CHAPTER 97: THE BEST THING TO DO

I passed the needle through the linen material, held tightly by the embroidery hoop. It’s been so long since I sewed, it wasn’t really my choice of dutiful activities to do.

I prefer reading, but since I can’t get my hands on a good book, this will do. Besides, it took my mind off things.

I was outside on the balcony, the cool air gave a pleasant feel to my body, and the view of the grand gardens for my eyes to relish.

"Your Grace?"

"Yes, Osha."

There was a moment of silence before she spoke. "It’s been two days."

Yes, two days. With nights plagued by dreams of snowy cliffs and soft lights in the sky. I pondered why I kept seeing the same thing when I slept.

"And?" I replied, absent-mindedly.

Osha seemed to hesitate again before she spoke. "Maybe you should go back to the monarch’s chambers."

My hand paused in mid-air, but I resumed after a few seconds. "Whatever do you mean, Osha? This is my chambers. This is where I shall stay from now on."

"I know, but—"

"I’m quite comfortable here, more room, more space. No manly scent of leather, fresh earth, and sound of deep voices."

"The monarch and you were already so close, and now..."

I stopped sewing, placing the material on my lap and lifting my gaze.

Osha tensed at my expression, but I did not wish to condemn.

"Why are you so anxious?"

"Y-You’ve been scowling a lot and it’s scary." She pursed her lips.

I huffed. "I’m a human, it’s not like I’m going to eat you or anything."

"I-I know, but I can tell you’re hurt, and so many things weigh on your mind. You stare out into the distance for so long, and I get worried."

Poor Osha. My stress was rubbing off on her. But I never could hide my expressions and the way I feel. I was always so loud about it.

I looked at the birds perched on the balustrade. "You’re right, I am hurt, with a heavy heart, clouded head, and most of all? I’m a stupid, stupid girl."

"Your Grace! You’re nothing of the sort! This is all my fault because if I had asked questions about the gift, then none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t be apart from the monarch."

I dragged my gaze back to her, a smile curled on my lips as I shook my head. "No, my sweet Osha. None of this is your fault. It’s mine."

Her eyes got teary, so I took her hands.

"I’ve been so consumed by desire and being greedy that I forgot something I shouldn’t, or better yet, made a mistake."

"A mistake?"

"A mistake of falling in love with a daydream." I instinctively held her hand tighter.

"Your Grace, I don’t understand."

"I think I love him, Osha. Love the side that he has shown me at least," I said with a frown, disgusted with myself. "I realized that when I saw his real side."

"Your Grace—"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me, is your monarch a sweet, kind gentleman who is affectionate, and doting?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words hung.

I sighed, releasing her hand.

"But he acts in such a way towards you because he cares for you. He shows you that side, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t a part of him or fake."

"I know..." I murmured as I resumed sewing. "I chose only to see the daydream of him and nothing of the ruthless monarch I heard stories about, who instilled horror and dread into me."

"I understand, Your Grace," Osha uttered in a sad tone. "But do not hold this against him. I’m certain that side he shows you is only for you because of how strongly he feels towards you. He loves you."

"I know nothing of love, Osha, and as it seems, I can’t love. I only loved the idea of him and not him."

"Don’t say that, Your Grace!"

"What’s best for Drevon is to stay away from me, whilst I don’t infect him with my inability to love." I pulled the thread far harder than I wanted, straining through it.

"Good luck staying away from an Alpha who’s obsessed with you."

"Ravyn!" Osha said, sitting up quickly. "I’m glad you’re here. Please talk some sense into Your Grace! She needs it."

"Osha!" I reprimanded.

"I’m afraid that will have to wait," Ravyn said, folding her arms. "The Dowager summons you."

~•~

When Ravyn told me that, I thought it was some kind of joke. But here I was, all dressed up and heading to the Dowager’s wing like it was any other day.

"You could have refused, you know? I’d have told the handmaid to fuck off," Ravyn said all too blatantly.

"That would have been rude."

"Right? The woman tried to kill you!"

"I know," I replied, grinding my teeth. "Why do you think the Dowager summoned me?"

"I don’t know, maybe to finish what she started?"

"I don’t think so. After the humiliation of being confined by her own son, she certainly would not want me to breathe in her presence. I’m dead to her already."

"Okay, clever princess. Why do you think she has summoned you then?"

I faced ahead as we got closer to the door. "That’s why I answered her summons. To find out."

"Is she always this daring?"

Osha nodded. "Yes, very." Then she whispered. "She went against Lady Sloane and brought the princess to her side, too."

"Impressive! Alpha must have swooned deeper."

"Shhh! Please refrain from speaking about the monarch, it’s already been a hard day for her."

"I’ll be careful," Ravyn whispered back.

Too late for that now.

I came to a halt, and the handmaid announced. "Your Majesty, the human—"

"You mean Royal Princess," Ravyn corrected. "Need I remind you who stands in your presence?"

Fear crossed the handmaid’s gaze. "T-The Royal Princess is here!"

"Let her in."

The door opened, and with a deep breath, I stepped through the door.

It was deja vu. But this time was different; the Dowager didn’t use her Alpha command to disparage me, but there was a pressure in the air, or maybe it was just me being nervous.

"Your Majesty," I curtseyed.

"Lady Ravyn Stormrend," The Dowager uttered, completely discounting me.

"Your Majesty," Ravyn bowed.

"And what are you doing here? In the castle? Word has it that after the war, you chose to return to your keep and live out your days drinking and fishing."