CHAPTER 219: WRITING AND RE-WRITING

Felix sat in his room, poking his bottom lip with his pen, as he stared at the empty sheet of paper in front of him. He was about to write a letter to Remi, asking him to stop Jared’s curse temporarily...

But what should he even write? He didn’t even know where to start!

In theory, it was all simple. He was making a trade: a temporary antidote for Jared’s curse in exchange for Felix’s blood. There wasn’t much explanation needed, since Remi was the one who had cast the curse. Not to mention, he was regularly sneaking into Felix’s room, so he might be aware of what was going on in the pack, at least of some of it.

It should be easy. A short note to leave somewhere visible, briefly explaining the transaction Felix wanted to make.

However, when he tried to put his thoughts in words, nothing sounded quite right.

[Hi Remi. I know you’ve been breaking in...]

No. That wasn’t right. Felix crumpled the paper, and tossed it aside.

[Hi Remi. I know you’ve been visiting my room recently...]

No. That wasn’t it either. Although it was better than the previous version... Why was he even mentioning it? Unless he was going to discuss it, or at least tell Remi what he thought about his ’visits’, then there was no point in mentioning it at all. The fact that he was going to write the letter and Remi would read it was enough for now.

He tossed the letter aside, and grabbed a new piece of paper.

[Hi Remi. Can you give me the antidote...]

Felix paused. Wasn’t that too casual? Considering their situation, perhaps Felix should be a bit more formal?

[Hello, Remi. I’ve been wondering whether you could possibly be willing...]

...Wasn’t that going too far in the other direction?

[Hi Remi. Jared Thorne is visiting the Bloodmoon Pack, and I need...]

No.

[Hi Remi. As you may know...]

No.

[Hi Remi. I would like to make a deal...]

No.

[Hi Remi. I would like to buy...]

No.

[Hi...]

No!

Felix heaved a heavy sigh, dropping his pen on the table, and leaning back in his chair. The crumpled papers on the side of the desk, as well as on the floor next to it, were quickly piling up. No matter what he wrote, he was never satisfied with it. He was only wasting paper... Not his paper, but still.

He simply had no idea how to talk to Remi now. And the fact that it was A LETTER, when he had time to think about what to write, didn’t make it any easier. Quite the opposite, if they were to talk in person, he could just say it and get over it, while now, he was constantly changing his words... Even though he was only talking about the transaction he wanted to make, not anything complex like plans for the future or feelings.

Besides, the transaction was straightforward: antidote in exchange for blood, but... How exactly was Felix supposed to give Remi his blood? Cut his wrist and pour it into a jar? Felix was no medicine expert, but even he knew that it would be unsanitary. Then what, have his blood drawn by a professional? The Bloodmoon Pack seemed to have their own doctors and equipment, so it shouldn’t be difficult to arrange... But how was he supposed to explain it? He still hadn’t told anything about Remi’s curse, and saying that his own blood was somehow special didn’t seem right either.

Other than that, the only other option was for Remi to take the blood himself. Either when Felix was asleep, as he had used to do, or by meeting Felix. However, the former option made Felix feel uncomfortable, and as for the latter... He still didn’t feel ready to face the fox.

Felix stared blankly at the ceiling for a while. Then, all of a sudden, he abruptly leaned over the desk again, grabbed the pen, and quickly scribbled a few words.

[Hi. I need a temporary antidote to the curse you have cast on Jared Thorne. In exchange, I will offer you my blood. We can arrange a meeting at night in my room for you to draw the blood.]

He quickly folded the paper, wrote, [To Remi] on the top, and left it in the middle of the coffee table, so that it would be easy to spot the next time the fox sneaked into his room. After that, he grabbed Vivi, and went out, so that he wouldn’t be tempted to change it again.

Comfortable or not, what had to be done had to be done. He wouldn’t get anywhere by constantly avoiding his problems.

The letter was still there when he came back in the evening. Still untouched. Although it was just a folded piece of paper, to Felix, it was like intense reflector light, stinging his eyes, and impossible not to notice. Like a pebble in a shoe, it kept annoying him no matter what he did...

Even as he lay down to sleep, it was still bothering him. Should he add something more? Perhaps an explanation why exactly he needed it? Or just generally make it sound nicer...

Wait, did he even write ’please’?

He tossed his quilt away, about to jump out of bed...

But in the end, he stopped himself. If he went to change the note again, he would probably end up rewriting it multiple times, just like earlier. Besides, although he was making a request, there was no need for him to be too polite to Remi, when the fox had been stealing his blood and lying to him for so long!

Felix nodded to himself, reaffirming his decision, and curled up under the quilt again.

There really was no need to overthink it. Worst case scenario, Remi would just ignore his request, and Felix wouldn’t get an antidote. He would just have to go on a trip then, while Einar and Kade handled the negotiations with Jared.

It’s not like his presence was actually needed. After all, it was the negotiation between Jared and the Bloodmoon Pack, and he was just the subject of the negotiations...