CHAPTER 325: CHAPTER 203: DON’T DIE, NEVER DIE, ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DIE

The sky was already very dark, and the crowd in the amusement park had decreased substantially.

Xia Pingzhou stood in the bustling crowd, looking up silently at the Ferris wheel in the night sky.

In the brightly lit cabin, a girl in a reddish-brown kimono sat alone by the window, gazing emptily at the city below.

He had to admit, Ayase Origami was really easy to find, given that in the entire amusement park, she was the only one sitting alone on the Ferris wheel, lost in thought.

From afar, the silhouettes in the other cabins were mostly couples, making it easy to spot her at a glance.

Who would come to an amusement park alone? People usually come with family or friends to avoid looking so pitiful.

But did she even understand such a notion? Growing up in such a family, probably no one ever brought her to an amusement park, not even once...

So she didn’t care or understand how others viewed her, thinking that even sitting alone on the Ferris wheel wasn’t strange.

Xia Pingzhou recalled that he might have been the first person to take her on the Ferris wheel. When she came here alone in her unhappiness, sitting quietly in the Ferris wheel cabin, was she perhaps thinking only about him?

He thought extensively, and amidst the "clink clank" sound, the huge Ferris wheel slowly turned, and the cabin with the kimono girl reached the pinnacle.

From Xia Pingzhou’s angle, he could no longer see her figure.

Visitors were chatting and laughing as they passed by, pulling Xia Pingzhou’s attention back.

He withdrew his gaze from the Ferris wheel, looked around, and moved towards the Ferris wheel operator.

Xia Pingzhou pondered for a moment and then looked up, asking him in English: "That girl in the kimono, how long has she been here?"

The operator had a typical British appearance, with flaxen hair neatly parted three-seven, and a freshly pressed white shirt peeking out from beneath his woolen uniform.

He turned his head to examine Xia Pingzhou curiously, then softly said, "That girl in the kimono, she’s been sitting on the Ferris wheel all day."

Xia Pingzhou was stunned.

"Sitting for the whole day?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes, all day long without even eating, finishing one ride only to line up again, staring blankly with her head down, no one knows what she’s thinking."

Saying this, the operator shook his head, sighing, "Maybe she’s heartbroken. I occasionally see heartbroken young girls doing this."

Xia Pingzhou was silent for a moment.

He could imagine how quiet she would be sitting in the Ferris wheel, perhaps not speaking a word all day, just silently gazing out the window.

Absentmindedly getting on the Ferris wheel, getting off absentmindedly, and then standing absentmindedly in line amidst couples all around, yet she was always alone, from day to dusk, until the view in her eyes gradually darkened, and the sunset took away all the light.

The operator stared at Xia Pingzhou, seemingly having discerned something, thus animatedly saying, "Young foreign fellow, aren’t you her ex-boyfriend?"

"No, we’re just friends."

"Here in the United Kingdom, we advocate gentlemanly spirit; you shouldn’t let a girl be alone in tears."

Xia Pingzhou ignored him, thinking, I’m not oblivious to your British ways, don’t use your gentleman spirit to fool me.

He found a public bench nearby to sit on, leaned back, and looked up at the swaying cabin, waiting for the Ferris wheel to touch the ground.

Not long after, the Ferris wheel returned to the ground, and the operator opened the cabin door, letting the pale girl out.

She looked up, glanced around, thought for a moment, and then walked back into the queue.

Most people in the queue were in pairs or groups, and she stood alone among them, wearing foreign attire, naturally attracting others’ attention. A child pointed at her, telling his mother she was beautiful, like a doll.

The kimono girl didn’t speak; amidst the lively voices around, she was indeed as quiet as a plain white doll. She looked at the boy who was pointing at her with his finger, and when she came back to herself, she suddenly found someone standing beside her.

She turned her head expressionlessly to see the person standing next to her and immediately froze.

Although Xia Pingzhou cut in line, no one reprimanded him. This wasn’t a solo ride, and the guests thought they were together, with the kimono girl simply reserving a spot for them.

Ayase Origami tilted her head, blankly meeting Xia Pingzhou’s gaze. She looked up and then down, understanding and clarity enveloping the world.

Neither spoke, just shuffled forward step-by-step until, after a while, they finally finished queuing and got on the Ferris wheel cabin.

The operator jogged over, closed the cabin door, and crouched outside the window, showing his head and giving Xia Pingzhou a thumbs-up with animated expression.

Xia Pingzhou turned his head, pretending not to see.

The Ferris wheel slowly started, the cabin clattering as it swayed up towards the night sky of London.

After a brief silence, the kimono girl sitting on the opposite side suddenly broke it by speaking:

"You mentioned you were looking for a girl with white hair."

"Yes."

"She’s your family."

"Yes."

"She’s very important, more than anyone else."

"That’s correct."

"Yesterday in the underground pub, there was a child with eyes very much like yours."

Xia Pingzhou was slightly stunned: "Very much like mine?"

The kimono girl nodded: "Yes, I mistook him for you at the time."

She paused: "It was as if...you were looking at me with disdain, telling me to stay away from you."

"What were you thinking? Though indeed, there was a girl with white hair beside him."

Xia Pingzhou lowered his gaze, continuing: "But...that girl is not the one I’m looking for."

Seeing the kimono girl sitting opposite in silence, he shifted his gaze to look outside the window.

Ji Minghuan thought, could I possibly say that was me? At that moment I really hated you, or rather, I hated everyone who might harm Kong Youling.

