CHAPTER 21: UNTIL I DRAGGED IT OUT OF YOU?

The tension followed them all the way back to the dorm.

Aiden’s hand never let go of Cassian’s wrist, not even when Leonel gave that sly little wave and called out, "See you both tomorrow." His voice had been smooth, casual, but his eyes lingered on Cassian, always on Cassian.

Cassian tried not to look back. Tried not to feel the burn of Leonel’s gaze drilling into his spine. Tried not to think about how his pulse still hadn’t steadied from the way Leonel’s fingers had brushed his earlier.

But it was impossible. Every step down the quiet streets felt heavier, louder, as though his own heartbeat was echoing against the pavement.

Aiden said nothing the entire way. Not a word. Just walked briskly, grip firm around Cassian’s wrist, dragging him along like Cassian might slip away if he let go. The silence pressed harder than Leonel’s teasing had, harder than Cassian’s messy thoughts.

By the time they reached the dormitory hall, Cassian’s nerves were stretched tight. The dim yellow light from the ceiling flickered, throwing uneven shadows across Aiden’s face as he finally stopped walking.

Cassian stumbled slightly when Aiden tugged him to a halt. His wrist was released at last, but before relief could settle in, Aiden turned to face him fully.

His voice was low, even, too steady. "Are you still not going to tell me what happened?"

Cassian blinked. "W-what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." Aiden’s eyes narrowed, sharp and unrelenting. "Why are you hiding things from me? For what?"

The words landed like stones in Cassian’s stomach. He looked away, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"I’m not - "

"Don’t lie."

Aiden’s interruption was quiet but it sliced through, firm enough to make Cassian flinch.

He’d seen Aiden angry before. Over dumb things, petty things. But this wasn’t the same. This wasn’t annoyance or frustration. This was... hurt. Beneath that controlled tone, beneath those sharp eyes, Cassian could feel it an ache Aiden was trying so hard to bury.

Cassian’s throat tightened. His chest felt too small, too constricted to hold everything swirling inside.

He could have lied again. He could have laughed it off, thrown out some stupid excuse, brushed past the moment like always. But when he looked at Aiden the familiarity in his face, the years of unspoken trust between them Cassian’s heart cracked.

Even if he hadn’t been here since childhood, Aiden always felt like home. And the guilt gnawed at him, demanding to be spoken.

Cassian’s confession hung in the air like a blade suspended over them both.

"I... kissed Leonel."

The words left his lips in a whisper, shaky and unsure, but they carried the weight of an explosion.

Aiden froze. His face, usually so easy to read warmth, irritation, teasing smirks hardened into something unreadable. His eyes widened just a fraction, then narrowed, the lines of his jaw stiffening until Cassian wondered if he might break his own teeth from clenching them so hard.

The hallway suddenly felt claustrophobic, the walls pressing in closer, the yellow dorm light flickering overhead as if even the bulb couldn’t handle the tension vibrating between them.

Cassian panicked at the silence. His chest constricted, breath stuttering, and he rushed to fill the void before it swallowed him whole. Words tumbled out of him, uneven and desperate.

"It -it was the night I got drunk. I don’t even remember how it started, I just... I woke up and realized... we kissed." His voice cracked at the edges, his fists curling tight at his sides. "I should’ve told you. I didn’t because... because I didn’t know what it meant. I still don’t."

The truth hung raw and jagged between them.

Aiden didn’t move at first. Not a blink, not a breath Cassian could notice. Then, slowly, he inhaled, a deliberate, steady pull of air through his nose like someone on the brink of losing control. His fists curled, knuckles white, but he didn’t lash out. He didn’t shout.

And somehow, that terrified Cassian more.

When Aiden finally looked at him again, his eyes weren’t just sharp they were burning. Fire banked behind restraint.

"So you weren’t going to tell me until I dragged it out of you?" His voice was low, steady, but every word struck harder than if he’d screamed. Each syllable felt like it cut into Cassian’s skin, leaving invisible wounds.

