CHAPTER 36: EASY

You guys wouldn’t wanna sit through the same sloppy grind step-by-step again, right? Good, consider this mercy.

Lanz stumbled out of the Gate like he’d just crawled out of a cheap horror maze at a back-alley festival, Aged Blade Fragment dragging on the stone floor, his sock already sporting a fresh tear courtesy of one overeager fangwolf.

He flicked the edge of the torn shirt with a sigh.

"Bro, out of all the monsters in this dumb forest, it’s always the f*cking spikedboars and fangwolves that ruin my drip. Well, at least it only took a couple of hours to clear this sh*t," he grumbled, poking at the little scrape on his shin like it personally offended him... well it did.

He could already picture Miku roasting him.

’How the hell did you came out of your room looking like you fought a bush and lost.’

He shook his leg out, tested his weight on it, then cracked his knuckles one by one just for dramatic effect. "Goblins? Easy, they literally gave up halfway. Vultures? Forgot they even existed until one faceplanted into a tree, so that was entertainment at least."

His lips curled up, half-annoyed, half-proud. "That hobgoblin, though... big bastard still made me sweat. Like, come on, man, read the room!!! I’m stronger now. You’re supposed to roll over and die for the montage, not put me in a chokehold for thirty f*cking seconds straight."

He turned and glanced back at the tall stone archway that was already fading out behind him. The glyphs pulsed a soft blue, like they were mocking him one last time for thinking this second run would be a total cakewalk.

"Anyway, round two done, and it was f*cking worth it." He huffed out a small laugh, scratching the back of his head. "Socks semi-intact, so I guess we can call that a W."

Lanz wiped the sweat off his brow and flicked his fingers to pop open the big shiny system window.

The blue glow flickered across his eyes, and he leaned in like he was about to read an exam grade he already knew he passed... which was unrealistic for him.

"Alright, what’s the profit... 212 EXP?!" He slapped his palm on the window, making the text wiggle like it was scared of him, they probably were. "Even halved, baby, that’s still good. Aura farming on these b*tches was worth it!"

The window gave a smug little ding! like a teacher clapping for a kid who spelled ’potato’ right.

[LEVEL UP — LEVEL 13 REACHED!]

[EXP: 64 / 130]

His brain short-circuited for half a second. He tilted his head back, mouth open like he’d just been hit by a bus made of confetti.

"HO-LY F*CKING S*HT!" he screeched, voice bouncing off the stone walls. "I didn’t even realize, bro, I was moving too fast in that gate. HAHAHAHAHA! I can’t believe that aura farming on those f*ckers got me to Level 13. Look at me! Look at mwwweeeeeee!"

He did a dumb spin, socks squeaking against the cold floor. "Fangwolves~~~ Spiked boars~~~ Hobgoblin~~~? Try harder next time, you XP vending machines."

He jabbed a finger at the stat box like he was calling out an old enemy. "Alright, break it down for the audience, what did Handsome-Man get?"

His eyes flicked from line to line, reading it out with that dramatic voice he only used when he was about to clown himself. "Level 11: plus ten stat points, obvious dub. Level 12: Skill Upgrade Token, big dub, massive even. Level 13..."

He squinted at the final line. "Plus ten stat points on one certain stat? Don’t mind if I f*cking do!"

He pumped his fist once, face scrunching up into a cutesy grin like a fake anime idol. "’I am actually loved by System-kwun~~~’" he squeaked out, pitchy on purpose.

Then he dropped the act, snorted, and clapped his hands together once, unfortunately.

"God, I need a camera crew following me around just to catch this genius live. I now have drip, and full charisma, b*tch!"

He dropped his eyes back to the window, grin still carved into his face like he’d just robbed the system blind. "Alright, System-kwun, you and me? We’re besties now. Keep the freebies coming."

His fingers flexed at his side as he skimmed through the rest, the math running like a rat in his head. "Alright... ten from hitting Level 11, plus the leftover three from the Eastern District Gate Challenge, then six more from leveling up to 12 and 13. That makes nineteen to burn."

He stared down the stat window floating in front of him, squinting at those neat little rows of numbers like they’d just personally mogged him. "Alright, big boy time. Let’s see where these babies are going."

He dragged the slider for STR up by two ticks first, muttering under his breath with a crooked grin. "Gotta get a little beefy, right? No more flinching every time a boar shoulder-checks me into a tree."

AGI came next, he leaned in close, tapping the plus sign like he was poking a bear through a cage. "+2 AGI. If a hobgoblin outruns me again, I swear to God, I’m uninstalling myself. Ain’t no way a dude named Zero should be losing a foot race to a big frog with a kitchen knife or axe, the axe is important."

