CHAPTER 100: LOOPHOLES ARE MY BREAD AND BUTTER

Chapter 100 – Loopholes are My Bread and Butter

He looked at her, expression dry. "Or maybe it was a smart Upper Realm move to make sure I wasn’t going to use this power to rip open a hole in your skies."

She gave him a perfectly unbothered smile. "That too."

They both laughed this time.

The tension faded—not completely, but enough.

Then Lux leaned forward, elbows on knees, and looked her right in the eyes. "But yeah," he said softly, "I’m kinda... glad for this."

Her smile shifted, a bit more human now. "You are?"

"I guess this is the first time we talked freely. Like this. Outside the council tables. Outside negotiations. Outside your—what was it?" He squinted dramatically. "High Goddess formal mode."

Celestaria gave him a deadpan stare. "You’re the one who wore a suit made from stitched infernal law scrolls to that one summit."

"It was dramatic flair," he said, mock-defensive.

"The scrolls bled."

"And they got the message across, didn’t they?"

She rolled her eyes, and he chuckled.

"Anyway," he said, setting his glass down. "I need more milk."

She snapped her fingers, and the glowing assistant appeared like a caffeinated ghost with an extra tray. The milk floated into a crystal glass, warm and perfectly frothy.

Lux accepted it like a man who’d just received a second chance at existence.

Then she said, with a faint smile, "Also... I’m surprised."

"Surprised?"

"That you didn’t try to charm me again."

He sipped his milk, then shrugged. "I know it won’t work on you."

"Oh?"

"You prefer this kind of approach. Not seduction. Not flirty mind games. Just..." He made a vague gesture with his free hand. "Actual talking."

Celestaria looked almost amused. "You’re saying you respect me?"

"I’m saying I respect that you’re not easily manipulated. Which is rare."

She tilted her head, examining him. "You’re changing."

He paused, the glass half raised.

"Or," she added, "you’re just finally showing who you are when you’re not busy playing diplomat or devil."

"...Don’t get used to it," he said.

She smiled again.

"Too late."

The silence this time was comfortable.

Soft lights. Warm tea. Almond milk.

Nothing exploded.

Nobody died.

No realms trembled.

And for the first time in what felt like an eternity...

Lux let himself just sit there.

And be.

He stretched, letting his limbs spill over the couch like he belonged there. His eyes flicked lazily toward the ceiling—gilded, domed, enchanted—and for a brief moment, he felt like a spoiled housecat parked in the living room of the divine.

"You know," he said slowly, sipping his milk like it was wine, "I could stay here for the rest of the day."

Celestaria raised an eyebrow without looking up from her teacup.

"I mean it," Lux went on. "I’ve got nothing else to do. Might as well loiter in divine therapy space until evening. As long as lunch is free."

That earned a full stare.

"You know you can’t do that," she said flatly.

"Why not?"

"The coupon," she said, "doesn’t include provisions for extended stays, or lunch benefits."

He clicked his tongue. "Seriously? That’s false advertising."

"You’re lucky it includes emotional validation and spiritual decontamination. We debated charging extra for those."

Lux sighed, theatrically. "Fine. I’ll buy my own lunch. I’m rich, after all. Just saying, the therapy chairs here hit different. That cloud-sofa thing near the bookcase? It’s whispering comfort to me."

"That’s because it’s alive," Celestaria muttered.

He paused. "...Noted."

She closed her notepad and gave him a pointed look. "You still can’t stay."

He pointed a finger at her like a lawyer on caffeine. "The coupon doesn’t say I can’t."

"It says it’s valid for one session."

"Exactly. One session," Lux said, grinning. "But nowhere does it define how long that session is."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you seriously arguing divine fine print with me?"

"Do you know who I am?" he said, raising both hands. "Loopholes are my bread and butter."

Celestaria exhaled sharply through her nose. "You are a menace."

"Thank you."

"Fine," she muttered. "You can stay until evening. But you know the Upper Realm rules still apply."

He gave a casual salute. "No threatening angels. No infernal summoning. No mass seduction spells within a fifty-meter radius. I read the brochure."

She got up from her seat, grabbing her files with an air of tired amusement. "I’ll have your assistant accompany you then. Try not to turn her into an accomplice."

"Which assistant?"

Celestaria paused. Smiled. A little too wickedly for someone made of light.

"Or maybe," she said, "you’d rather visit Archon Vizreel?"

Lux froze mid-sip.

Celestaria continued, all innocent. "He did give you a couple compliments last time. You know. When you consumed the artifact. Shirtless. On the mortal realm balcony. Monologuing like a devil-king from a tragic opera."

He choked.

Milk went up his nose.

He coughed, wheezed, pounded his chest. "Wait—you know about that?!"

She nodded serenely, sipping her tea like nothing was wrong. "We watched the whole thing. The very dramatic hand motions and the cringe monologue."

He was still coughing. "Y-you what—"

Celestaria set her cup down. "You were shirtless. The balcony view? Gorgeous. Very final boss of the realm arc aesthetic."

Lux groaned and curled into himself like a vampire reacting to sunlight. "I was alone! That was a private moment of triumph and possibly mild insanity!"

"Apparently not," she said. "You even said about that raise the devil thing."

He cringed. So hard he almost fell off the couch. "Oh Holy Hell."

"Oh yes," she said cheerfully. "I have the recording if you’d like to—"

"Don’t you dare."

Celestaria gave him a look like she was already uploading it to the Celestial Cloud.

Lux dragged his hands down his face. "So... you guys were watching me. Like... the whole time?"

She tilted her head. "The messenger told you, didn’t they? That we’d be monitoring you?"

"I thought ’monitoring’ meant checking my vitals! Not streaming my life like a reality show!"

She gave him a very straight-faced nod. "It kind of is a reality show. We get weekly reports. The mortal realm chaos rating spikes every time you monologue shirtless or flirt with billionaires."

"I didn’t flirt with them—"

"Lux," she said.