335 – No Tamsins Club - I Want To Lay the Very Best! - NovelsTime

I Want To Lay the Very Best!

335 – No Tamsins Club

Author: Premier
updatedAt: 2025-09-17

Soft Moves had such a terrible name. Brandy knew it was because they were Moves that affected minds instead of anything physical, but the name still gave the impression they were gentle things that couldn't hold a candle to the power of Flame Charge, Hurricane, or the always-useful Electroweb. It was a common mistake for new Trainers to underestimate them because they weren't flashy and didn't feature in films nearly as much as the more visually impressive Hard Moves. A nice heavy butt slap was just so much more visually appealing than some mind-melting trick. 

But now Brandy was in the thick of it. Monique's Alluring Voice showed what a good Soft Move could really do. Even with Brandy and Maple planning for it and having a Poison Type nearby to counteract its effect, it was still impressive to watch a whole host of Pokémon look at Monique with adoring eyes, quietly swaying on their feet as they listened to her golden voice. Monique clearly loved the attention, flicking smoldering glares left and right and walking with a genuinely astounding sway to her hips as she homed in on Maple. Brandy might have enough poison in her veins to look away, but she didn't because the Milotic was damn good-looking. Her endless waves of red hair curled around her body and framed her curves like they were designed for the task. The Milotic reputation as total heartthrobs held up to reality; Brandy would not have minded being pressed down onto the ship's planks by that woman one bit.

"Can't believe so many of ours are here," Tamsin said as she picked her way through all the tentacled Pokémon surrounding Maple, carefully clearing a path for Monique. She froze up when she stepped on the tip of one of the Grappleoct's tentacles, gulping as she watched the yellow-masked woman slowly turn her head to glare at Tamsin with a bright blue-eyed stare.  

"Hey there, Sasha," Tamsin said slowly, the short dark skinned woman squaring up for a fight; her white hair shimmered and then extended out into a long sweep of hair that went all the way past Tamsin's bubble butt, the end swelling into a massive white balled fist. "Isn't Monique's voice pretty? You don't want to throw hands with me, do you?"

The Fighting Type octopus moved so fast that it startled Brandy. One moment she was glaring, and then she practically shimmered as she moved to throw one perfect punch, slamming it right into Tamsin's stomach. With a wet slap, the Pyukumuku's whole body distended, the punch stretching her body out like a sheet of rubber wrapping her around the Grappleoct's fist. 

"Oh, we're going?" the Tentacruel beside her said, tipping up a hat that looked like the kind rice farmers wore on hot days, except this one was colored blue and had some big red gems studded into it. She'd been hiding her face under it, probably because she had the most sadistic grin. Her long grey hair worked much like Nibbles, hair one moment and tentacle the next, except hers were thin and incredibly numerous, with a few flashing blue strands buried amongst them that looked like they had an edge. "Finally! I hate waiting."

"Tamsin, you good?" Monique called, briefly breaking the sing-song tone of her Alluring Voice. 

"Yeah," Tamsin wheezed, "I got this babe."

Sparky took a step as her head cleared, but Monique picked the tone back up, and the bug fell back into slack-jawed admiration, swaying on the balls of her feet happily as she bobbed her head along to Monique's gentle cadence. 

Brandy looked to Maple, but she had her fingers crossed. A pre-arranged sign between them both. Wait to spring the trap. Maple was going to use her tentacled friends to find out what tricks these two had up their sleeves. Brandy had to trust Maple's judgment there; she hadn't had the chance to interact with them; she would know their quirks better. 

The Grapploct, Tamsin, had called her Sasha, but she wasn't content with slugging Tamsin. She pumped her tentacle to shake the Pyukumuku off right into the waiting tendrils of the Tentacruel. Tamsin's hair was hand-stretched to touch the ground, and the moment it had firm a grip, she swung around her own hair like a tetherball, sailing right past the waiting tentacles. She even landed with an elegant little flip, her hair forming a crescent as it followed her body. 

"Tenty! Sasha! You're really going to pick on little old me?" Tamsin said, spreading her arms as her white hair cascaded up into the air, the hand on the end wagging its finger. "Is there no honor among tentacles?"

"Tamsin is being forgetful." Sasha rumbled with grave seriousness. She stood up straight, her tentacles raised and ready to strike the Grapploct was an imposing figure. She was shaped like a carrot, her broad shoulders big enough to comfortably sit a girl on each one. She probably had done that before; she had the feverish gym rat figure that got softer ladies all excited to be hoisted up. "You know the rules. If it's got fingers, it's not a tentacle."

