Konoha: The Thirty-Year-Old Uchiha Can’t Be Bothered
Chapter 139: “Uchiha Muzan” Now in Pre-Production
In Uchiha Tajima's office—
At the moment, the two people inside had completely switched roles. Gin was seated at Tajima's desk, writing furiously, while the one who should be there—Tajima himself—was sprawled comfortably across the couch below.
"So, this is the reason you've got me doing your work?"
Listening to Tajima's long-winded tale, Gin lifted his head from the mountain of paperwork, his dull dead-fish eyes filled with the exhaustion of life. He stared blankly at his uncle, who was relaxing with his eyes closed.
"You should try to understand your old uncle a bit, y'know. My vision's blurry, and Madara's gone all EMO. That means all the clan's matters now fall on the shoulders of the one I trust the most—yours."
Tajima, with his usual calm and shameless tone, showed no guilt whatsoever in making Gin work off the books.
"I didn't read much, but even I know that's a load of crap."
Rolling his eyes, Gin asked with curiosity,
"Anyway, how did you escape in the end?"
He didn't really buy Tajima's tale, but a story needed a conclusion. No matter how trashy the plot, a sudden end with no closure was always worse.
"Escape? Watch your wording. I walked away with full dignity while those two brats looked on in awe."
Tajima suddenly sat up from the couch, bloodshot eyes wide open as he insisted on his heroic exit—though inside he was secretly thankful. His Mangekyō was running out of steam back then. Thankfully, his Susanoo Shield Reflect move had stunned the boys long enough for him to walk away with pride… without them seeing the blood about to burst from his eyes.
"Really?" |ω)?
"Of course! Don't you know how strong your uncle is?"
Tajima defended himself with conviction.
"Fine, let's pretend you won… What is this, the Konoha Destruction Plan?"
"…What plan?"
"Ah—slipped my tongue."
Gin awkwardly brushed it off, but his eyes sparkled with scheming thoughts.
If Uncle truly did activate his giant mecha and slap around the early versions of the First and Second Hokage… then wouldn't the Uchiha clan rise high in the future Hidden Leaf?
All he'd have to do is hype this up with a little creative exaggeration, and boom—his dear cousin becomes Konoha's top dog. That would mean a long, smooth life of luxury and unchecked power for him!
"Hehehe~"
Caught up in this vision of a glorious future, Gin couldn't help but chuckle to himself.
"What's with the creepy laugh?"
Tajima squinted suspiciously at his unfocused nephew.
"Nothing! I've received professional training. I don't laugh unless I absolutely can't hold it in."
Gin put on a righteous face, though his heart was scheming harder than ever.
"Phew, finally done!"
With a relieved sigh, Gin slapped Tajima's signature on the last document titled "Application for Postpartum Care Training for Sows."
Stretching his limbs, he hopped up from the seat, ready to flee this cursed desk. Being clan leader sucked—nothing but chickenshit chores.
"So fast? I'll definitely have you back next time."
Tajima, pleasantly surprised at how quickly Gin finished his workload, returned to his chair with a satisfied smile.
"Well, if that's all, I'm heading out."
Gin was in a rush to leave before Tajima noticed the sketchy paperwork.
"Wait a sec…"
Tajima suddenly raised a hand to stop him, his relaxed face turning serious.
"There's something else…"
Though he said it like a big deal, when the words reached his lips, Tajima hesitated.
"Just spit it all out already. Don't squeeze it out like toothpaste."
Gin groaned, crossing his arms.
"C'mon, even if you're the clan head, labor laws still apply!"
"It's about Madara. There's been a… situation."
Tajima sighed, worry flashing across his pale face.
"What? What could possibly happen to my dear cousin?"
Gin blinked in confusion.
Konoha hadn't even been founded yet—was Madara really about to check out early?
"He got defeated by that Senju kid. His spirit's broken. If this keeps up, he might never recover."
Tajima shook his head. Madara was supposed to be his heir—if this depression continued, he'd become the clan's laughingstock.
"Tch. His will broke that easily?"
Gin rolled his eyes. Still, he understood. With Hashirama's Mokuton (Wood Release) power coming online, Madara had been left completely outmatched. A beating like that wasn't easy to digest.
