pushing a huge grass that looked like a giant green onion into the huge teapot, I made a decision. I couldn’t endure anymore now. Doing anything would be better than dying from a burst stomach.

As if it had been waiting, a translucent window appeared in front of me as if telling me to press it.

The First Human, do you want to use it?