CHAPTER 199: [199] THE UNBREACHABLE SPACE

Cold bit into Calypso’s skin, yanking her from empty darkness. Her eyes fluttered open to the tent’s canvas ceiling, mind momentarily adrift. The space beside her held only the hollow impression of Xavier’s body—the blankets still molded to his form but devoid of his heat.

She pushed herself upright, brushing silver locks from her face with fingers that trembled slightly. Dawn hadn’t yet broken—darkness still cloaked the world outside, though the eastern horizon would soon betray the first hints of morning. A divine being shouldn’t require sleep, yet her mortal vessel demanded it—another humiliating reminder of her current limitations.

Something whispered wrongness across her senses. The air felt... off—colder than even Frostfall should permit. Xavier’s absence pulled at her awareness, not through their soul bond but through the simple, mortal emptiness of the space he should occupy.

Calypso slid her feet into fur-lined boots and wrapped a thick cloak around her shoulders, the fabric heavy against her divine skin. With fingers stiff from cold, she pushed aside the tent flap and stepped into the pre-dawn darkness.

Frost had claimed every inch of their campsite overnight, painting the ground in pristine white and transforming the surrounding pines into intricate crystalline sculptures. Their breath should have formed clouds in such bitter cold, yet the air surrounding the dying campfire remained strangely, unnaturally clear.

And there they were.

Xavier and Ashley sat together on a fallen log before the glowing embers. They weren’t speaking. They weren’t touching. They simply... existed, side by side in perfect, complete stillness. The air surrounding them remained mysteriously undisturbed by the biting cold that permeated the rest of the camp.

Calypso had witnessed Xavier with Naomi—that had been fire, passion, predictable mortal hunger that she understood even as it pierced her heart. She had felt their entanglement through the soul bond, experienced every sensation as if it were her own. That type of connection made sense to her divine mind.

This was fundamentally different.

The space Xavier and Ashley occupied seemed to exist apart from reality itself, a perfect bubble of stillness. Their silence wasn’t awkward or laden with tension—it was complete, intentional, almost sacred. They had discovered something profound in each other’s mere presence, requiring absolutely nothing else.

Calypso took one hesitant step forward, then froze in place. She couldn’t bring herself to shatter whatever spell had formed between them. For all her divine power, for all the cosmic forces at her command, she found herself utterly incapable of entering that quiet, sacred space they had created together.

A sensation crystallized within her chest—cold and jagged, like an icicle driving straight through her divine heart. This wasn’t mere jealousy as she understood the concept. This was deeper, older, more primal than any emotion she’d felt in her thousands of years.

This was absolute exclusion.

As the feeling crested, frost rippled outward from her feet, creeping across the ground in intricate, angry patterns. The temperature plummeted further. Nearby, Margaret’s tent stiffened as ice crawled up its sides in delicate fractals.

Ashley noticed first. Her golden-veined eyes shifted from the fire to Calypso, narrowing slightly. She murmured something to Xavier, who turned.

His expression when he saw Calypso wasn’t guilt—that might have been easier to bear. Instead, his face showed simple recognition, as if returning from a distant journey to find her waiting at the threshold of reality.

"Calypso." He stood, brushing pine needles from his clothes with casual grace that felt like a dagger between her ribs. "You’re up early."

She didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. The words crystallized in her throat, sharp-edged and dangerous.

Ashley rose as well, her golden fractures pulsing like a heartbeat beneath her skin. "I’ll wake Margaret and Naomi. We should get moving if we want to reach the border today." She walked away, leaving them alone in the frost-kissed clearing.

Xavier approached Calypso, concern etching lines into his perfect face. "Hey. You okay? You look—"

"I’m fine." Calypso turned sharply, retreating into their tent like a wounded animal.

Xavier followed, ducking through the flap. "You don’t seem fine. And it’s suddenly freezing out there. Did something happen?"

The tent felt suffocating now, too confined for the blizzard building inside her divine core. Calypso crossed her arms, creating a physical barrier between them when what she really wanted was to tear down everything keeping them apart.

"What was that?" Her voice emerged with unnatural calm, like the stillness before an avalanche.

Xavier’s brow furrowed. "What was what? We were just getting some air."