"Wow," Tamsin held her hands over her heart. "I can't believe you do this to me. Bertha! You'd let me into the club, right?"

They all looked to the Octillery, still zoned out, listening to Monique's song. 

"I'm taking that as a yes."

"Only one thing you'll be taking, Tamsin," the Tentacruel chuckled. "Long overdue."

"We're not letting her take anything," Sasha growled. "We're fighting her."

"Not what I meant at all, Sasha," the Tentacruel waved her hat at the Grappleoct, who narrowed her brow in meatheaded confusion, "Don't worry, let's wrap this one up, and I'll show you what I meant."

The pair of them circled Tamsin, which was their first mistake. If Brandy had led them, she'd have called for them to wake up the Octillery first. It'd only take a moment and further increase their advantage, but the Tentacruel seemed cocky, and the Grappleoct was just eager to fight. They both went in on Tamsin together, tentacles splayed out as they gripped, wrapped, and coiled in a mad flurry. They stretched her out like taffy, her whole body stretching and then springing back into shape with the snap of a rubber band. 

"I'm first!" the Tentacruel said, "You pin, I'll pound."

"I pin real good."

"You do! Come on, muscles, show me what you got."

After a bit of stretching and squeezing as they readjusted Tamsin's body, both of them stopped, looking down at her with heads tilted.

Tamsin didn't look so good. Her eyes were sewn on crosses, and her white hair had turned into one long length that flopped in Sasha's hand when she raised it. 

"I think I punched her so hard she turned into a plush doll?"

"Sasha ... no. Just no." the Tentacruel pinched her nose, and a massive downpour of water cascaded from the sky and drenched her from head to toe. Her hair flattened under the torrent, and thick purple liquid leached out of it and spread out in a pool across the deck. 

"Tents? You're not a plushy, too, right?"

Sasha gave her a poke. She was real still, but she'd gone slackjawed, tilting her head to listen to Monique's song. 

"Bam! Soaked," Tamsin said, popping up from behind the Tentacruel and jumping to flick her nose. It briefly shook her out of her daze, "Hey, now you're not all Poison pilled; say something nice about Sasha."

"Something nice?" the Tentacruel's eyes rolled as she fought to focus her thoughts. She took a deep breath and wrung out her hair in her hands. "I wish I could fold a woman like Sasha can."

"Ooh, that excites you, does it?"

"She can grind in on them until they're a bubbling mess. I always push to keep up, but she makes it look effortless." the Tentacruel said, nodding slowly. "I'm lucky to have such a powerful friend."

"Wow!" Tamsin said triumphantly. "Hear that, Sasha? She's got feelings for you. How does that make you feel?"

Sasha punched Tamsin so hard that she bounced across the deck. She would have gone over the edge if Monique hadn't caught her with a tail swing. 

"Fighting Type, darling." Monique said, "But I did like the idea. Those two do need to just make out already."

"I need a little bit of help." Tamsin groaned, squeaking as Sasha threw her Substitute-made plushy after her. "She hits like a freighter."

Brandy looked to Maple, who had fingers curled into a fist now. Time to spring the trap. They'd seen Tamsin could use Soak to turn their Pokémon into a pure Water type. She'd have probably gotten all the resistant Pokémon if she hadn't set Sasha off. Maple barked an order, and Tess dashed forward, sliding one of her long legs out. She swung her hip and let loose a flurry of toxic spikes at Monique.

"Nibbles, Venoshock Monique!" Brandy called, and Nibbles took off across the deck, fangs glistening with poison as she pounced the Milotic just as the Toxic Spikes hit. A perfect one-two combo, Monique was done for.

Or she should have been. But at the very last moment, her tail flicked up and slapped Tamsin into the way of the spikes with a gleeful squeal. Pincushioned with them, she squealed even louder when Nibbles bit into her tummy and amped the Toxic Spikes effect up to a fever pitch. It was all so quick. They must have some kind of switch-out move, which would work perfectly with Tamsin's Substitute so she could duck out of the big hits.

So why hadn't she?

"Fuuuck," Tamsin blew out a massive plume of purple smoke. "That's the stuff. Feel better already."

They'd just healed her? Oh, she had Purify as well! Their poison was basically useless here. Tamsin could just turn them into healing potions. They'd not only gotten their poison weakness covered but also turned it into a strength!

These two were going to be really annoying to fight. Brandy could just tell.

Novel