Book 4: Chapter 39: Very Pinchy

    As I walked the streets of Tropica, it was an undeniable fact that winter had ended. The morning air still held a hint of lingering freshness, but it was far from the icy chill of only weeks ago. A wind blew from my right, bringing with it a similarly warm touch that I barely felt. The floral smell of Maria’s hair hit my awareness like a shot of pure adrenaline, calling to mind countless memories, some of which I had no business recalling in the light of day.

    “Glad to see you’re having fun,” she jibed, smirking beneath red-rimmed eyes.

    “My bad. My traitorous brain imagines things all on its own.”

    “Traitorous, huh? Does that mean you didn’t enjoy said imaginings?”

    “Hey now, let’s not jump to conclusions...”

    “Good.” She leaned against my shoulder. “Just be careful where you’re thinking them. I’d hate to see what my lord father would do if he knew such pre-marital happenings were afoot...”

    Someone referring to Roger as a lord was always enough to make me snort, and Maria joined in, her soft giggle replacing the moroseness of only moments ago.

    We’d been walking the streets for ten minutes, moving while Maria processed her emotions. Her sadness was an unfortunate side-effect of reliving the king’s downfall.

    “I’m so sorry,” she said for what must be the tenth time today. “If I’d had any idea...”

    “Am I gonna have to introduce an apology jar? You’ll have to put in a gold coin for every time you say sorry for something you have no business apologizing for.”

    She attempted to shoot me a venomous look, but it lacked bite. “Fine. I’ll never apologise to you again.”

    “Thank you. That’s much better. Consider never apologising to anyone, though. Like ever. You’re betrothed to God-King Fischer, after all.”

    We both grinned at this, and she grabbed my arm, halting my steps. Spinning me with more power than someone of her stature should posses, she slammed into my chest and squeezed me with all her might. “Okay, I promise this is the last one. I’m sorry for the words I spoke. I know that you took them in stride, but they were still too harsh.”

    “If it’s the last time, then I accept your apology. I’m also sorry—both for how unpleasant the memory was, and that I didn’t share it earlier.”

    She gave me one final squeeze, then her arms withdrew. As she looked up at me, her eyes glimmered. “Now who’s making unnecessary apologies...?”

    “Touche?...”

    Without another word, we started walking again, our direction aimless. Her tiny hand in mine was more calming than it should have been. I marvelled at the softness, warmth, and strength of her as our fingers became intertwined. We passed tens of villagers in our wandering passage, and as various gazes landed on us, I could feel something... different.

    Without another word, we started walking again, our direction aimless. Her tiny hand in mine was more calming than it should have been. I marvelled at the softness, warmth, and strength of her as our fingers became intertwined. We passed tens of villagers on our way to the eastern wall, and as different gazes landed on us, I could feel something... different.

    Without another word, we started walking again, heading off toward the eastern edge of the village. Her tiny hand in mine—our fingers interlaced, her skin softer than silk—was more calming than it should have been. We passed tens of villagers on our way to the eastern wall, and as different gazes landed on us, I could feel something... different.

    Without a word, we started walking again, heading off toward the eastern edge of the village. Her tiny hand in mine—our fingers interlaced, her skin softer than silk—was more calming than it should have been. We passed tens of villagers on our way to the eastern wall, and as different gazes landed on us, I could feel something... different.

    “Odd...” Maria whispered so only I could hear. “They’re...”

    “Less reverent,” I finished, scarcely able to believe it. “And by a lot.”

    I had long ago resigned myself to the fact that the more others were exposed to my shenanigans, the more they might come to revere me. After last night, I’d expected their praise today to be egregious. That was why we’d put on the show with Sue, using a healthy dose of absurdism to lower their guard.

    Perhaps it hadn’t been necessary. The people we passed now, all of which were present at the feast, seemed rather reserved. Don’t get me wrong; there was still too much wonder for my liking. Any level of it was. But this was... unexpected.

    My steps were lighter as we rounded a corner, and I dared to let my awareness extend outwards, sensing what people felt when I wandered into view. Unsurprisingly, shock came first. Right behind it was a storm consisting of gratitude, thankfulness, and a little awe. Okay, it was a frack-load of awe, but the source of it brought me joy instead of the usual dread.

    I grinned at the main offender. “Gary! How are ya, mate?”

    He grinned back, letting go of his church’s door handle and waving at me with his right hand. The other was occupied by a basket. “Fischer! What are you doing here?” Hope beamed from him. “Did you come to check up on our progress?”

    “I’ll be honest, mate. Maria and I were kinda just wandering about.”

    He did well to not let his disappointment show.

    “But,” I continued, “now that we’re here...”

    Someone threw the door open from inside. A leviathan head peeked through the portal, and Pistachio extended a massive snipper outside. Never one to turn down our favorite lobster, Maria and I marched forward, both bending to fistbump his limb. He knocked the door aside, inviting us to enter with a soft hiss.

    However, he was too slow. The entrance of the building next-door flew open, banging loudly as a man skidded out onto the street.

    “Fischer!” Even if I couldn’t feel how glad Joel was to see me, I could see it all over his face. “What are you doing here? Have you come to meditate with us? It’s been so long that I can’t remember the last time! Is Snips with you? No, of course not—she’s still busy seeking enlightenment! So how have you been? Good, I hope!”

    “My man!” I held up my hands at his barrage of questions. “I’m happy to see you too, but I might not have time to meditate this morning.”

    I looked at Maria, non-verbally asking what she wanted to do. This was our last day together for a while, so I wanted to spend as long with her as possible.

