CHAPTER 277: QUEST OF THE IMPOSSIBLE ( 277 )

"Oi, Hazuki! Left—your left!" Ridan shouted from above, circling like a frantic drone.

"Ugh! I’m trying!!" Hazuki growled, lunging clumsily through tall grass.

Tiny footprints zipped across the dirt as two small Kruko—squirrel-sized lizard-rat hybrids with leafy tails—dashed around him in maddening zigzags.

"Don’t kill it! This is a capture quest! You just need two alive, small Kruko!"

"Yeah?! Then you come down here and try catching these nimble little gremlins!" Hazuki snapped as he stumbled forward, nearly tripping over a rock.

One Kruko squeaked and darted between his legs. The other scurried up a boulder and stuck out its tongue mockingly.

"That one! Now! Jump!"

Hazuki leapt with full force—

WHIFF! The Kruko sidestepped with inhuman agility, flipping midair before vanishing into the bush.

"Damn it!!" Hazuki slammed his palm into the ground.

"They’re too fast! Are they on caffeine or something!?"

"Heh~ I did say this was a tricky one." Ridan grinned smugly.

"This is why you read the quest info properly."

"You possessed me and took the quest!"

"Let me show you how it’s done!" Ridan declared smugly.

Hazuki threw up his hands.

"Fine! Go ahead, show me, Master Kruko Catcher!"

With a gleeful grin, Ridan dove straight into Hazuki’s body.

Spirit Link—Activated.

Hazuki’s posture straightened, his eyes glowing faintly as Ridan took control.

"Open your eyes wide, Hazuki! THIS—"

He lifted one hand dramatically.

"—is how you catch these little gremlins."

"Activate: Vines Binding!"

The ground shimmered. In an instant, green tendrils shot out in all directions—wrapping around the Kruko mid-dash and pinning them gently but firmly to the earth.

Wriggle. Squeak. Surrender.

Several Kruko trapped. Still alive. Still squirming.

Ridan released the spell and floated free again, arms crossed smugly.

"See? Easy."

Hazuki, back in control, looked at the captured monsters... then at Ridan.

"Easy my ass."

He pointed a finger.

"Only because you can use magic! Unlike me, who has to run around like a headless chicken!"

Ridan shrugged.

"Hey, teamwork makes the dream work. You’re the legs, I’m the brain."

"You’re the pain, that’s what you are."

"Now if I release this one... where do I even put it?" Hazuki asked, scratching his head while eyeing the wriggling Kruko.

Ridan floated down with a deadpan stare.

"Hah? Why do you need to release it? Just grab it with the binding still intact and shove it into your big leather side bag."

Hazuki blinked.

"Wait. That works?"

"Yes! You’ve got elemental vines, dummy—not barbed wire."

Ridan crossed his arms.

"How dumb are you? This is like... capture quest 101."

Hazuki sighed.

"Then what about the other Kuu—uh, Kruko—still bound?"

"You choose two first, then I’ll release the rest." Ridan replied smoothly.

Hazuki glanced at the bundle of twitching tails and narrowed eyes.

"Alright. That one... and that one."

He pointed to two of the least aggressive-looking Kruko.

"Good." Ridan nodded.

With a small wave, the excess vines dissolved, and the remaining Kruko bolted into the tall grass with panicked squeaks.

Hazuki gently slipped the captured ones into his side bag, sealing it tight.

"Now what next?" Hazuki asked, dusting off his hands.

Ridan spun midair and narrowed his eyes.

"Hah? You ask me? I saw you secretly take that herb gathering quest, Hazuki!"

"Err..." Hazuki looked away, pretending to inspect his boots.

"I don’t even know where you put your brain sometimes. Why’d you take a quest meant for kids?!" Ridan barked, hands on his puffed-up cloudy hips.

Hazuki straightened up with a proud look.

"Oi! It might be a kid’s quest in this world, but it’s fun for me, okay?!"

