CHAPTER 235: TWO SIDES OF A BROKEN COIN

Chapter 235- Two Sides Of A Broken Coin

LOGAN’S POV

"Why can’t you just let me heal?" I said, my voice sharp, my chest rising and falling like I’d just run a marathon. "Why can’t you just let me fucking heal for once and forget about you?"

The words came out without warning. I didn’t plan them. I didn’t rehearse them in my head. I just... cracked.

I was looking right at him—sitting there like he hadn’t just turned my whole life upside down. My throat burned. My fists were clenched. My eyes stung like hell.

I stood up from my bed.

"You don’t get it, do you?" I said to him with a voice that was almost at the verge of breaking down. "I’ve been building. Building, Tyler. Do you know what that means? Do you know how much effort it takes to forget someone who lives inside your damn head?"

He didn’t answer.

Of course he didn’t.

"You want to know what I’ve been doing?" I snapped. "I’ve been stacking bricks—one on top of the other—trying to put a wall between me and you. I’ve been forcing myself to stop thinking about your stupid laugh and your stupid smile and your stupid—fucking—existence."

Still nothing from him.

"And then what do you do?" I laughed bitterly, throwing my arms out. "You just walk in with your sweet little ’I love you’ like it’s nothing. Like it doesn’t wreck me. Like it doesn’t destroy everything I’ve been trying to fix inside me!"

I stopped talking and looked right at him.

"In one minute, you brought it all down. One minute! One goddamn sentence and one kiss—and the whole fucking bridge I was building between me and you just collapsed like paper in fire."

I was breathing so fast I could barely speak, but I didn’t stop. I needed this. I needed to get it out.

"You think it’s fair? Huh? You think it’s okay to come into someone’s life, fuck with their feelings, leave them to bleed and crawl out of it—and then just show up again to set it all on fire?"

I pointed at my chest.

"You messed me up, Tyler."

"You ruined me."

My voice cracked, and I hated it. I hated how weak I sounded. How vulnerable I felt. But I wasn’t done.

"I hope... I pray that someday, you meet someone," I said, staring at him, my voice low now, more painful than angry. "Someone who makes your heart beat faster. Someone you like so much, you can’t even sleep without thinking about them. You fight every fear, every insecurity, just to tell them how you feel."

I stepped closer, slowly.

"And then I hope they look you dead in the eye and say they don’t love you. That you’re not right for them. That you two are just not... compatible."

My eyes burned again, but I kept going.

"I hope it breaks you," I said. "I hope it breaks you so bad you start asking yourself what you did wrong. What you lacked. Why you’re never the one people choose."

I swallowed hard.

"I hope you cry yourself to sleep. I hope you wake up with swollen eyes and an empty chest. I hope every song starts sounding like them. Every little thing reminds you of them."

Still, Tyler lay there.

Silent.

Breathing.

And that alone was enough to drive me crazy.

"I hope you start to move on," I continued, my voice shaking. "I hope you finally start to feel free again. Maybe even happy. And then just when you’ve patched yourself up... that same person shows up again, out of nowhere, and rips your scars open like they were never even healing."

I shook my head slowly.

"They say they love you. They kiss you. And in one second, you’re bleeding all over again. Choking on your hope. Gasping in the mess they left behind."

My voice was barely a whisper now.

"I hope it all happens to you."

He still didn’t speak.

And maybe that’s what made it hurt the most.

I looked at him one last time, my face twisted in pain.

"Goodnight," I said, voice broken, hands trembling. "And I hope you feel that same pain someday. I can’t wait for it."

———————-

TYLER’S POV

I didn’t even know what pushed me into kissing Logan.

I swear, I didn’t plan it. It just happened. But it wasn’t out of lust. It wasn’t me trying to calm him down or mess with his head. No. That kiss... it came straight from my chest. From every scared and confused part of me.

I kissed him because I was terrified.

Terrified of losing him.

I had never sat down to think about how much he meant to me, not seriously. But that fear of him walking away—of us never speaking again—was always there, hiding inside me like a shadow I couldn’t get rid of.

I kept telling myself I was fine. That I was better off without him. That we weren’t right for each other. That I’d move on, find someone else. But every time I tried to push him away, it felt like I was cutting pieces of myself off.

The day I told him I didn’t want to see him again...

It felt like I was the one being dumped.

It felt like my own heart was being shattered into dust.

I know he thinks I didn’t care. That I moved on easily. That I wrote that stupid letter like it was just words on paper. But the truth is, I was broken. Completely wrecked. I didn’t eat. I didn’t leave my room. I just laid there, staring at the ceiling like a ghost, wondering why I felt like I’d lost something I never even had the right to want in the first place.

That’s when I realized...

I really do like him.

And maybe I’ve always liked him in some messed up way, even before I let myself admit it.

After he read that letter and everything went to hell, I tried to pretend like I was okay. Like I was strong. Like I didn’t care. But every time I saw him—or even heard his voice—I broke down inside.

He thinks he ruined my life by exposing the truth about my girlfriend. But what he doesn’t know is... he saved me. He saved me from a fake relationship that was built on lies. I was so deep in denial that I didn’t even know I was the only one in love.

That bitch never really loved me.

And when I finally accepted that... I realized it was Logan who helped me see the truth.

That was the beginning of everything.

That was when I started to fall for him.

But after thinking about it over and over again, I convinced myself that leaving Logan was the right thing. That staying away was for the best. That maybe if I let him go, he’d finally be happy again.

Did he really think I wanted to write him that letter?

Did he really think it made me feel good?

God, if only he knew how hard it was. How many times I almost tore it up. How many nights I stayed awake, trying to find a better way to tell him I want him back. But there wasn’t one.

He would never believe anything I said anyway.

Especially now. After everything.

I kissed him with every part of me. I leaned in, scared and shaking, but hoping, hoping that maybe—just maybe—he would feel what I felt. But instead, he looked at me like I was a joke. Like I was using him.

Do I really look like someone that evil?

Do I really seem like the kind of person who would play with someone’s heart just to feel powerful?

I wanted to shake him. I wanted to scream at him until he understood that none of this was a game to me. That I didn’t mean to confuse him or hurt him. That I wasn’t trying to control him or make him fall apart.

But what was the point?

He wouldn’t believe me anyway.

So I stayed quiet.

I laid there, pretending to be asleep, even while his voice filled the room like thunder. He was ranting, shouting, cursing me out... and I deserved it. Maybe I deserved all of it. Maybe I even deserved the curse he laid on me—that I’d fall in love with someone who’d break me the way I broke him.

The painful part was... I didn’t need to wait for that to happen.

It already did.

I already am heartbroken.

I already lost the one person I didn’t even know I needed until it was too late.

He thinks I’m fine. He thinks I’m cold. He thinks I’m a monster. But deep down... I’m shattered. I’ve already cried the nights he doesn’t know about. I’ve already laid awake with nothing but guilt and regret eating me alive.

When he finally said, "Goodnight," I couldn’t take it anymore.

I sat up.

My heart was racing. My hands were shaking. I looked over at him, lying on the bed like he hadn’t just ripped my chest open with his words.

"Do you really think I wasn’t heartbroken too?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "Do you really think it didn’t hurt me when I wrote you that letter?"