Lance.

    The sound of the wind rustles against the window in melodious music. The sound of the trees hitting the windowsill make me open my eyes. The ceiling is dark but the stars'' stickers shine brightly. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. For the past ten years, I have been completely happy. Content with everything in my life.

    I turn to his side of the bed and it is empty. This comes as a surprise because I usually wake up earlier than him. on weekends, he likes to sleep in. I give him the chance to do this by getting up and making breakfast. When he smells the food, he wakes up.

    Today seems to be different. I get up from the bed and walk to the bathroom. I should go look for him but I usually brush my teeth and have a quick shower before leaving the room. Our room. I have been with Ford for ten years—eleven if you count all the rocky times. When I first met Ford, he was everything I wanted in a person. He made me happy, he made me believe in my happy ending. There were a lot of problems with being with him. our parents didn''t want us together. he was battling a lot of demons—there are still days when he would lose control. Days when he will relapse but at this phase in our life, I have been able to handle those days. I have been able to give him space and time he needs to get back on track.

    Our relationship hasn''t been the most perfect one but I can vouch for the two of us that we are happy. I am the happiest I have ever been.

    Ten years went by and I plan on spending another ten years with him. I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

    After brushing my teeth, I walk out of the room because I can''t ignore that he is not in the room. I hear the rummaging from the halls. I already know he is in the kitchen. Ford rarely cooks, so this comes as a surprise to me.

    I hurry into the kitchen and it is a mess.

    He looks up from the bowl in front of him. there is a pancake mix next to him and a crate of eggs. I see a plate of sausages already fried up. He stirs the whisk in the bowl as he smiles at me brightly. His teeth come out "Good morning,'''' he breathes out.

    My heart melts at the sight in front of me. thinking back to the days of our youth. The young vibrant boy he was—he is not all man. His face has aged in the best way possible. The smile on his face just makes him look even more attractive. My boyfriend. The love of my life. The man that I gave my heart to.

    "What is, uh going on?'''' I walk over with a smile on my face.

    He stirs the mix in the bowl as I stop in front of the counter, opposite him "I am making breakfast,'''' he expresses like it is normal for him. I am used to this. the sudden change in his behavior. I don''t act surprised when he does something out of the ordinary. The meds help him keep his emotions in check but that doesn''t mean he is cured completely. There are still days when he would just do something to get it all out of him and I know making breakfast is not really a big deal for anyone, he is not usually awake so early.

    I am the early riser.

    "Do you need help?'''' I ask him as I walk over to him, trailing my hand on the counter table. The mess he made doesn''t bother me. I am not OCD about anything he does. He stops his stirring and turns to me. his eyes are brightly lit under the dim light above him. my smile widens as he reaches for me—I ignore the flour on his hands. He is a complete mess right now. his shirt is messed up with stains, his hair has flour all over him. the only part of him that isn''t stained with food are his ears. I reach for his face, tugging at his beard "Are you cooking, or is the food cooking you?'''' I ask him amused by the situation.

    He rolls his eyes playfully and grabs my hand "I wanted to surprise you,'''' he informs me, batting his lashes in the cutest way possible. My hands are still on him and I don''t even want to let go of him.

    I am surprised.

    "What brought about the surprise?''''

    He blushes, leaning into me. the closer he gets. The louder my heart thuds against my chest. It has been ten years and it still feels like the first time I met him. in his room at that party. The way he looked at me, the love is still in his eyes. "Char called me last night,'''' he breathes inot my mouth. Our lips are just an inch apart and the butterflies dance around my tummy as it usually does whenever I am close to him.

    My eyes open wide because I know what that means. Char is a friend I made in college. We have been friends for eight years and she is a social worker.

    "And?'''' I ask him already getting excited.

    His smile widens, he likes leaving me in suspense. The mystery that comes with this conversation. I haven''t checked my phone since last night, so I am sure she called me too. There is only one reason why she would be calling my boyfriend.

    The one thing we have been wanting for the past year.

    "She found someone,'''' he tells me still smiling. My hands are clutching unto him. my legs are already trembling.

    "Are you serious?'''' I ask him because this all seems too good to be true.

    He nods "I couldn''t believe it myself. This is everything.'''' he mutters excitedly. I am pretty sure he doesn''t have all the information. I am sure he just heard something along those lines and he is already celebrating.

    "Oh my god,'''' I manage because I am in shock.

    I have been thinking about adopting for two years. There has been this fear inside me. I didn''t know if it was a good idea with Ford and his illness but he mentioned it once and we started working on it. I didn''t want to restrict him from living a normal life. I wanted him to have everything. the full package.

    Wanting to complete our family wasn''t just my decision. He wants it too. It has been very hard—there are a lot of factors that we didn''t even think of.

    Things that came up.

    We have turned our lives around to accommodate this.

    "She said it wasn''t a direct adoption though,'''' he adds. I stop my mental celebration and look at him. he is still smiling, so that must mean that whatever it is isn''t so bad.

    "What did she say, baby? I am losing my mind,'''' I manage because the suspense is killing me. you have to understand that this is something that I have wanted for a long time and now that it is happening, I can''t contain myself.

    "It''s not a big deal. she said we have to do this first. They need to make sure we are capable of taking care of him.

    Him?

    Fuck, we are having a son?

    I totally forget about what he is saying and wrap my arms around his neck. He welcomes me into his arms by pulling me on top of the counter. I don''t care that there is a mess and it will stain my clothes. I don''t care as the bowl in front of him tips over to the floor.

    "Holy shit,'''' I exclaim excitedly, pulling away from him slightly so that I can see his face. That shine is still in his eyes. He is as happy about this as I am.

    "We are having a son.''''

    He nods his head "He is four,'''' he tells me.

    Four.

    Fuck.

    I haven''t even met him yet and I already love him. I want to give him the world. I want him to see us and completely trust us.

    I want to be his everything.

    It''s weird but I feel it all and I haven''t even met the kid "Oh my God,'''' I cry even more excited. He nods his head; it seems like he has gone through his own stage of celebrating. "Why didn''t you wake me up when she called?''''

    "You were tired. I wanted you to rest the night.''''

    I roll my eyes. Give it to Ford to thinking about me getting rest when there is something important happening. Sometimes, I think he cares about me more than he cares about himself.

    "I have so many questions, I want to meet him.''''

    He nods "She said we can set a meeting today. Whenever we are ready."

    I smile. My heart is still beating.

    Our life is just about to begin and I am so excited about it.

    I cant wait.