Next up was VIT, and he actually winced, rubbing a bruise on his shin where the fangwolf had taken a swipe.

+2 VIT.

"I am begging for less bruises. Fewer band-aids, fewer lectures from the fam if they catch me limping around the apartment again. I’d like to look less like a crash test dummy in my own life."

He squinted at DEX like it was a riddle that might explode if he read it wrong. He gave the slider a firm push up by four points.

When INT popped up, Lanz couldn’t help the grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He pushed it up by four, his voice dropping into that mock-wise tone he used to tease Miku whenever she studied. "I still have plans for you, Mr. INT."

Finally, his finger hovered over WIS, the stat he liked to imagine did something profound — except he’d never actually felt it do a single damn thing. He let out a laugh, shoved all five leftover points in anyway, and flopped his arms down. "Please, System-kwun, make this do something or I’m starting a riot. If my brain doesn’t feel galaxy-sized by tomorrow, I’m gonna open a support ticket and demand a refund. We’ll call it a ’Wisdom Compensation Fund.’"

But of course, it didn’t respond.

"Rude"

He stepped back a little, crossing his arms as he gave the final stat sheet that proud, half-judgmental look, the same one his dad always gave the family fan whenever it actually worked.

[STR: 10]

[AGI: 10 (Affinity)]

[VIT: 5]

[DEX: 5]

[INT: 11]

[WIS: 5]

[Available Stat Points: 0]

[Derived Stat — MANA: 55 / 55]

His eyes lingered on WIS for a good few seconds, like he expected it to magically send him a pop quiz to prove it was doing something.

"Never adding onto that sh*t again. I don’t feel any smarter. I’m just dumb with extra numbers now. Peak evolution."

He jabbed a finger at the Skill Upgrade Token floating in the corner of his vision, rolling his eyes but wearing that cocky grin he always saved for the dumbest decisions. But this time, it wasn’t?!??!

"Alright, easy pick. Phantom Stride, Level 2. Mobility is king, and also, running away is a perfectly valid strategy if you do it with style... don’t @ me."

A little chime rang out, softer than he expected, and the system window flickered as the upgrade locked in place. Lanz just tilted his head back, wagging his finger at the white walls like it owed him sh*t. "Handsome-Man’s officially too slippery to catch now. Write that down, put it on my gravestone. Oh wait, I’m never dying HAHAHAHAHA— wait, was that a death flag?"

"Anyways~~~"

He rocked back on his heels, stretching his arms over his head until his shoulders popped in that tiny, satisfying way that made him feel like he’d done something productive.

He glanced at the now-empty available stat point counter with the kind of theatrical despair only he could pull off, letting his mouth twist into that half-sad, half-mocking frown that never lasted more than a few seconds.

"All available stat points, gone," he sighed, dragging the words out like he’d just watched his life savings get flushed down the drain. "Not even a single pity point left for emergencies. Eh, oh well."

With that, he flicked the system window shut, the blue glow snapping away like the universe itself was telling him to stop messing around and get moving.

He slapped a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing that itch of leftover adrenaline, then turned on his heel and strode for the exit, socks kissing the stone floor.

He didn’t even bother hiding the grin stretching across his face.

"One more week of school until summer vacation," he said under his breath, voice riding that spark of cocky hype already bubbling in his chest.

He cracked his knuckles once for good measure, smirk pulling wider. "Let’s f*cking go."

End of Chapter 36.

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ALT SYSTEM — USER PROFILE: ZERO

Level: 13

EXP: 64 / 130

Next Reward: +10 Stat Points to a chosen stat

Global System Tracking: DISABLED

World Rank Association: UNLINKED

Stats:

STR: 10 | AGI: 10 (Affinity) | VIT: 5 | DEX: 5 | INT: 11 | WIS: 5

[Available Stat Points: 0]

[Derived Stat — MANA: 55 / 55]

Skills:

[Crimson Slash Lv. 1]

[Phantom Stride Lv. 2] (Upgraded)

[Blade Control Lv.1]

[Parry Timing Lv.1]

[Reflex Sync Lv.1] (Passive Skill)

[Combat Awareness Lv.2] (Passive Skill)

[Skill Fusion Menu: Active]

[Dev Tree: Tier 0 Access Granted]

[Developer Node – Fusion Core Anchor: Active]

[Skill Slot Available — Unassigned]

Equipment:

Aged Blade Fragment (??? Rarity) (Bound)

Goblin Dagger

Spiked Boar Tusk Shard

Lightweight Chest Padding

Boots of Basic Mobility

Fingerless Gloves (Basic)

Starter Cloak: Faded Black

Training Ring (+1 VIT)