Cassian flinched, shame crawling up his neck, his throat tight. "I -I just... I didn’t want it to ruin things."

That earned him a laugh. Not the soft, teasing kind he knew so well. This one was hollow, bitter, and it stung worse than anger.

"Ruin things?" Aiden echoed, his mouth twisting into something that wasn’t quite a smile. "Cass, do you even hear yourself?"

Cassian’s chest ached so sharply it felt like his ribs were caving in. His words tangled on his tongue, tripping over themselves. "I didn’t mean it like that. I just... I didn’t know how to explain. It didn’t mean anything. I don’t even - "

"Doesn’t look like ’nothing’ to me." Aiden’s voice cut across his excuses, sharper than any blade. He took a step forward, and Cassian’s back brushed the cold wall behind him.

The weight of Aiden’s eyes bore into him, unrelenting. "The way Leonel looks at you. The way you..." His words faltered, his throat bobbing as if the next part was too painful to force out. He shook his head, fists trembling at his sides. "You don’t even realize it, do you?"

Cassian swallowed hard, voice breaking on a whisper. "Realize what?"

Aiden’s gaze locked onto him, pinning him down as surely as if he’d reached out and grabbed him again. His voice came quieter now, stripped of its earlier bite, and that only made it worse.

"That every time you laugh with him, every time you let him close, you’re pulling further from me."

The words hit Cassian like a punch straight to the chest. His breath caught, stuck somewhere between denial and guilt.

He wanted to tell Aiden it wasn’t true. He wanted to shake his head and insist that nothing could change the years they had together, that Leonel was just... Leonel reckless, infuriating, confusing.

But the truth wedged itself deep inside him, cruel and unshakable.

Because he had laughed with Leonel. He had let him close. He remembered the way Leonel’s touch lingered, the way his smirk sent his pulse racing, the way his kiss had burned into his memory despite how hazy the night was.

And he couldn’t deny it. Not fully. Not with the guilt coiling so tightly in his stomach.

Cassian opened his mouth, but nothing came. No words. No excuses. Only silence.

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. Aiden stood there, chest rising and falling with controlled breaths, while Cassian pressed back against the wall, trembling under the weight of his own unspoken truths.

Finally, Aiden stepped back. Just one step, but it felt like miles. His expression shifted, walls slamming into place, shutting Cassian out.

"Just..." His voice cracked, the sound raw and unsteady before he steadied it again. "Just think about what you’re doing, Cass."

Cass. The nickname sounded different this time strained, jagged, almost broken.

Cassian’s heart squeezed painfully.

Aiden turned quickly, his footsteps heavy against the linoleum floor as he walked down the hall. Each step felt like it echoed inside Cassian’s chest, pounding louder than his own heartbeat.

He didn’t call out. He didn’t chase after him. His throat was too tight, his legs too weak. He just stood there, watching Aiden’s back grow smaller and smaller until he disappeared around the corner, leaving Cassian alone in the flickering light.

Cassian’s chest heaved. His lungs refused to fill properly, air stuttering in and out like it hurt just to breathe.

His mind spun Aiden’s eyes, so sharp yet so vulnerable; Leonel’s smirk, infuriating and intoxicating all at once; the memory of lips on his, heat flooding through his veins.

He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, willing the thoughts to stop, willing the guilt to quiet. But it didn’t. It only grew louder, screaming at him from every corner of his mind.

He hated it.

He hated the guilt.

He hated himself for not being able to choose, for not being able to push Leonel away completely, for letting Aiden’s words cut so deeply because they were true.

But most of all, he hated himself for the one truth he couldn’t deny, no matter how hard he tried.

He didn’t wanted to loose anyone his friendship with aiden he didn’t wanted to ruin it his unknown feeling with leonel he didn’t wanted to loose it either

And that was the worst sin of all.

Cassian’s knees buckled slightly, and he pressed his back harder against the cold wall, eyes staring at the cracked ceiling tiles above as if the answer might be written there. But there was no answer. Only the echo of Aiden’s retreating footsteps and the ghost of Leonel’s lips.