Chapter 86 – A Crow’s Hesitation

    [Ava POV]No?v(el)B\\jnn

    “What am I doing?” I mumbled to myself as I sank down onto a bench, “I was just trying to...”

    ...

    What was I trying to do?

    Help her? Distract her?

    ...

    Was it just too much?

    My mind was brought back to all the times I had complained at Mom for being too overprotective or worrying about all the little things too much. But that was only for a brief moment; I didn’t have the luxury to sit and reminisce.

    I knew that I needed to do something, but I didn’t know what that something was.

    When I saw her running away, I wanted to chase her, but my legs simply refused to move. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I caught up to her... so I didn’t...

    “I’m supposed to be helping her, keeping her safe... Isn’t that what I was doing?”

    I know that she doesn’t like to talk to people.

    I’ve seen what happens when she pushes herself too far, and she had already done so much just to ask Elenia a question... I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep herself together once Cattleya came into the picture.

    So I needed to distract her, to make her forget all about it.

    So what did I do wrong?

    Did I do something wrong?

    I just wanted to do something she wanted. Since we got here, all I’ve done is drag her around. I know I wouldn’t like that, so all I did was try to fix that.

    To give her the choice.

    More and more people were starting to stare at me as I tried desperately to sort through my thoughts. It was quickly getting to a point where I was uncomfortable, so I just got up and started walking again, going in the same direction I saw Kierra going, almost hoping to see her waiting for me the moment I turned a corner.

    What do I do now?

    Should I go after her? Should I just give her some time alone?

    But she’s not really alone. She has that necklace.

    ...

    What would I even do once I got to her? Ask her about what she said?

    All she said was that she doesn’t know... but do I even know the answer?

    Do I really know her? I thought we had gotten closer; I mean, we’re sisters, for Gods’ sake. I must know her.

    Who else would if not me?

    As I was walking, I noticed a dark alley and decided to turn into it in an attempt to avoid anyone else’s gaze. It was hard enough trying to figure this all out as it was; I didn’t need the added pressure of all these random people openly judging me as I did it.

    They’re the ones who don’t know anything.

    They don’t know what she’s like. They don’t know what she’s been through.

    But I do.

    ...

    Don’t I?

    Right at that moment, someone else stepped into the alley. A hooded person, the same height as me. I knew who it was right away, and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with them.

    “But I told you to tell me?” She tilted her head a little before bringing out her pouch of coins again, “Do I need to pay you to tell me? How much do you want?”

    ...

    I actually chuckled a little at that remark of hers. She comes off as so incredibly confident yet also seems strangely unaware at times. Unlike Kierra, she’s a hard person to read. If this was in any other circumstance, I might have found talking to her quite entertaining.

    “Y’know what?” I knew that what I was about to do probably wasn’t a good idea, but it was better than continuing to do nothing, if only barely, “If you really want to get involved in all this, you can stay here and listen to me thinking out loud, but if you get nothing out of it please just leave us alone.”

    “So how much?” She asked, shaking the pouch so that the coins clattered together.

    “Nothing,” I slumped down against the wall, “Just sit and listen if you really want to. You’ve already made it more than clear that I can’t force you to leave.”

    She paused for a moment as if she needed some time to understand what I had said. However, as soon as she finally seemed to register that I didn’t want any money, she put the pouch of coins away and joined me in sitting against the wall.

    “My sister, she’s... shy,” I started to speak, “She doesn’t really like talking to people, especially those she doesn’t know. But that isn’t a new thing; she’s been that way for as long as I’ve known her.”

    But she has gotten much better.

    “Something kinda similar actually happened about two years ago. The two of us were out shopping on something of a sister date. At least... that’s how I remember it, but that’s a little secret,” I let out a faint laugh as I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do so again as I continued with the story, “We got a little unlucky that day, and I ended up bumping into a knight on the street. He wasn’t particularly upset by it, or if he was, I don’t really remember, but what I do remember is that he was big... My sister was... a little shocked by the whole ordeal.”

    “Why?” Cattleya asked.

    “No questions. You’re just listening to me think out loud. It’s not a conversation, just me trying to organise my thoughts,” I watched her slink back a bit before continuing to speak, “She didn’t take it too well and started to panic. I took her right home after that, but she... wanted some time to herself. I was just worried about that sort of thing happening again after you suddenly showed up in the middle of our lunch and started proclaiming that you knew all these things about us.”

    She didn’t respond this time.

    “I just wanted to help her perk up afterwards so she didn’t think about it too much. She tends to overthink these kinds of things, after all. But, well, you saw how that went,” I said, “It’s not that I don’t want to give her her space when she needs it... It’s just that the last time this happened... after she spent that time alone, she suddenly tried to-”

    The words got stuck in my throat as I realised what I was saying.

    She tried to run away.

    Wait! Is that what’s happening now?!

    But where would she even go?! She doesn’t know this place?!

    What if she gets herself into trouble?!

    I jumped up in a hurry, “I-I...”

    What am I supposed to do?!

    I know she roughly went this way, but that’s it!

    I don’t know where she is! I can’t let it happen again!

    “You!” I looked down at Cattleya, “You said you were following us due to that... that... mana something...”

    “Mana deficit?”

    “Yes, that!” I was already shouting at her, “You said that it was something to do with my sister, not me?”

    “The kitsune? Yes, it-,” she replied as she stood up.

    “Can you find her?!” I interrupted, not needing to hear anything more.

    “Maybe, but-”

    “No buts,” I grabbed her shoulders, “Just yes or no. Can you find my sister?!”

    She seemed completely taken aback by what I was doing, but it didn’t matter; this was far more important than anything that could be going through her mind.

    “Y-Yes,” She eventually replied.

    “Okay, then go,” I spun her around and started to walk her forwards, “Lead the way. I need to find her!”

    “A-Alright!” She shouted back.