CHAPTER 44: CAUSE TROUBLE, THEN MAKE IT DOUBLE

This can’t keep going... at this rate the entire building’s going to collapse, and who’s supposed to pay for it? Me? I don’t even have enough money for snacks, let alone property damage.

Amara... she’s not part of the main plot, right? I couldn’t see her thoughts before. Then again, I didn’t have any author powers back then, so maybe that explains it.

The two women keep clashing, fighting to the death over me. Damn... why is this kind of thrilling? No, focus! I can’t let this go on until one of them actually dies. Wait a second—if Amara’s here, then who’s playing the role of Death right now? ...Whatever, I’ll figure that out later.

I back into the corner, whip out my quill, and start scribbling in the air at lightning speed.

{Freeze time in a ten-kilometer radius. Only I can move.}

That should do it. The protagonist’s party had already left, so no one important should get caught—

[Invalid request: Main plotline agents detected in area.]

Wait... what?! My stomach sinks. Who?!

Oh. Right. The twins. And the guild master. Shit.

Fine, plan B.

{Roxy and Amara stop fighting. They agree to share me together after bonding like sisters.}

Perfect. That should calm everything down.

The fight cuts off in an instant. I hear two voices outside—crying? I step over to the jagged hole in the wall and peer down. Third floor at least, but sure enough, the two lunatics actually leapt out mid-battle. And now... they’re hugging? Did it actually work?

"Quill! You bastard!" Roxy roars, axe raised toward me. "How dare you toy with two innocent girls like us? Take responsibility and fulfill your promise right here, right now!"

Oh no. No, no, no. That’s not what I meant! I really need to wipe their memories before this gets out of hand.

A heavy pat lands on my shoulder.

"Great job, Quill. Even I don’t have a wife yet, and here you are beating me to it," Powder says, puffing his chest like he’s already my best man. "I can’t wait to be an uncle. At least ten children—you’ll need that many for a strong family line."

I shoot him a disgusted look. "Piss off."

He bursts into laughter, still playing the doting brother. "No, no, no. Quill, you said it yourself. You have to marry them now. By the way... what was the name of that beauty again?" He licks his lips.

"Hey! Hands off. What’s mine is mine." Seriously, this guy... so innocent yet so perverted. Go find your own women.

"I’m just messing with you. Wanted to test how much you liked her." He flashes me a knowing smile, and I know I’ve already lost.

"...Amara. Her name’s Amara," I mutter, rolling my eyes. With a sigh, I jump down through the broken wall.

Should be nothing with my current stats. Right?

Wrong. Pain explodes up from my feet and rattles through my entire body.

DAMN! That hurts! How the hell did those two pull it off like it’s nothing?!

I walk toward the two women, both glaring at me with fire in their eyes. With so many people watching, I can’t back down now. I have no choice but to keep the act going.

It feels completely unfair... but hey, if it entertains the readers, then at least someone’s getting something out of this mess.

[New comment from ObservantReader on Chapter 39: {Oh! then you’ll have to marry Roxy as well, congrats on having two wives! 🥳 so... when’s the wedding?}]

Suddenly, the system drops me a comment at the worst possible moment. Seriously? Right now? But then it hits me... oh no. It’s that rule about having to marry anyone who’s seen me naked. Wait... Roxy. She’s a demon, not even human! I can’t possibly marry her. But also... if I don’t, won’t I lose all the respect I’ve somehow scraped together? Maybe this ridiculous comment is actually the awakening I needed so desperately...

I throw my arms around both girls. Their eyes are locked on me, hurt and expectant all at once. My chest tightens. Is this really it? Maybe it’s time to become the dad Powder keeps insisting I’m destined to be... but dammit, I haven’t even started my adventure yet! AHHH! Somebody save me from this decision!

"Stupid Quill... already finding me a sister when we... we haven’t even kissed yet," Roxy mutters, cheeks blazing red.

Who even are you right now?!

[Big Boss here again. As the story continues, Quill seems to be having... a moment... with Roxy. At this point I might have to take the whole book down, or age him up, because censorship is going to eat me alive.]

I snap back, realizing my lips just brushed Roxy’s. I stumble back, staring at her in shock. How in the world did we just share our first kiss?!

[New comment from ObservantReader on Chapter 39: {Oh Quill, soon you’ll wake up in a pile of bodies you can’t get rid of}]

Now I’m starting to wonder if you can actually predict the future... There’s no way these comments just drop on me at random. Either you or the system are deliberately messing with me, and it’s absolutely not the time for this!!!

"Quill... I’m sorry, I overreacted..." Amara suddenly clings to my arm, pressing her soft face against it. AHHH, so cute...

"It’s alright..." I manage, trying not to melt.

"But where did you come from, Sister Amara? How come you and Quill got married in secret before me?" Roxy pouts, her sulking expression just as cute—and just as dangerous.

Crap. How the hell do I even explain Amara’s existence to the others?!

"Actually, we—" Amara begins, but I slap my hand over her mouth before she can say anything. Her wide, startled eyes shoot up at me.

"Actually, my Pa arranged this wedding when I was a kid," I blurt out. "She’s from a land far, far away. You never heard of it. Neither did I. You knew how mysterious my Pa was, right, Amara?" I widen my eyes, silently begging her to play along.

"Right! My family... we’re of very royal lineage. I knew Quill back when he was just a baby. Our parents were... um... good friends. Right, Quill?"

"Right, right," I nod furiously. What an awful lie. Probably the worst one in literary history, and yet here I am, proudly taking credit for it. Judging by Roxy’s face, she’s not buying a single word of it either.

"But..." she starts, her voice sharp, but then another voice cuts her off—and my whole body freezes.

"Mr. Quill, I’m relieved to see you in full health again," Anna says as she steps forward. "But this is not the time to be playing around with women. Quickly return to your bed for the inspection. As your doctor, I absolutely forbid any adultery before I confirm you’re healthy enough."

I completely forgot about her... but judging by the collective gasps from the crowd, everyone else clearly misunderstood what she just said.