Even knowing you were worried about "Xia Pingzhou" at the time, confused, helpless, and anxious, you were thus trying to question me about Xia Pingzhou’s whereabouts.

But in truth, I didn’t care at all about what happened to Xia Pingzhou.

To me, he was just a broken game character, nothing in the world seemed cheaper than him to my eyes, everything about him was fake, fabricated out of thin air...

So, what’s the point of being good to him?

I am not Xia Pingzhou, I am Ji Minghuan, I am just Ji Minghuan, and can only be Ji Minghuan.

Only Kong Youling is by Ji Minghuan’s side; anyone who hurts her becomes my enemy.

So I really hated you then...

Truly...hated you, wishing I could kill you all.

If only you were simply a bad person, then I could use you recklessly, discarding you like a rag afterward, with no guilt whatsoever.

But you’re not...you are just a complete, ignorant fool.

But what else can I do? I’m just an ordinary person, why must I expect to take care of everyone’s feelings?

If you kill Jack the Ripper, you would definitely be very sad... But what else can I do? Who will come and teach me what to do?

Xia Pingzhou lowered his eyes, and the slight glimmer swayed in his dark pupils.

"Am I strange?" the kimono girl suddenly asked.

"People can be strange sometimes." Xia Pingzhou said softly, "I am too, often not understanding what I’m thinking."

"I don’t understand..." she shook her head, "Why do I see him as you? It always feels like there’s a heavy weight in my heart, and I can’t breathe. Everything feels so chaotic...is this ’sadness’?"

Xia Pingzhou was silent for a while.

He thought so too, this idiot doesn’t even know what sadness is. After all, growing up in such an environment could only lead to emotional closure, and eventually, she couldn’t even understand her own feelings.

He spoke: "If you don’t understand something, ask others. You’re so dumb; if you keep overthinking alone, you won’t figure it out even if you ride the Ferris wheel for another month."

"Then... do you hate me?" she asked softly.

"Are you very afraid that I hate you?"

Ayase Origami lowered her eyes, remained silent for a while, and then nodded.

"I don’t hate you." Xia Pingzhou shook his head, "Don’t worry, I never realized you were this foolish...A stranger child glanced at you, and you overthought so much. What if I really said I hated you, what would you do?"

The kimono girl shook her head, "I don’t know."

Xia Pingzhou thought for a moment, then changed positions and sat next to her.

He said, "As I said, you’re an idiot."

The kimono girl opened her mouth, wanting to retort but couldn’t find any words to say.

Just like a robot that suddenly short-circuits upon realizing a missing file while loading a program.

"The little cat... yawned."

In the end, she could only burst out with this familiar line.

"If you’re unhappy in the future, find someone to talk to. You’re too dumb to figure out anything...How can someone who doesn’t understand their own feelings understand others?"

"But you fainted."

"Don’t you have anyone else?"

"No."

"Yanmo Lin would probably want to kill you after hearing that."

"How do you know her name?"

"She just told me."

The kimono girl was taken aback, then looked up, her pale face subtly pouting. This seemed to be her first time making such a display akin to acting spoiled.

Xia Pingzhou was also momentarily stunned, not expecting to see such an expression on Ayase Origami. At this moment, she resembled a normal sixteen-year-old girl, rather than a doll with empty eyes.

Involuntarily, he raised his hand and pinched her round, chubby cheeks.

"Who taught you that expression?" he asked curiously.

"Kids on the street."

"I thought so."

"Rebelling." Ayase Origami looked at his hand, then met his eyes, allowing him to pinch her face.

"Even a cat would find it hard not to rebel after realizing its owner is an idiot."

"Do you hate me?"

"I don’t hate you."

"Please don’t hate me."

"I won’t hate you."

"Hmm... that’s good."

Ayase Origami looked as if she was finally at ease, lowered her eyes and closed them while leaning on his shoulder. The Ferris wheel swayed up to the highest point under the night sky.

Getting off the Ferris wheel, the two strolled in the dimly lit amusement park.

"I want that." Ayase Origami pointed at a cotton candy vendor in the distance and suddenly said.

To avoid being found by hackers, she didn’t bring her phone when she went out, and the only stack of cash she had was spent on the tickets.

"Do you like cotton candy?" Xia Pingzhou asked.

"Actually, not really... It’s too sweet." she said.

"Then why do you want me to buy it for you?"

The kimono girl shook her head, keeping her hands behind her back without speaking.

"Money." she said.

Xia Pingzhou took out a stack of cash from his pocket and handed it to her; it was his first time seeing the young lady ask him for money.

Ayase Origami put the money in the sleeve of her kimono, silently walked over, and bought two bunches of cotton candy.

She handed one bunch of cotton candy to Xia Pingzhou. They sat quietly on a public wooden bench, eating while looking up at the passing crowd.

Not far away, the carousel wobbled to happy music, casting flickering lights on their cheeks.

"Ayase Origami."

Suddenly hearing someone call her name in Japanese, she gave a slight start, looked up from the cotton candy, and turned her head, her dark eyes unwaveringly gazing at Xia Pingzhou.

"Ayase Origami, don’t die." Xia Pingzhou paused, "This is what you once said to me, so I’m returning those words as they are."

"The little cat mimicked its owner speaking." she said.

"Oh, let me change that." Xia Pingzhou thought for a moment and said, "Ayase Origami, don’t die, don’t you dare die, you can’t die."

The kimono girl stared at him for a long time, then nodded.

"Then let’s head back; it’s already late."

"Alright."

"Next time, don’t zone out alone outside."

"Then you shouldn’t drink alone either."

"Okay."