CHAPTER 279: WORRY

It was a vital time for Irene to prove herself to the knighthood.

Even though mostly only apprentices remained in the Duke’s Tower, she felt she ought to present herself as someone who deserved to be in the position that she was in.

Despite that, she couldn’t entirely erase the thoughts of her grandmother even though her father insisted that she didn’t need to go home and that he would tell her if things took a turn.

However, it didn’t take away the fact that she felt awful at what the letter said. Her father was visiting her grandmother every single day, only to return to his wife and son before the sun set. He was dividing his time, working tirelessly to make sure both his mother and his wife were happy. What trouble it was to be married, she thought. But if her parents never married then she wouldn’t exist.

As Irene pored over a book, she realized she wasn’t focused at all as she snapped it closed and decided to put it back on the shelf.

Her green eyes traveled across a library she hardly recognized. Once comfortable couches had been thrown out because the goblins locked in the library had totally thrashed the place. Books on lower shelves had suffered or been damaged. Many shelves were overturned when they finally got back into the space.

It was somewhat a relief that things looked bare and unlike they were before. If it was too recognizable, she would probably notice all the people who were no longer there.

At least winter always tended to be lonely anyway. People moved slow and practices were still canceled at times. Unlike most of the other knights during winter, Irene still tried to get out and practice with the apprentices so her skills would never dull.

Felix would do the same when he could, but he was spending a lot of his time familiarizing himself with the Duke’s Tower and surrounding areas. Even though he had lived there practically his entire life, he was far less serious before. There were many things he used to not pay attention to.

This was their normal. At least winter normal.

Once things thawed out, Irene and Felix would both be tasked in figuring out how to organize a knighthood in the patrol of the valleys and duchy once the snow had melted and monster movement likely would rise again.

The one room in the Duke’s Tower that the two of them used despite the lack of duke was the study.

Irene and Felix sat at the couches next to the fireplace. They were of the few things that hadn’t been entirely obliterated when the tower was sieged.

"How do you imagine the next wave of apprentices will take to a nocturnal schedule?" Felix wondered. "I felt we didn’t do to badly."

"We didn’t do badly, but we never stopped complaining," Irene admitted with a faint smile. "Leif always mocked me whenever I would loudly yawn."

She felt fleeting guilt. Did he know she was a girl then?

At times, his last words plagued her, but those days it was easier to compartmentalize the grief and continue on as if it wasn’t still an open wound.

"No matter," Felix shrugged. "He was probably doing the same, just more quietly."

Felix smirked lightly and continued with the stack of papers he had gathered in his hands. They were a rough plan of what the following spring and summer would look like for them as long as there weren’t any more emergencies.

Fortunately, they would have more knights then. Things would feel less bleak in this case.

Continuing the point they were speaking about before, Irene relented, "I trust your plans, Felix. You’ve thought them through far more than any other second in command I’ve seen... Including my father."

There was a pang at the thought of her family at all. She wondered if her father always felt this way, constantly divided between the knighthood and those residing in the north central region.

No time to dwell while the second in command was speaking. She straightened out her mind.

"These are his instructions," Felix admitted. "I am merely following the groundwork he has already put in place. I have large shoes to fill."

"I’m sure he would be happy to know that people still listen to him," Irene admitted. "When we were visiting last time, he seemed all too happy to be needed by the knighthood in some small way. Although I realized quickly he wished we had asked him to slay monsters rather than help us send letters."

"Speaking of, have you heard more from Stanley?" Felix asked. "His letters were consistent for a time, only to stop."

"Nothing else," Irene explained. "Only that he promises that he will come when Polona stops being so interesting."

Felix ran a hand through his hair in slight frustration. Mages worked at their own pace.

"If he’s certain he will be here for peak monster season, I won’t pressure him," the second in command decided, seeming to speak more to himself than about the mage considering it was taking self-control not to bother him and demand more. "He’s lucky we’re in the dormant season and haven’t seen monsters since we were in the east."

"For now we don’t need to worry, we only need to prepare," Irene responded more decisively. "Will you be staying here for a while? I ought to eat soon so that I can go into the armory with the apprentices."

"Yes, go ahead," Felix responded.

Irene left, thinking nothing else of it.

Since Felix already ate his supper, he was going to keep reading letters and creating more strategies for the future.

Thinking no one would bother him, he was surprised when one of the maids came in with a letter a couple of hours later.

"It’s directly addressed to you, sir," she explained as she handed it off.

Felix’s eyebrows lowered and he thanked the maid. Pushing everything off to the side, he opened the letter and went through its contents quickly.

Seeing that it was from the Litharion family crest and it was in Arthur’s handwriting, he thought it was merely going to be Irene’s correct prediction that her father wanted to be part of the knighthood still and see action. However, what he saw was far different from expected.

Before him were the words of a man worried for his daughter and asking Felix, who was close to her, if she had been keeping up with her work or if his letter about her grandmother being ill caused her to be stressed out.

It was all news to Felix.

Since it was late in the evening, he went down to the only place he expected Irene to be and quickly found the girl in the armory by herself. It seemed that everyone else had already cleared out while she remained.

She was cleaning weapons that weren’t necessarily her responsibility and Felix realized he had probably been missing a few signs since he had been so swept up with managing the knights and deciding their future.

As he watched her sit at a bench and clean, he saw a small, thoughtful frown on her face.

"You’re not going to leave anything for the apprentices to do," Felix gently joked as he walked in, finally making his presence known.

"Ah..." Irene realized he was correct. "I haven’t been sleeping until late recently and figured I could be more productive rather than sitting around."

"Something keeping you up?" he asked her, knowing well about being plagued by things that stressed someone out.

Irene finally looked away from the weapon and saw genuine concern on the second in command’s face. He was regarding her a bit differently than he did before and she was worried for a new reason.

"Where is this coming from?" she wondered. "You stay up late as well. We both went through the same things."

Felix held out the letter he had been sent and Irene stood to meet him. She recognized her father’s handwriting instantly.

Normally she wouldn’t take someone else’s letter, but seeing that the contents were likely about her, she pulled it from his hand and went through it quickly.

There was a supportive beam next to her and she leaned into it as she read, becoming more stressed about her father’s words. She wasn’t sure if she should be relieved he was so worried for her or annoyed that he was imposing in such a way.

"I’m not a child who needs to be looked after," she insisted as she handed the letter back to Felix. "It isn’t as if worry is going to affect my ability to work. Besides, what can I do?"

"You could go and be with your family," Felix suggested. "Traveling in winter isn’t an issue for you. After all, we all recall when you left to see your family in the dead of winter a few years ago."

His kind words were entwined with gentle teasing.

"I can’t leave the knighthood while it seems to have just reformed," she insisted, brushing off the idea of seeing her grandmother, regardless of what state she was in. "That would be selfish of me. I only just got back."

"It wouldn’t be selfish," Felix assured her. "You have been by my side for each bit of planning and strategizing. Your influence is in each one of my plans just as much as my own. We have plenty of knights who will be returning when the snow melts and before the plains flood. If you need to go now, you ought to. I would hate for you to live with regrets because of the knighthood."

Rather than responding verbally, Irene could only hug her friend.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I will be back as quickly as I can."