Konoha: The Thirty-Year-Old Uchiha Can’t Be Bothered
Chapter 293 - 293 – I Once Beat Him Until He Cried and Ran Away Bare-Assed
Morning – Konoha's Village Gate
Uchiha Chiri was saying goodbye to her mother before departure. Lady Yōmi, graceful and elegant, fussed over her daughter's pack with deep worry on her pretty face.
"Chiri, remember—don't eat food from strangers while you're away~"
She stuffed pre-prepared rations into the backpack while giving her final reminders.
"Mother, I'm not a child anymore!"
Because of the Yin Seal, Chiri's appearance had remained that of a teenager, often making others forget her true age.
"You'll always be Mama-chan's little girl until you take that next step~"
BAM!
A pink fist slammed down on Lady Yōmi's head.
"You talk too much, old hag!"
A blush crossed Chiri's usually cold face as she threatened her mother with icy words.
"Uuu~ Chiri's become a bad child!" Yōmi whimpered dramatically.
Before the bickering could continue, a frail voice drifted up behind them.
"Apologies… we're late. We had to stop by the Hokage's office."
It was Uchiha Gin, looking pale and drained, stumbling forward with gray exhaustion in his step. Behind him strode Uchiha Hikari, bright-eyed, glowing with health.
The contrast said everything.
"Gin-sensei, are you okay?"
"Gin-san, you should take care of yourself," Yōmi added knowingly, a smile tugging at her lips.
Gin forced himself upright, brushing it off. "Had a nightmare. A ghost sat on my chest all night. Couldn't sleep. Nothing serious."
Behind him, Hikari rolled her eyes.
"Alright then! Uchiha Squad—move out!" Gin raised his hand grandly.
Thankfully, there weren't many villagers around this early, or else Chiri and Hikari would've pretended not to know him.
Lady Yōmi turned to leave when a boy's voice rang out behind her.
"Auntie Yōmi! Has Sister Chiri already left?"
It was Senju Itama, geared up with a pack on his back, looking ready for a long journey.
"Oh my, Itama, were you here to see them off? You just missed them, they went that way~" Yōmi pointed kindly.
"That damned curly-haired baboon! Going on a trip without me!"
Itama cursed and darted off in hot pursuit.
Yōmi watched him go, covering her mouth with a knowing smile. "Ara, ara~ It's going to be lively. I wonder if Chiri can handle it."
Dense Forest – En Route to the Land of Waterfalls
Leaping across the trees, Gin explained their mission to the two kunoichi.
"Our task: track the missing Seven-Tails in Takigakure territory. Confirm whether it's under a rogue ninja's control. If possible, capture it and bring it back to Konoha."
"That's all?"
Both Hikari and Chiri, who'd already clashed with bijū before, looked unimpressed.
"I know you're not worried about the beast. But we aren't the only ones looking for it. The other four Great Nations have sent squads."
"Oh? Who?" Hikari's eyes lit up at the mention of rivals.
"We don't know. The intel was vague, but rest assured—they won't be weaklings."
Gin's tone grew serious. "Once we arrive, follow my lead. Don't act rashly, understand?"
"Yes, Gin-san~" Hikari chimed.
"Understood, Gin-sensei." Chiri nodded.
"You're so long-winded, curly-haired baboon. Just say fight or don't fight!"
"Good, good, you're all obed—" Gin froze mid-sentence, eyes bulging at the sound of an extra voice. "You little sh—why are you here?!"
Itama stood smugly with arms crossed, having caught up.
"You brat, this is a mission, not a field trip! Go home!" Gin grabbed his head and scrubbed hard, trying to grind the boy bald.
"Hey! Ow ow ow!" Itama broke free and hid behind Chiri, eyes wet.
"Gin-sensei, let her come," Chiri said softly. "She's never left the village."
"Don't worry," Hikari added, surprising him. "As long as she doesn't do anything stupid, she won't be a liability."
"I'm invincible now!" Itama declared proudly, punching the air.
Gin groaned but gave in. "Fine. Did you bring the pendant?"
"Yup! Right here!"
