CHAPTER 110: I SEE DEAD PEOPLE... IN LINGERIE

Jack shared some conspiracy theories about time.

For him, time was just a concept created by clock companies to sell more clocks. If I had asked him how many genders there are, he would have said Gender is a scam invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

And moreover, he said one hour ends just by one swing of a stick inside a clock.

The worst part? He said all that as if he was making some revelation. As if he exposed the illuminati. As if a woman thinking of herself as the Oracle after managing to park a car without breaking the headlights of the car behind her.

I shook my head. "You talk nonsense, Jack."

[ As if you are one to talk. I heard your narration just now. ]

I didn’t reply to the system, mostly because Jack could hear my thoughts.

"What narration is your system talking about, pal? And how do you have a system?"

"... Before that, how do you know what a system is?"

"I read some novels about it. They were my only source of entertainment apart from watching children drenched in water and their clothes becoming see through."

"... Dude, I am already in a cell. Why are you trying to send me in another one? But forget that... tell me this, if you are afraid of ghosts then why were you sad when they didn’t agree to become your friends?"

"Isn’t that obvious? My fear could have been repaired. If only one spirit had come up to me with a smile, I would have cried out of happiness. But no one came. Therefore, my fear remained in my heart and I was sad because even after death, I wasn’t wanted."

If he was on earth and had done the things he did in this world, he would surely be wanted. 5 stars at that.

"But now I am not sad anymore. I finally found a friend."

Jack flashed a smile. His brown teeth made me nostalgic of the time I had spent in the toilet seat.

But at his words, I frowned.

"You made a friend? Who?"

"You, of course."

"What? When did I become your friend? I don’t want any panty dropper friend."

"How did you know I wear panties?"

"Because I saw them when you dropped your pants."

"You saw me wearing panties and didn’t say anything? You didn’t find it weird?"

"Bro, I have seen Aliens with antennas, demons with their grandpa’s horns on their heads, a ghost who is afraid of ghosts. Panties are the last thing that can get a reaction out of me."

Jack nodded. "I get it."

He hovered his holographic hand on my shoulder.

"So you take drugs as well."

My brows twitched.

"I don’t take drugs. The only thing this world has for a drug is milk... of my dad. That’s why I always say no to drugs."

Jack removed his hand.

"So the Aliens with antennas, demons with horns, girls without padded bras, you don’t hallucinate them? They are real?"

"I am not sure if I mentioned anything about girls there. But yeah, except the padded bra girls, Aliens and demons are real."

Jack’s eyes widened. "No way!"

He held his hairs and crouched on the floor.

It must have hit him hard. He hadn’t been out of prison for a hundred years. Of course he would be shocked to know about Aliens and Demons.

He stared at me with those shocked eyes.

"So even Aliens and Demons exist but no girls without padded bras!?"

"That’s what you are shocked about?"

"Yes!"

"Bro, if you are that shocked about girls with padded bras, wait till you see Earth. Forget about padded bras, you will have a hard time just figuring whether it’s a girl or not."

"Earth? What’s that?"

"Nevermind."

"Sure. But tell me more about it. When did the Aliens and Demons arrive here? The last I knew about this world was that there were happy and good people and no other prisoners were here other than me. I was the first customer here.

That degenerate guy who died by my flies, he was the second prisoner and he was here because his wife accused him of domestic violence and people threw him here.

He told me never laid a finger on her, he didn’t even have sex with her because he was afraid to touch someone else’s daughter. Heck, on his first night, he scolded his wife about why she was awake so late at night. Then, he dropped his wife at her home and told her that she shouldn’t stay at a stranger’s house this late at night even if the stranger is her husband."

"... Did you make all that up?"

"No! It’s true."

I sighed. "Then an innocent man died by your flies. And stop calling him a degenerate. Because he wasn’t. His death is the loss of this world. We failed him. And you are a ghost so how can he see you? And how can I see you? Ghosts aren’t supposed to be visible, right? Just like a bra stripe."

"Yes. Ghosts are supposed to be invisible and they are. And for your question, I have no answer to that. I have only met two living people by now. You and that innocent man. Though, I have walked past some guards and they showed no reaction. Either they weren’t able to see me or they just couldn’t be bothered. But forget that, tell me more about these Alien and Demon things. What happened out there while I was here? Tell me your story, pal."

I exhaled a mouthful of breath.

"Alright, listen up. I won’t take too much time."

"That’s what you said to her."

"Very funny. Now listen.."

I wasted no time and explained everything to Jack.

How the Aliens invaded Moral when he was in prison, how they captured two continents, how the Supreme Man appointed the first hero king—Casanova, then me—Second hero king, Racis T.

I told Jack everything. Like my family, my dad’s obsession for milk, my aunty whose brain is the size of a girl’s penis—yes, it doesn’t exist, I told him about my grandpa who will get laid with anyone that resembles any race other than Humans, that man would either end racism or make it worse, I also told Jack about my passion for comedy, about Erect and Sexis, then about Malthus.

Also, how I fought with Malthus, what Malthus did to me and the world and how he killed the God–Supreme Man and how the Supreme Man healed me and sent me in the cell.

It took me nearly thirty seconds to tell Jack all this, mostly because I didn’t go into details because you already know what happened to me. And on the off chance, if you don’t know... then just remove me from your library at this point. Go meet an elephant to take some pointers for a better memory.

Anyway, I finished telling everything and Jack heard me attentively.

As I reached the end, his eyes were wide open just like his mouth.

"Yeah, Jack. All of that happened for real." I said.

Jack looked down, he looked puzzled, not sure what to say.

Then he shot his gaze at me and with utmost seriousness, said:

"Take me to your dad. I want him to drown me in milk. If not, then tell your grandpa that you found a new race who wants to run. Do it!"

"..."