"No." The temperature in the tent plummeted several degrees, their breath forming clouds that mingled between them. "That silence. That... stillness." She stepped closer, pink eyes gleaming with ancient power in the dim light. "You don’t have that with me. You don’t have that with Naomi. That is something reserved only for her."

Understanding dawned on Xavier’s face. "Calypso, it’s not what you think."

"No? Then tell me what it is." She couldn’t keep the edge from her voice. "Explain to me why you look more at peace sitting in silence with her than you ever have with me."

Xavier ran a hand through his hair, searching for words. "It’s not better or worse, it’s just... different."

"Different how?"

He hesitated. "When I’m near Ashley, the King’s Gaze goes quiet. The parasite in my head can’t reach me when I’m in her... I guess you could call it her field."

Calypso stared at him, processing this new information. "Her fractures create a dead zone for the mark." It wasn’t a question.

"Yes. And apparently, I do something similar for her. When she’s near me, your bond with her becomes muted. She gets a break from feeling everything you feel."

She sat on their bedroll, the anger leaving her as quickly as it had come, replaced by something heavier, more painful.

"So you’re each other’s sanctuary," she said softly.

Xavier knelt before her, taking her hands. "It’s not romantic, Calypso. It’s survival. You know what it’s like to have someone else’s presence in your head all the time. How exhausting that becomes."

"I created that bond," Calypso whispered. "I tied my soul to hers to save her life, and now—"

"And now she needs space from it sometimes. Just like I need space from the King’s Gaze." Xavier squeezed her hands. "It doesn’t diminish what I feel for you. What we have."

Calypso pulled her hands away. "Doesn’t it? You find peace with her that you can’t find with me. How am I supposed to feel about that?"

"It’s not about you—"

"Of course it is!" Ice crackled along the tent’s canvas. "I’m the goddess who bound our souls together. I’m the divine being whose essence flows through both of you. And I’m the one locked out of this... this sanctuary you’ve created." Her voice broke on the last word.

Xavier was silent for a moment, watching her face. "You’re jealous."

"Gods don’t get jealous," Calypso snapped reflexively.

His eyes held hers. "You told me once that gods feel everything mortals do, just... bigger. Deeper."

Calypso looked away. "This isn’t about sharing your body with Naomi. I understand mortal needs. I’ve watched humans for centuries—your brief lives, your physical hungers." She pressed a hand to her chest. "This is different. This hurts differently."

"Because it’s spiritual, not physical," Xavier said quietly.

"Yes." The admission cost her. "I don’t fear losing you to her body. I fear losing you to her... quiet."

Outside, voices rose as the camp stirred to life. Margaret called something about breakfast. Naomi answered, her tone clipped.

"You said yourself that when you’re with her, you feel like yourself again. The version of you before all this." Calypso’s fingers twisted in her lap, delicate movements betraying divine anxiety. The silver threads of her hair caught the dim light as she lowered her gaze. "You’ve never said that about being with me."

Xavier was quiet for a long moment. The silence stretched between them like a living thing, filled with unspoken fears and ancient longing. Outside, the wind whispered secrets against canvas.

"Because with you, I don’t need to be the version of me from before," he finally said, voice soft but resolute. "With you, I’m becoming something better." He took her hand again, his fingers warm against her perpetually cool skin. "Ashley gives me silence. You give me purpose."

Calypso wanted to believe him. Wanted it so badly that the desire ached in her borrowed bones.

"I never imagined I could be jealous of a mortal," she admitted. "Even one as unique as Ashley."

"If it helps, she’s not entirely mortal anymore. Not since you saved her."

"It doesn’t help." Calypso leaned her head against his shoulder.

Xavier’s arm slipped around her waist. "Without you, there would be no bond at all. Ashley would be dead, and I’d still be fighting the King’s Gaze alone."

A small comfort, but comfort nonetheless. Calypso closed her eyes, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

"We should join the others," she said eventually. "We have a long day ahead."

Xavier nodded but didn’t move. "Are we okay?"

Calypso considered the question. Could a goddess and a mortal ever truly be "okay" when bound together by cosmic forces neither fully understood?

"We’re figuring it out," she said finally.