b140 /b

    GIANNI

    Being yful doesn’te naturally to me.

    I imagine anyone who grew up the way I did would have the same problem. It has nothing to do with my choice of profession. Maintaining an image. None of that matters when I’m in my own backyard, sitting by my pool. This is where I get to be myself. Life didn’t give me many opportunities to kick back and enjoy myself. In my younger days, I was always working, hustling. Fighting to w my way to the top. There’s very little room for fun in that sort of life.

    And it goes without saying that my time with Amalia didn’t exactly lend itself toughter and good times.

    I want to try for Caterina’s sake, which is why I suggested wee out for a swim after announcing I was taking the rest of the day off. Sure, Roger looked at me like I had grown another head, but I didn’t expect him to understand.

    My little bird has been feeling depressed since she came in at the worst possible time a couple of days ago, and I’m trying like hell to make her feel better. Damn shame it doesn’t seem to be working. Rather than swim with me, she’sid out on a lounge chair with a book. Judging from the number of pages I’ve seen her turn since she picked it up, she might have it finished by New Year’s.

    “There isn’t going to be another day like this until next summer. Why don’t youe in the pool?” I ssh her a little and chuckle when she res at me. “The water’s the perfect temperature.”

    Her mouth is fixed into a tight frown as she sets down her book. “I don’t know.”

    “Caterina. You have to stop punishing yourself.”

    “It’s just that-”

    I hold up a finger, shaking my head. “I know what you’re going to say.”

    “Oh, you do?”

    Yes, because it’s the same thing she’s been saying for two days. She hates the feeling of lying to her father. “He wouldn’t want you to punish yourself like this.” There aren’t many positive things I can say about Charles Cole while keeping a straight face, but that’s one of them. I don’t doubt how much he loves his daughter. “And you look really hot in that new bathing suit.”

    She looks down at herself, as ufortable as I would expect from someone who still has no idea how beautiful they are. “It’s just a in old one–piece.”

    Maybe that’s what I like about it so much. It hints at everything beneath it without giving too much away. “You’re driving me crazy. So either get in this water now, or I’lle out there and throw you in. You’re too far away from me for me to remain sane.”

    There’s a lot of love in the way she shakes her head wearing the smile women wear when their men act like little boys. “Okay, okay. Whatever makes you happy.” It doesn’t make me happy to see her the way she is now, but at least she’s smiling as she gets up from her lounge chair and makes

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    her way down thedder and into the water.

    “Okay, you’re right. This feels incredible.” Once she’s halfway down thedder, she pushes away from it, floating on her back.

    “I told you. It would be a shame to waste this beautiful day sitting on the sidelines.” It’s enough to watch her float aroundzily for a short while, her face turned toward the sky, eyes closed. She’s more peaceful now than she’s been in days. I don’t want to break that, so I settle for paddling around, enjoying the simplicity of being together.

    “I’m sorry I’ve been such a downer.”

    “I would never call you that, and you don’t have to apologize.”

    “But nobody wants to be around the girl who can’t get her shit together.”

    “It just so happens I fell in love with a woman who feels things very deeply. I knew what I was getting into.” That’s not entirely true. There was no preparing myself for her, or for all the ways she would challenge me to be better than I was.

    She sighs before rolling onto her stomach and slowly swimming toward me. Her body cuts through the water like she was born into it. Once she reaches me, she takes hold of my shoulders, draping her arms over them and tucking her head in close to my neck. “I just wish I knew how to process everything. I can barely sleep. I’m thinking about it so often.”

    I know. We share a bed, and I’ve never been a particrly deep sleeper. However, she’s been tossing and turning, and when she does sleep, her night is full of dreams that only make the tossing and turning worse.

    Last night was the final straw for me when she whimpered a single word:Mommy.

    I couldn’t spend a day in my office, away from her. I might not be able to take her pain away, but I can make myself avable to her at the very least.

    “Let’s talk it through,” I suggest. She joins me at the side of the pool, both of us folding our arms on the concrete edge.

    “I’m not sure what there is to talk about. I just need to figure out some way to live with the truth.” She kicks slowly, sighing as she rests her chin on her arms. “How do I do that?”

    “Life is full of these moments. Trying to decide if it’s better to let things go or to possibly hurt someone you love with the truth.”

    “Like with Tatiana,” she murmurs, her lips setting in a tight line.