Seeing her carry the protective hourglass he'd given her, Gin relaxed. With that plus his Flying Thunder God mark on her, she'd be safe unless the Ōtsutsuki themselves appeared.
"Alright then… Uchiha Four-Man Squad, depart!"
Takigakure
The village was in chaos. After Kakuzu's slaughter of the upper ranks, rival elites squabbled for power. Arguments roared through the streets, though no one dared strike yet.
Elsewhere, a dark-skinned squad watched from the shadows. Gold and Silver Brothers.
"Brother, the beast isn't here," Silver Horn muttered after sensing.
"You're sure?" Gold Horn rumbled.
Silver's bestial eyes gleamed in the dark. "Certain."
"Then we move." Gold nodded. The cloud-nin melted into the night.
Moments later, another group entered: a band led by the bandaged Mist ninja, Wu.
"Who's your leader now?" Wu demanded coldly.
The Takigakure shinobi panicked, each pointing fingers at the others until two faked sudden injuries—bad backs, bad feet.
"…You then. Lead us to the Seven-Tails."
"Yes, sir!"
Elsewhere, Suna's team scoured the forests. Monk Shamon frowned at the lack of clues, resting beside a large sealing urn meant to trap the Seven-Tails.
"Keep searching. We must find it before the others."
Farther still, on the coast, Kirigakure's squad arrived. Hōzuki Gengetsu sniffed the air, sneering.
"I smell him. That bastard's here too."
"Gengetsu-sama, the Mizukage ordered—focus on the beast, not grudges."
"Tch. I know. Move out!" Gengetsu grinned darkly. This time, my Steam Imp won't fail.
Gin's squad made swift time, reaching the Land of Waterfalls by the next day.
"Whoa! Look at that waterfall! So big!" Itama's eyes sparkled as she tugged Gin's sleeve.
"Quiet. I'm checking the map." Gin tried to pull free but gave up.
"Shouldn't we start in Takigakure?" Hikari asked.
"Pointless. The place will be crawling with rival squads. We'll avoid that mess." Gin shook his head. "Hikari, try sensing the wedge you planted in the Seven-Tails."
Her eyes bled scarlet, Mangekyō whirling as oppressive chakra radiated. Itama shivered at the sheer force.
After a long silence, Hikari's eyes dimmed. "Sorry, Gin. I can't feel it."
"No problem. You tried." Gin patted her head gently. "We'll gather local intel instead."
The four set off toward the capital.
Meanwhile, in the city—
"Silver Horn, put away those cards. Don't lose control here."
"I'll restrain it, brother."
He tucked the glowing cards away, handing over the treasured Red Gourd and Seven-Star Sword.
"Don't push it, Silver. That thing shortens your life," Gold warned.
"If it means revenge, even my life is worth it," Silver answered coldly.
Suddenly—BAM!
A small figure barreled into Gold Horn's leg, knocking him flat on his ass.
"Big bro!" Silver cried out.
Gold blinked, stunned. "A brat…? Are you scamming me?!"
"You're so huge, yet one bump knocks you down. Either you're weak or you're pretending."
Rubbing her forehead, Itama glared up at him.
Gold's face twisted. "You little—!"
"Brother, wait! This kid has chakra," Silver cut in sharply.
Gold paused, baring teeth. "So not just some brat, huh? Still… I'll teach her a lesson—"
"Stop!"
A purple blur appeared, landing in front of Itama. Uchiha Chiri, eyes cold, first checked the girl's injuries, then straightened with relief.
"Boardman, are you alright?"
"I'm fine! This big oaf just wants to see my parents. What a moron!"
Chiri's gaze lifted toward the towering brothers—only to see their expressions shift.
"You're… Silver-san's disciple! Where is he? Where is Silver-san?!"
Gold and Silver's faces flushed with excitement, scrambling to fix their appearance, smoothing their clothes in panic.
"You… you two are those kids?!"
Recognition struck Chiri, memories from years ago resurfacing.
"That's right, it's us!" they said proudly.
Itama tugged her sleeve, confused. "Chiri, you know these two dumb giants?"
"Not just know…" Chiri's lips curved into the faintest smile. "That golden-haired one once lost to me. I beat him until he cried… and he ran away naked."
(End of Chapter)
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