"Fun? Picking grass??"

"Yes!" Hazuki declared confidently.

"I don’t need to stab monsters 24/7 to feel like an adventurer. Besides, some of those herbs sell for decent coin!"

Ridan facepalmed dramatically.

"Wow... Hazuki the Heelsman, B+ rank adventurer... picking grass in the forest like a lost retiree."

"Better than being a floating mosquito with boobs obsession."

Ridan paused.

"Heh... jealous~ Hahaha!" Hazuki teased.

"Ugh! I hate you, Ridan."

"No~ you love me~ ehehehehe!" Ridan cackled while spinning above Hazuki’s head.

Hazuki groaned and gave up.

He reached into his pouch and pulled out the quest slip the receptionist had handed him earlier.

"Anyway... let’s see what I’m supposed to gather. Seven types of herbs."

He read aloud, holding the parchment.

"Icy Leaf... Fire Grun... Moonleaf... Streamflow... Hidun Grass... Chusi Flower... and... Lilith Blood?"

A pause.

"OI! ARE YOU STUPID, HAZUKI?!?!" Ridan exploded.

Hazuki flinched, nearly dropping the quest slip.

"W-what?!"

"All these are high-level herbs! Rare! Dangerous!" Ridan yelled, grabbing the paper and shaking it midair.

"What kind of blind squirrel signs up for this thinking it’s a basic herb gathering quest!?"

"Eh...?" Hazuki tilted his head, clearly still not understanding the gravity of the situation.

Ridan facepalmed with both cloudy hands.

"Not to mention—these herbs are scattered across different parts of the dwarven country! You know how far that is from this little town we’re staying in?!"

Hazuki blinked.

"And that Icy Leaf? That one only grows on the icy mountain to the northwest! You need full cold resistance gear or your ass will freeze off in minutes!!"

Hazuki stared at the paper again.

"...Oops."

"You know that Fire Grun?!" Ridan shrieked, flying in frantic circles.

"It’s a special herb that only grows on a mountain near a volcano! A real, active, lava-spewing volcano! And guess what? The monsters up there? Resistant to fire—and they breathe it, too!!"

Hazuki blinked, stunned.

"Oh... that sounds kinda dangerous."

"Kinda—KINDAAA?!?!" Ridan clutched his puffy head like he was about to explode.

"That’s not even the worst of it!! That Moonleaf? It only grows at the peak of the highest mountain in the entire dwarven country—and only blooms during a rare two-moon full night!"

Hazuki looked down at the paper again.

"...That sounds kind of pretty, actually."

"Shut it! You wanna die from altitude sickness while being chased by mountain wyverns?!"

"Oh... they didn’t mention that."

Ridan grabbed the paper and flapped it in Hazuki’s face.

"And that Streamflow herb? It grows on a patch of land barely bigger than your foot, between two rivers! You know what lives there?! CRO-KO-KILL! Big, fat, angry amphibians with death rolls and a bad attitude!"

Hazuki winced.

"I thought it was just water plants..."

"You thought wrong, dumbzuki!"

"And Hidun Grass? It’s like your old world’s truffle—but WORSE. Hidden underground, scattered, and you need a trained sniffer beast just to find one sprout. Rarest of the rare!"

Hazuki gulped.

"Okay, that... actually sounds hard."

"Oh, we’re not done yet! Chusi Flower? Only grows in a poison swamp. Touch it wrong, you melt! Breathe it wrong, you puke your organs!"

Hazuki took a step back.

"O-okay okay! I get it!"

"NO YOU DON’T! Last one! Lilith Blood! That’s not a plant, Hazuki—it’s a living carnivorous flower that grows near corrupted mana zones. If it opens its petals, you’re already dead."

A beat of silence.

Then Hazuki, meekly:

"...So what you’re saying is... this isn’t a beginner herb quest?"

Ridan exploded.

"YOU THINK?!?!?!"

( End Of Chapter )