    “She’sing around.” She’s trying, anyway. “We have had dinner together the past three nights, and she seems a little better than she’s beentely, right?”

    “That’s true. She actually spoke to me and appeared happy when I asked her to be my maid of honor.”

    “She did.” For a moment, it looked like everything was back to normal. My daughter’s bubbly

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    personality leaked through, and there was a sparkle in her eyes. It gave me hope that things are finally beginning to turn around.

    “But if she hadn’t walked in on us talking with Roger, I wouldn’t have told her yet. Is that normal?”

    Hitting me with the heavy questions today. “I know a little something about keeping things from the people I love most, because I know it’s better for them in the end. That’s a burden. It’s one I wish you didn’t have to carry.

    “Nobody ever said life would be easy all the time, right?”

    But that’s all I want. To make her life as easy as possible. She’s a lot smarter than I am when ites to this. More realistic. “You don’t have to tell Charles the specifics. He never has to know about Ken if you think it would be better for him not to.”

    “I can’t do that to him. I don’t know if he could handle it.”

    “Still, he can still know he was right. You can give him closure, or whatever you think he needs.”

    “And you would be okay with that?”

    “This doesn’t have anything to do with me. I would like him to know I didn’t have anything to do with your mother, but that’s as far as it goes. Even then, I’ve lived long enough with him hating me so I’m sure I could continue on the same way.”

    “If anything, it would make things better. He would be able to trust you more.”

    “Well, I would hope so.” Nevertheless, I’m not going to hold my breath.

    “I wish he could understand how normal our lives are.” Then she smirks, looking around, taking in the pool and patio. “Maybe not normal. More like a lot nicer than normal.”

    “You mean, he probably imagines me sitting on a throne made from the skulls of my enemies?” “Something like that,” she says with a sigh. “He still has too many crazy ideas.‘

    “Why don’t you invite him over for dinner?” The words are hardly out of my mouth before I have to ask myself what the hell I’m thinking.Charles?Sitting down at my table, in my house? If anyone’s going to thaw the cold war between us, somebody has to make the first move. Besides, I wouldn’t mind looking like the bigger man.

    Her eyelids flutter for a second before she swallows hard. “Did I hear that right?”

    “I think you did.” I grin.

    “Do you honestly want Dad toe over here for dinner?”

    “Yes. I do.” I don’t, but I will do it for her sake.

    b“/bIs it going to be like aGodfathersort of situation? Are you going to shoot him halfway through his veal parm?”

    “I think you’ve watched too many movies, babe.” bI /bcan only shake my head when she doesn’t

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    return my smile. “Do you honestly think I would do something like that? That’s a straightforward question. Why would you marry me if you thought I was capable of shooting your father at the dinner table right in front of you?”

    She arches an eyebrow. “I haven’t married you yet.

    “You know what I mean.” I can’t go another moment without reaching for her. Taking hold of her waist, I pull her close. Right away, all interest in any conversation flies out the window thanks to her enticing body and its curves which fit so well against me. “I love you. You do know that, right?”

    “I do.”

    “I want you to have everything you need to be happy. Your father means a lot to you. I would never want your rtionship with him to suffer because of me. Invite him for dinner, maybe have a talk with him. Let’s show him there are no hard feelings and that I want him to be part of our baby’s

    life.”

    “Thank you.” Her eyes start to well up with tears, and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me. b“/bI can’t tell you how much it means to me to hear you say that.b” /bIf that’s the case, it will be worth putting up with the sanctimonious prick for a couple of hours–anything, so long as my little bird has what she needs.

    “Perhaps I can make something,” she suggests, pulling back with excitement in her eyes. Something he likes.”

    (

    Yes, that’s exactly what my life needs—more time in front of a stove. Keeping my happy expression in ce is bing more of a challenge. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

    She can barely stifle a giggle–and soon, she stops trying. “You’ll crack a tooth if you don’t stop grinding your teeth together. I love you.”

    The woman can see right through me. If I didn’t trust her the way I do, it would be damn terrifying. Her legs wrap around my waist, drawing a surprised noise from me. “I love you too, now be careful there,” I murmur when my dick instantly responds to the contact. “You know what happens when you get him started. No matter where we are or who’s watching.”

    “You’re right, you’re right.” Yet when she tries to disentangle us, she meets resistance in the form of my arms wound around her back.

    “Did it sound like I wasining?”