CHAPTER 234: NEW LIFE

"..." I spent the next few hours feeling a bit off, some kind of existential crisis along with the pain of knowing that Yui died because of me, ironically my tears generated plants where they fell.

So the room where I’m crying is full of grasses, flowers, and even a tree has grown, it seems that my tears now create life, and even stepping on the flowers they don’t die, in fact nothing happens to them.

It seems that my life-giving function prevents me from taking it away in any way, not that that’s a good thing.

"..." I also awakened some kind of strange new sense, as if I had eyes everywhere that have something alive, I can see everything and my brain can store and understand everything I see even if the information seems infinite.

I don’t know what happened to my body, but now it’s strange and does things I don’t like, of course thanks to that I also know that Sayuri is now here inside "my" house looking for me.

She probably felt that Yui disappeared, the servants here who used to serve Yui now serve me, and seeing their vision I see Sayuri scouring the house, she should be arriving here soon.

"I...shouldn’t look so bad..." I wipe my face with the sleeve of the dress, a dress that now that I’ve noticed is green and black, a mix that strangely looks good though a bit "short" with a more youthful vibe.

"..." I lie down on the grass that grew through my tears, it’s incredibly soft and strangely comfortable, it doesn’t even seem like it’s just a plant, I can also now feel the position of living things.

I don’t feel Sayuri using this, probably because she’s not a living thing, but I can feel the position of anything that’s alive, no matter how far that something is.

’If I want to escape...’ It’s easy, I can just disappear and show up anywhere where something alive is, escaping from Sayuri and responsibilities is easy, very easy even, but I don’t do it.

’I...should honor Yui’s place...’ I was trying my best to be better, of course some of the reasons were selfish, but without a doubt I tried to become a better person, now that Yui died because of my fault, running away would be the most horrible thing I could do.

"papers..." I feel papers, lots of papers, I also see papers accumulating in piles and more piles even though there is nothing in front of me for real, I think it’s my job, the papers have numbers of things that are being born at this very moment.

I should review this to avoid "collapse", now I understand, the information kind of just reaches my mind, I can imagine the universe as a glass sphere, if too many things fill it the sphere breaks.

It’s me who has to see if things are close to breaking, if the number of living things exceeds a certain limit I inform Sayuri that she should go kill and destroy things until it balances out again.

"Now Sayuri is my sister...what a strange thing..." I murmur considering the past, it’s bizarre to be her sister now, the concept of a sister for what I am now only arises in my mind, it seems that if I think about what something means the information just comes to my head.

For beings like what I am now, a sister is not something that was born from the same place, but something that complements each other, order and chaos are sisters because they both complement each other.

Life and death are also sisters because one complements the other, it’s kind of strange, because it means that our bond has nothing to do with blood or DNA, but with existential function.

’I’m like...a gear in a machine...’ I don’t know if I like it, but I can’t escape what I am now, just as I can’t forget the anger I feel both towards Nyzz who did this and towards Sayuri who was the one who started it all.

"..." I hear the sound of the door and look, seeing Sayuri, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her, her red eyes are no longer as frightening, in fact they seem tiny while her long black hair still highlights her beauty.

That oppressive aura she had before is now gone, or rather it has become bearable because now I’m no longer human.

"You...what did you do to my sister" She speaks with a voice full of hatred coming towards me, her hands grip so hard that they tremble and darken the grinding of her teeth.

"Do you really need to ask? I guess you know, I don’t need to explain what Nyzz did" I say with courage as she approaches, she crouches down grabbing me by the neck.

"Why this hatred? This is all your fault Sayuri" I say without caring about her lifting me by the neck, in fact it doesn’t hurt, it seems Nyzz told the truth, no one should be able to hurt me.

"Shut up you filthy thing I..." Sayuri begins to speak, but I slap her in the face, interrupting her, not that my slap hurt her, but the audacity of striking her makes her stop.

"Shut up you, Yui died because of your fault, you wretch, even if it was Nyzz, this would never have happened if you hadn’t put that damn curse on me."

"It was all your fault, you failure, because of your arrogance you killed your sister, you could have just punished me and ended it all but you decided to screw everyone just for selfishness."

"Was it fun to turn a man into a woman? Did you enjoy watching me die full of despair? And all those who died because of this, did you enjoy watching the worlds that ended because of your fault?"

"And Yui, did you like knowing that she disappeared because you were too petty to leave my punishment just between us two? You could have tortured me for all eternity, you could have just wiped me out, or anything like that, but you chose to play with things you shouldn’t have."

"You think you’re so great just because you’re strong, but without [life] your existence is worthless, you’re a complete useless person who had no power without Yui, I saw it, I’m seeing it and I can see how you treated Yui."

I don’t know where it comes from, I just know it happened. Maybe it’s what Yui did, Yui said she could see the present, past and future, apparently I can too.

"T-That’s not..." Sayuri tries to speak, but I interrupt her.

"That’s not what, Sayuri? Are you going to say you didn’t have Yui fix your problems? Are you going to say you didn’t come talk to her just to talk about your problems and fight with her if she didn’t support you!"

"You knew, you knew cursing me would cause problems, but you’re too selfish to care about anything beyond your own nose, you knew exactly that my existence could kill Yui someday, but you still made that curse."

"Now bear the costs, it’s no use coming to complain that Yui died, the fault is all yours, and don’t think I’ll be as complacent with you as Yui was, I know you can’t do anything to me anymore."

"I’m no longer afraid of you, I was wrong to have betrayed you and I know that very well, I learned from my mistake and tried to improve, but you seem to have learned nothing from the mistakes you made."

"You made more mistakes than I made in betraying you, so don’t come complaining about the consequences of what you did...and be careful what you’re going to do, because unlike Yui I won’t be fixing the shit you do."

"Now get out, you’re not welcome here, this...this is my house, and I want you out."

"But..."

"BUT NOTHING! GET OUT!" I interrupt her, I don’t want to hear her talk and try to make excuses just to later blame me.

"You’re not welcome in my residence...older sister" When I call her older sister something seems to finally break in her, she has tears in her eyes, but I don’t care.

"Get out of here, and if you’re smart you’ll stop skipping the meetings that happen" Yui always solved anything, but I won’t do Sayuri’s work for her, she doesn’t deserve my effort.

I don’t care if she hates me or will never forgive me for betraying her, I know she can’t hurt me anymore, and now all I have from her is anger, not only for having cursed me disproportionately, but for being the indirect cause of Yui’s death.

"..." I look at Sayuri who bites her lips and quickly leaves the room, it seems she’s too spoiled to admit she’s made mistakes even more than I have.

"...Damn...why do I have to do this..." I kneel on the grass exhausted from the argument, I knew that if I let Sayuri talk she would just curse me, blame me and maybe even do something stupid.

So I could only attack first by shoving the truth in her face, now I’m exhausted from this meaningless fight, I cried for Yui for too long, but work doesn’t stop coming.

’Now I know why Yui’s avatar always said she worked too much...’ Every second it seems leaves multiply, a lot of new things are born all the time.

"Ah yes...there’s still that meeting...it’s going to happen soon..." I’m forced to be the hostess, what a pain really.

’I wonder if I can do what Yui did...’ Fortunately, everything I need to do comes to my mind, I end up using the powers unintentionally as something automatic.