"Exactly. That's why I need you to help him get his confidence back."
Tajima's eyes blazed with conviction, unnerving Gin.
"Wait—why me? What could I possibly do to help him bounce back?"
"No—you can."
Tajima looked deeply into Gin's soul before turning and pulling out a thick book. He handed it to Gin, who took it instinctively and immediately regretted it. The book was heavy. He glanced at the cover.
"Mangekyō Activation Guide"
Author: Uchiha Yao
???
This damned old man again? He was supposed to be gone for good!
"…Tch. What's the point of this?"
Flipping through the dictionary-thick book, Gin skimmed the densely written pages. But its message boiled down to two simple characters:
[Sacrifice]
"If we're talking about Madara's strongest bonds—besides Izuna, it's you. Unless they've secretly got someone else stashed away…"
Tajima's tone turned chilling. Gin's stomach dropped.
Oh no… this old man's planning to sacrifice me to awaken Madara's eyes!
"You've watched him grow up—don't you want to keep him from turning into a complete loser?"
Hold on—why does that sound so damn ominous?
"Listen, I don't want my cousin to become a shut-in NEET either, but come on, my emotional purity is definitely not enough. Let Izuna handle it!"
"I have other plans for Izuna."
"…What plans?"
"He'll be watching too. Maybe he'll awaken as well."
(ФωФ)
Gin stared at Tajima with a blank expression, the same dead-eyed look as Usada Pekora. He couldn't stop himself from grumbling,
"No wonder you're the clan head. You really know how to optimize your resources…"
"Please, Gin. I'm begging you!"
Tajima suddenly stood and bowed 90°, a classic theatrical gesture that caught Gin completely off guard.
"I mean… I wouldn't mind sacrificing myself for the clan, but I've got—"
Gin rubbed his curly hair, eyes fixed pitifully on Tajima as he tried appealing to the last traces of familial warmth.
"—"
Tajima, unfazed, just started whistling casually.
"…and I've got kids, and Mitsuko, and the student I just accepted. They'd be devastated if I died!"
Tears and snot flowed freely now as Gin poured his heart out in dramatic fashion, a performance that could win awards.
"Wait, wait! Don't cry yet. Are we having a misunderstanding?"
Seeing Gin reach his freshly tailored pants with a snot-covered hand, Tajima recoiled in horror. He hurriedly stepped in to stop him.
It was all just a prank—Gin had questioned his glorious battle story, so he decided to mess with him. He hadn't expected things to go this far and risk losing his pants in the process.
"Huh? Didn't you say you were going to sacrifice me?!"
Gin stopped pretending and blew up, pointing at Tajima furiously.
"It's not like I want you to actually die. You're a shinobi. Don't you know how to fake your death?"
Tajima rolled his eyes. Of course he wasn't going to really sacrifice Gin. The plan was to find someone close to Madara and Izuna, then fake their death to trigger emotional trauma and eye awakening.
Besides, if he really killed Gin, Uchiha Mitsuko would raise hell, and the clan couldn't afford a civil war.
"Fake death? Now that's a plan."
Gin instantly brightened, giving a thumbs up. He proudly announced that he'd once won third place in his elementary school drama competition—he could totally sell this act.
"So, what's the script?"
Tajima had been mulling this over for days. As Uchiha's top tactician, he could command armies, but writing a compelling script? That was uncharted territory.
A good performance needs a great script, after all.
"This concerns the future of the clan. No third party can know, so…"
Tajima spoke righteously, giving Gin a deeply trusting look.
"Stop right there."
Gin raised both arms in an "X" across his chest and growled through clenched teeth.
"So what you're saying is… I'm the director, the screenwriter, the actor, the VFX team, and even post-production?!"
"My nephew is truly a genius!"
Tajima smiled proudly, raising his hand as if to say "hear me out."
"But don't worry—I'll be the producer and supervisor. I'll support you through the whole thing. Just do your thing."
The look on his face practically screamed: "I'm working hard too, don't exaggerate."
That made Gin's blood boil.
If you're gonna be ruthless, then don't blame me for being heartless!
"Uchiha Muzan" coming soon—stay tuned!
(End of Chapter)
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