Help! I Became A Guy In A BL Novel!
Chapter 305: Find Myself
CHAPTER 305: FIND MYSELF
Catalina tilted her head. "Someone?" Leon did not speak softly enough, or his sister’s ears were simply too sharp. She did not miss that last comment.
He didn’t answer that part. He wasn’t about to explain that he was basically going to go chasing after a certain troublesome wolf. That was his business.
Catalina seemed to consider something, her golden eyes narrowing just a little. "What if I ordered you, as the new queen, that you can’t leave?"
Leon snorted. He thought she was serious for a second. Maybe she was. He met her eyes and gave her a crooked smirk.
"Come on," he said, his voice teasing. "You know I’m a spoiled brat who does whatever he wants. Why bother ordering me? You know I won’t listen."
Catalina tried to hold her stern face, but she couldn’t help it—her mouth curved into a real smile.
---
Leon decided to leave in a few days, he did not expect that his family would not take the news well. His sister tattled to everyone about him leaving.
And they had been hounding him ever since.
Leon was standing in the palace library, running his fingers along the spines of the old books. Catalina walked in quietly, her arms folded behind her back.
"You always came here to hide when you were in trouble," she remarked.
Leon huffed a little laugh. "I still do, apparently."
Catalina’s eyes softened. She walked over and picked a book off the shelf—The History of the Crown. She handed it to him.
"When you go, take this with you," she said.
He frowned. "Why? I already know our history."
"Because one day you might look back and miss this place... Having a reminder would make you less homesick."
Leon sighed, taking it carefully. "Thanks... I think." He narrowed his eyes. Ever since he told Catalina that he wanted to leave, she had never stopped trying to get him to stay.
She reached out and gently ruffled his hair. "Stay safe, brat."
He glared at her, but it was half-hearted. "Don’t mess up my hair."
Catalina smirked. "I’m the queen now. I can do whatever I want."
Celeste was sitting on the edge of the palace terrace wall, one leg swinging lazily in the air. She watched Leon pace back and forth like an anxious cat.
"Will you stop moving?" she snapped. "You’re making me dizzy."
Leon scowled at her. "I’m nervous."
Celeste rolled her eyes. "About what? You’ve already abdicated. You’ve done the hard part."
He stopped pacing. "It’s not that. I’m... I’m scared about leaving."
This has been his whole life. He had lived in this kingdom and never even left the palace. And he was a spoiled brat! He had everthing handed to him on a golden plate! How was he going to survive?
Celeste narrowed her eyes. "Are you really going to chase that person?"
Leon sighed, okay so Catalina knew, and now Celeste knew. Who else?
Leon looked away, embarrassed.
She sighed and hopped off the wall, dusting off her trousers. Without warning, she reached out and flicked his forehead—hard.
"OW!" he yelped.
"Dummy," she said flatly. "You always think too much and then you don’t think at all."
He rubbed his forehead, glaring. "What does that even mean?"
"It means if you want something, go take it," she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "And if you get your heart broken, you can come home. I’ll be here. I always was."
He blinked, surprised.
"Don’t look at me like that," she grumbled. "I’m not getting sentimental. Just go before you annoy me to death."
Come back if it does not work out? No, he can’t have that. He will make it work. Riven couldn’t get rid of him. Nope.
---
Leon found Sofia in the little glass greenhouse tucked behind the kitchens. She was tending to the orchids, her sleeves rolled up.
"Leon!" she said brightly when she spotted him. "Come help me."
He looked at her in horror. "I don’t know anything about plants."
He remembered how Sofia kicked him when he said he was going to help her take care of the flowers, but he tore one off to give it to their mother. No, she did not just kick him out of the greenhouse, she actually kicked him... Hard.
"That never stopped you before," she teased, grabbing his hand and pulling him to her side.
Sofia showed him how to trim a wilted bloom. He tried to copy her and nearly cut his finger on the roses. She gently took the scissors from him and shook her head, laughing.
"You haven’t changed," she said.
Leon hesitated. "Do you... Do you hate me? For everything?"
Sofia’s smile faded. She reached up and cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing under his eye.
"No, Leon," she said softly. "I could never hate you. It’s because we loved you, we were disappointed. And yes, it was partially our fault for spoiling you so much... Making you so entitled, arrogant, obnoxious-" Sofia was definitely going to keep listing insults if Leon hadn’t stopped her.
"Okay, okay." Leon interrupted. She didn’t need to go that hard.
"Anyway, I am happy that you changed. I am happy that we are together again, as a family... Until you decided to leave." She narrowed her eyes.
Leon winced at the way her gaze sharpened on him. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling like he was ten years old again and caught sneaking sweets out of the kitchen.
"Sofia..." he began, trying to soften the look she was giving him. "I have to go. You know that, right?" He was trying to find himself, he wanted to make something of himself.
Her eyes didn’t lose their edge. "Aren’t you glad that we were a family again, and now you’re running away?"
"I’m not running," he protested, but it came out a little too defensive. "I’m... Walking with purpose."
Sofia let out a slow exhale, her hands dropping from his face to cross over her chest.
"I know." He tried to smile, but it wobbled a little. "It’s just... I don’t want to be the Leon everyone expects. I don’t even know who I am without the crown, and I can’t figure it out here."