BOOK 5: CHAPTER 1: ROBBERY

By every metric worth measuring, and even some that weren’t, it was the perfect evening for a heist.

A blanket of clouds muted the moon’s brilliance; a steady breeze blew over the dunes, creating just enough noise to hide any misplaced steps; and most important of all, the treasure keeper had fallen asleep—a foolish mistake by an otherwise flawless man.

One furry thief turned to the other, and they shared a grin. The second of the two sprang into action. He rolled forward and leaped, silently tapping the handle of the back entrance to the treasure-keeper’s castle. The entire mechanism vanished.

The first wasted no time. She slipped into the breach. The air inside was still, and a pungent stench floated up from her gloriously furred body, filling her nostrils. An alchemical concoction. It was terribly offensive to her refined tastes, yet it was entirely necessary, the mixture hiding their presence to those with enhanced cores.

The second and more rotund of the two burglars rolled into the breach behind her, tumbling end over end in what was an exceedingly awkward but inarguably stealthy maneuver. Impressive, the first thought. He weaponizes his own spherical nature. This one is truly worthy of being my disciple.

He agreed with a mental nod, neither missing a step nor letting his joy drift into his aura. He was hyper-focused on their task. She grinned and crept onward. Victory would be theirs. Side by side, then one behind the other, they became the shadows, slipping through the night unseen, only halting when face-to-face with another door. The first true trial of the evening had arrived; this lock couldn’t simply be removed.

The second thief jumped and landed on the first’s shoulders. He held his breath, paused for the beat of a cultivator’s heart, then grabbed the handle and turned. It opened. Nothing barred their way.

The treasure keeper has grown complacent, the first thief thought, unable to keep a hint of a smile from her internal voice. He underestimates us…

The other didn’t respond. He was too busy drawing on his power. He dropped down and clung to her like a larcenous backpack, limbs rigid as his core yoinked any strands of alchemical scent coming from their fur.

She paused a moment, letting him get a good hold on the weave, then she flowed into the room, more liquid than living creature. She rounded a corner and the final obstacle came into view. They were only steps away. So close to the treasure. Mere centimeters from…

Movement. To her right.

She froze, a razor-sharp fragment of shell forming in the pit of her stomach. A murky shadow sat up and stretched atop the royal bed, its hellish shape separating from the others sleeping there. The beast yawned. Its maw became visible against the gray walls behind it.

Her worst fears were confirmed—the hound had stirred.

Neither of the thieves moved a hair. They dared not even blink. If the hound discovered them, it was over. The treasure would be relocated. They would never get this opportunity again. An eternity passed as the monstrous canine finished stretching. Finally, it flopped to its side, letting out a soft grunt when it struck.

Moments later, quiet snores came from its once-more-sleeping form. It hadn’t detected their scent. Her backpack squeezed her a little tighter, communicating that he was ready. Once more liquid, she rushed forward, grabbed the handle of a sliding door, and pulled it open with silent ease—

Something fell. A silver object, shining and terrible and filled with meaning. A pan.

The treasure-keeper was more formidable—more treacherous—than they’d assumed. He had laid one last trap, an unsophisticated-yet-effective measure that she’d been unable to sense with her chi. It tumbled in slow motion, its silvery shape threatening to give them away the second it struck.

Even if she caught it, could she do so silently? She would have to. This was it. The moment of truth. She stretched to her full height, narrowed her eyes at the descending item, and seized the adversarial kitchenware with both paws.

… Nothing. It made not a sound. Her disciple squeezed her again, his thoughts telling her the truth. It had made a sound—he’d stolen it from the air.

As expected of my familiar.

With that, Corporal Claws, lightning- and chaos-incarnate, reached up and stole the ornate chest her master had stored in his cupboard. She tucked it into her pouch, reefed RPM off her back and stuffed him in there as well, then fled Fischer’s bedroom, only pausing long enough to make a rude gesture at Brigadier Borks, who was now snoring happily atop the blankets.

A kilometer away, nestled between two dunes, Claws withdrew her prize once more. There was a raccoon attached to it. She was a benevolent master, so she allowed him to continue hugging his prize—for a few seconds, anyway. Then she shook him free. The cheeky little git would steal it for himself, given even half an opportunity.

She chirped an order. He readily obliged, slapping his paw against the padlock and sending a sliver of chi into the metallic object. It sprang free. With a flick of a dextrous digit, it fell to the sand.

My familiar is devious indeed, Claws thought. He has robbed this lock of its very identity. It must have fallen open out of shame.

“Actually, Master,” he replied. “I just took the mechanism out of the—”

Smack.

“Don’t ruin my phoneticism, squire!”

RPM appeared pensive as he rubbed the spot she’d struck. “Do you perhaps mean poeticism, Master? Phoneticism doesn’t make any sen—”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Smack!

“You dare correct me, junior?”

His chittering laughter oozed out over the dunes as he rolled away, using the power of her blow to tumble around in a chaotic mix of somersaults and barrel rolls.

Claws took a second to savor the moment. Even if her master were to come, he would be too late; now that the lock had been removed, there was nothing he could do. Fischer should have stored it in Borks, just as he’d done with the naturally formed artifacts—a head of a fish and ten petrified trunks.

He had fallen victim to his own hubris, believing his senses strong enough to detect any thieves in the night. Claws grinned. He should have known better. She set the chest down and clutched the unlocked lid between both forepaws. She imagined the myriad riches it could contain. It was her master’s—if it was tailored to him, what would be inside?