    She tossed her head side to side, her hair swaying hypnotically as she considered. “If it doesn’t take too long....”

    “Of course!” came a feminine voice from inside. Jess skidded out with just as much energy as Joel. “Leave after five minutes if you like! You’ve never joined us, right Maria?”

    “I haven’t, no.” Amusement bubbled up from Maria’s core, but she made sure to keep it between us. “But I’d love to.”

    “Wonderful!” Joel and Jess both said in tandem.

    Darting a look at each other, they formed their human hands into an approximation of crab claws, then clapped by shutting them repeatedly. If I didn’t know them, this scene might have earned them a direct trip to Tropica’s not-a-prison until I could confirm they weren’t about to put on crab suits and start harassing people.

    He offered a massive pair of tweezers to Maira. They looked more like tongs as far as I was concerned, and Maria apparently agreed—the first thing she did was give them a testing clack.

    Peter held out his basket. “Grab a handful whenever you’re ready.”

    “Will they only eat that much?” she asked, looking down at her fruit-laden palm.

    “They’ll likely consume twice that again, but we’re careful to not overfeed them.”

    Nodding, she approached the tank. The moment Maria lowered the first berry into the water, a few nearby lob—crickets, damnit—took notice. Their adorable little antennae wiggled as they tried to locate the food.

    “Oh!” She giggled. “They must be hungry!”

    She spread the feast out as evenly as possible, ensuring there was a berry close to each of the miniature caverns they’d emerge from—and emerge they did. I couldn’t believe how many of them there were. As tiny little snippers pulled food apart, releasing their juices into the water, even more of the creatures appeared. There had to be almost a hundred of them. The floor of the tank was absolutely covered in a reddish hue that constantly shifted as they fought—rather politely, mind you—for mouthfuls of the sweet treats.

    “Where did you get so many...?” I asked. “The Gormona branch of your church?”

    Gary snorted. “I wouldn’t call them part of the Church—they’re still stuck in a cult mentality. I told them of Pistachio’s existence, and their response was, as far as I can tell, to flee the capital.”

    “Wait, what? When did this happen?”

    “In the time between your secret mission to collect coffee, and your secret mission to get supplies for a ship.”

    I leaned in close, giving the room a conspiratorial look before my gaze landed on him. “... Who told you about those?”

    Knowing both were common knowledge by now, we snickered. Maria rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face told me her true feelings.

    “I sent a letter with Pelly,” Gary said. “I thought seeing an awakened bird would lend credence to my claim, but she told me they looked terrified. When she went back the next day, they were long gone—as were the lobsters and crickets.”

    “Soooo,” Maria said. “Where did the others come from, then?”

    “Snips’s squad of rock crabs. Pistachio went out to find them, then requested they collect any they came across. Within a week, we had hundreds, most of which we returned.”

    “Ohhh, how was the squad? I haven’t seen those crabby little scoundrels in forever.”

    “The same as ever,” he replied. “All business, and very pinchy.”

    While we spoke, the berries had been absolutely annihilated, so Gary produced more. Maria was all too happy to drop them in, and just as she was placing the last of the fruit, she tilted her head. “Oh no... is that one sick?”

    Gary was at her side in a moment, crouching to look through the side of the tank. Wedged in the corner and surrounded by thick vegetation, a single creature sat. Its antennae moved about chaotically, clearly smelling the food, yet it didn’t take a step. Pistachio hauled himself upward, using his forelimbs as pillars to support his massive body. His antennae waved in thought, then he hissed. The meaning was clear.

    Scared. Hungry.

    “The lobster?” I asked.

    He nodded and hissed again. Small.

    “Small and hungry I get,” Maria said, “but why is it scared?”

    I winced, suspecting I knew the reason. “Lobsters are opportunistic feeders. Given the chance, they’re not above eating another of their kind.”

    “That’s... I mean...” Her lips formed a line. “That makes sense, but I still hate it.”

    Gary stepped forward with a small net. “I’m just glad we saw it in time.”

    He scooped up the lobster—who was none too happy about being disturbed—then rested the handle atop the aquarium, creating a temporary water prison. With great care, he moved rocks and tunnels to make an isolated area, its sheer walls too steep for any enterprising crickets to scale.

    The undersized crustacean exited the net with much less of a fuss, happy to be returned to the sandy bottom of the tank. It was even happier when Gary dropped a passiona berry in from above. Well, it retreated at first, kicking its tail to escape what it perceived as a threat. However, as soon as it smelled the food, it scuttled forward, probably intent on gorging itself before any of its brethren bullied it away.

    But none would come. The scrawny little thing had been given a holiday home, in which he would receive an all-you-can-eat buffet on the daily.

    Man, I thought. Life as a pet lobster sounds pretty sweet. I’m kinda jealous.

    “Hey, Fischer?”

    “Yes, Maria?”

    “That was a weird thought to share with me.”

    “Maybe, but that doesn’t make it any less true.” I grinned at my Church of the Leviathan pals. “Thanks for letting us see your lil lobbies. We’d better get going, though—very important meeting next door, you see.”

    “Important, you say?” Gary smirked beneath a raised brow.

    “Ah-huh! Might even reach crab nirvana if things go well!”

    I gave Pistachio a fistbump in parting, hugged Teddy, and shot Gary a wink—the laugh that came in reply was icing on the cake of what had been a recharging experience.

    “Have fun!” Gary teased. “And let me know if you attain that enlightenment!”