CHAPTER 31: CHAPTER 31: DESPERATION

Eva lay on her side in the dark, the room lit only by the faint glow seeping through the blinds.

Her eyes were raw and swollen from hours of crying, but the tears hadn’t stopped. They burned as they welled up again, blurring the ceiling above her.

Losing her powers had been a wound she thought she could learn to live with, but today it cut deeper.

She kept replaying the moment in her head, the brute’s rampage through Grayson, the screams, the chaos.

She had been there when the monster first appeared.

If she still had her abilities, she could have fought. She could have stopped it before lives were lost. That guilt sat like a weight in her chest, pressing down with every breath.

She knew Jace had played a part in her losing her powers.

At first, she wanted to hate him for it. But each day, that hatred dulled.

The way he carried himself, the choices he made, even the reckless ones, made it harder to see him as the villain in her story. Still, the ache for what she had lost didn’t fade.

Her powers weren’t just strength or speed, they were a part of her identity, the core of who she was. Without them, she felt... smaller. Useless.

The desperation had been creeping in slowly, but tonight, it wrapped around her completely.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to reclaim her powers for the sake of others or simply because she couldn’t stand living without them.

Either way, she knew one thing. She couldn’t keep living like this.

She moved from the bed, her bare feet brushing against the cool floor. Her steps were still unsure, slow and hesitant, like she wasn’t certain if she truly wanted to reach the other side of the room.

She stopped at the door, the faint light from the living room leaking through the gap at the bottom.

Eva closed her eyes, gripping the doorframe lightly. She drew in a deep breath, trying to steady the tangle in her chest.

Part of her wanted to retreat, to curl back into bed and drown in the same thoughts that had been eating away at her all night. But another part. the smaller, stubborn part, pushed her forward.

Her hand hovered over the handle.

Jace was still perched on the counter when the door creaked open. He turned his head, surprised to see Eva stepping out.

Her head was bowed, her steps slow. Confusion flickered across his face as he slid off the counter and started toward her.

"Hey, didn’t think you’d still be up this late," he said.

She didn’t respond.

As she lifted her head, Jace caught sight of her swollen, red eyes. "Have you been crying? Hey—"

Before he could finish, Eva dropped to her knees. The sight made him stop in his tracks. "What are you doing? Stand up, are you okay?"

He stepped forward, crouching to take her by the shoulders and help her to her feet. She rose with him, then suddenly jumped forward, pressing her lips to his.

For a moment, Jace froze. He had to admit, the kiss caught him off guard. He let it linger for a few seconds before gently pushing her away.

Jace steadied her by the arms, still trying to process what had just happened. "Eva... what’s going on?" he asked, his tone firm but not harsh.

Her breathing was uneven, and she shook her head slightly, avoiding his eyes. "I just—" she paused, swallowing hard, "I can’t stand feeling this useless."

He frowned. "This isn’t the way to fix that."

She frowned, her voice tightening. "You don’t know that. You said if we repeated what we did, I might get them back."

"Yes, and it’s not a sure theory. You can’t just—"

She cut him off. "Just what? Have sex with you? We already did that, remember? And you took my powers."

"Look, I get it, but the first time was... well, look—"

Her eyes locked onto his, sharper now. "If it was you who lost something that made you who you are, something you built your life around, wouldn’t you do the same? Wouldn’t you grab any chance to get it back, no matter what it cost?"

Jace didn’t answer. The words hung between them, heavy and uncomfortably true. He looked away, his jaw tightening, because they both knew she wasn’t wrong.

Jace’s jaw stayed tight, but his voice was low. "Eva, I’m not doing this. I don’t want to feel like I’m using you."

She took a step closer, her gaze unwavering. "It’s not your choice to make. This is my body, my decision. If there’s even a small chance it’ll work, I’m taking it."

"That’s not how—" he began, but she cut him off.

"You don’t get to draw the line for me, Jace. You don’t know what it’s like to have everything that made you... you... ripped away. If you did, you’d understand why I’m standing here."

"You don’t get to draw the line for me, Jace. You don’t know what it’s like to have everything that made you... you... ripped away. If you did, you’d understand why I’m standing here."

Jace’s expression hardened instantly. His jaw clenched, and for a moment his eyes flickered with something sharp, anger, but buried beneath it was a flash of something older, rawer.

He took a step forward, his voice low but carrying a sudden edge. "Don’t lecture me about having something ripped away."

The words came out clipped, almost bitten off. His gaze locked on hers, unblinking.

He didn’t elaborate, didn’t explain, but the way his tone cut through the air left no doubt, this wasn’t a hypothetical for him. He knew the kind of loss that gutted you and left nothing behind.

Eva froze, caught off guard by the shift in his voice. For the first time in their conversation, she didn’t have an immediate comeback.

Jace exhaled slowly, shaking his head, as if reining himself back in. "Just... don’t," he said, his voice dropping again, calmer but still firm. "You have no idea."

The air between them was thick, the tension pulling taut, until his phone vibrated on the counter. Once. Twice. Then again.

He glanced at the screen. "Zin."

He answered without looking at Eva. "What?"

[Whoa, someone’s in a mood.] Zin’s voice carried that usual lazy drawl, but with a faint edge of amusement. [Bad time, or are you always this warm and cuddly?]

"Get to the point," Jace said flatly.

[Fine, fine. Just figured you’d want to know that a certain video hit the net about ten minutes ago. Guess who’s in it.]

Jace’s brow furrowed. "Spit it out."

[You. And you’re not exactly looking low-profile.] Zin’s tone sharpened. [Better pull it up before I send the link, because if I’m right, your quiet night just got burned alive.]

Jace’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening again.