Gold? Pearlescent stones? … Perhaps food? A never-before-tasted crab, or even a handful of shellfish? She wasn’t a monster, so she hadn’t planned on actually stealing the contents—just peeking at it and taunting her beloved master. If it was a rare shellfish, though…

I’ll need to have a little taste. Then I’ll give the rest back. Unless it’s really tasty, in which case Master will surely forgive one more bite. Two max. Okay, two and a half. Then another half, but only because it would be rude to leave a partially munched molus—

Light exploded out from directly beside her. He’d come. Claws cackled inwardly.

Foolish Master! How easy you are to trick! She’d had those thoughts intentionally, wanting to lure him in.

She wreathed her body in barbed lightning. It would be enough to hold his essence at bay for a fraction of a second—more than was needed her to have a little peek.

Gaze upon my majesty as I open the chest before your very eyes, Master! Your reward for reaching 100 fishing, seen by my peepers before any other! You will forever remember the day that you lost this battle of wits against me, Corporal… huh?

Her lightning was just… gone. Sucked away. She glanced toward where it had gone, and when she saw the gigantic shape looming behind Fischer, she froze.

“Thanks for the assist, Claws.” Fischer rubbed her head affectionately. It felt lovely. “I wasn’t sure I could get it open without damaging the contents, so I thought I’d let you do it for me.”

She was surrounded by light. Only when he’d grabbed the chest did he drop the walls of solid chi holding her still. At the same time, the being he’d brought with him stopped draining her power away.

“Betrayer!”Claws screamed at the kraken. “You’re supposed to be on team elemental! Swine! Pissant! You smell like rotten fish thrice baked, then chewed, then spat out again!”

His tentacles writhed in amusement. Fischer she could forgive, but this bastard? She made a mental note to use some of the pranks planned for Barry’s domicile on this creature instead. Her very soul demanded satisfaction.

“I welcome the attempt,” he rumbled.

“Master!” She leveled an accusatory paw at the octo-prick. “He’s stealing my thoughts! That’s illegal!”

Fischer rubbed her head again. “I passed that one along because it was funny, but you’re right. I should have asked. Sorry.”

She sniffed and crossed her arms. “I forgive you. Unless it stops me from pranking him, in which case you will rue the day you gave me fish and helped me ascend.”

“I have no doubt, missy. If being forewarned was enough to stop him from being pranked by you, I wouldn’t have shared. Your mischief is unparalleled, and I have full faith in your ability to inconvenience people.”

She preened. Master always said the sweetest of things. It was one of the many reasons she loved him.

“And I love you too, even if you are an absolute menace to—” He cut off, having to backhand RPM, who’d tried burrowing up from the sand to steal the chest. “Society,” her master finished, watching the raccoon sail over the southern mountain range. “Oops. I thought you had time to draw him into your core before he flew away.”

“I did.” She grinned, and he barked a laugh. The sound made the electricity in her limbs want to dance, so she gave a full-body wiggle.

“Come on then,” he said, kneeling down and grabbing the ornate lid. “Let’s see what the System granted… me?”

Claws blinked. So did Fischer. The kraken let out a ponderous hiss of air. RPM returned in a flash, his neck craning to snoop inside.

“Claws?”

“Yes, Master?”

“Did you actually pull off the heist?”

She shook her head. Neither she nor her familiar had broken the seal. The larcenously inclined raccoon felt around within the wooden chest, his paws scrabbling, but no matter how much he tippy-tapped, there was nothing to be found.

“Well I’ll be…” Fischer said. “That’s a bit how ya goin’. This world just keeps presenting more mysteries.”

The kraken made a ponderous sound that could be confused with a belly-rumble if Claws hadn’t snacked all day. “I may know the reason for that.”

Her head whipped around.

Fischer, however, appeared unsurprised. “Appreciate the honesty, mate. I could feel you drinking in your thoughts, but I wasn’t gonna make you blurt it out.”

“Which I appreciate in turn, Traveller Fischer. I am willing to inform you, but would you perhaps prefer to learn it with everyone else?”

“Wait, you mean tomorrow?”

“I believe so, yes. It should be a part of Ellis’s planned presentation on the history books he absorbed.”

“As hard as it is to turn down hidden knowledge about this world and the System, I’ll wait to hear it with the others.” Fischer chuckled softly. “I never thought I’d be the one chasing Ellis down for secrets. It’s usually him filling that role.”

Claws glanced to the side as a wave of yearning came from her familiar. RPM’s front grabbers twitched, his gaze locked on the kraken’s center of mass.

Fischer noticed too; he shook his head. “Mate… I reckon you should have a long think about what you’re considering. I’m willing to bet it's a terrible idea to try and yoink memories from an elemental whose power is literally a void. The abyss might yoink back.”

Those words of wisdom from her flawless master did nothing to discourage RPM, so Claws drew him into her body, getting him to stay there via the promise of future shenanigans.

“Well,” Fischer said, turning to the kraken. “That’s that. Thanks for letting me bring you out here. And you, Claws…” He bent down to give her one last scratch behind the ear. She leaned into it so hard that she ended up gazing at the clouds above. “Thank you for your assistance. I appreciate you.”

She chirped as she straightened, agreeing that her efforts were worthy. She had given it her all. It wasn’t her fault that her master was flawless, kind, and so many steps ahead. Such things were to be expected.

With that, Fischer clicked his fingers, and they all vanished in a flash of light.