CHAPTER 238: FUTURE

"Miss Nyarlisse, here’s your order!" I say quickly, bringing a cake to Nyarlisse-sama.

"Oh little one, are you new here?" Nyarlisse-sama asks, and I nod.

"Yes, I started three days ago!" I confirm, telling her when I started, getting slightly distracted by Nyarlisse-sama’s beautiful dress.

"I see, so you’re new here, have you met my wife?" She asks, and I shake my head.

"No, I’ve only heard other servants talking about her, but I’ve never seen her in person," I say. I’ve heard that Nyarlisse-sama married a woman named Shizune about 3 million years ago, and she represents the literal concept of life.

But I’m not sure how it happened, in fact, no servant knows, as apparently everyone from that time is already dead.

"Well, she must be in the garden working at this hour, would you like to come with me? I’m going to deliver this cake to her, as she recently expressed a desire to try something from the mortal realm," Nyarlisse-sama offers, and I quickly accept.

"Of course! I’d love to meet your wife, Miss Nyarlisse!" I’m a new herald who just got promoted, and thanks to that, I was able to become Nyarlisse-sama’s maid, so I obviously want to try to climb even higher.

"Then hold the cake and come with me, but be quiet, my wife doesn’t like too much noise," She says, and I just nod, taking the cake and closing my mouth.

Soon, Nyarlisse-sama guides me to the exit door, and I see the beautiful garden. I hadn’t been here before because I was told it was Nyarlisse-sama’s private space, and only specific people were allowed to enter.

’What a beautiful place...’ I see magnificent plants, flowers, and trees everywhere.

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it? My wife made everything here, at some point she wanted to start a hobby of taking care of a garden," Nyarlisse-sama says as we walk along an elegant stone path.

"Yes, it is beautiful..." I see a girl in the distance under a tree, sitting on the grass surrounded by papers and flowers.

’Oh... she’s so...’

"Magnificent? Is that what this image shows? Shizune is undoubtedly more beautiful than this entire garden," Nyarlisse-sama takes the words out of my mouth with a smile as she approaches the girl sitting on the ground.

"..." The girl looks at her and then at me, and when she looks at me and gives me a gentle smile, I shiver all over. One of her eyes is green, full of positivity, and radiates a calming sensation that matches her smile.

But her other eye is completely lifeless, a creepy black eye that looks at me as if judging me, making me feel small and treated with pure disdain, as if I were a worm that stains the purity of this garden.

"Is this cake for me?" This is the first thing she says, while Nyarlisse-sama takes the cake from my hands and hands it to Shizune.

"Yes, my love, it’s a cake made by humans. I remember you expressed a desire to try this, so I managed to get one for you," Nyarlisse says, placing the cake next to Shizune.

"I see... thank you, my dear..." She speaks without any interest in the cake, maintaining her gentle smile while returning her attention to the papers.

"I’ll eat the cake later, I really don’t have an appetite right now," Shizune says, and immediately Nyarlisse-sama crushes the cake with her foot, her expression momentarily becoming cold before becoming cheerful again.

"Okay, Shizune, maybe at a more opportune moment we can enjoy a human cake together," Nyarlisse-sama says, leaving her alone and coming to me.

"Let’s go, she needs silence," She says as she starts to leave, and I start to follow her, confused, without forgetting the dark gaze that that completely black eye gave me.

There was no shine that one would expect from something alive. She is the concept of life, so I expected her gaze to truly reflect kindness and a lively air, and not just one of her eyes conveying that.

"..."

"Do you feel uncomfortable?" She asks as we leave the garden.

"A-Ah, I... n-no, I’m fine..." I lie, but it obviously doesn’t work, as Nyarlisse-sama’s expression becomes terrible.

"..."

"If you want to survive here, don’t tell lies. Her gaze is horrible, isn’t it? That black eye is disgusting? Is that what you think of her?" She asks, not affirming, but getting the thought that came to me.

"I-I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to..."

"You don’t need to apologize. For those who are new, her eye really doesn’t seem pleasant. Don’t worry about it, just ignore it and don’t look too much... Anyway, she’s always very gentle, even though she always seems to be judging your soul."

"It’s even kind of cute, an interesting duality, don’t you think?" She says, regaining a small smile, although I can’t agree, as it just seems scary and shatters the initial image one has of her.

"Are you curious about why she has an eye like that? Although you’ll remain curious, as I won’t tell you, and she won’t talk about it either. We prefer to keep the past in the past," She says, and I just accept it.

"If you’re going to live here, you’ll run into her sometimes. You should respect her, as she is my wife, and you’ll pay dearly if I hear any complaints related to that."

"U-Understood, Miss Nyarlisse," I quickly accept to avoid sounding wrong.

"Great, she’s sensitive, so avoid making too much of a fuss around her." When Nyarlisse-sama says this, I think about the cake. Nyarlisse-sama just destroyed it without reason.

"Now you can go back, go do your work, I need to see my dear wife."

"Right away, Miss Nyarlisse!" I say, quickly starting to move forward.

...

...

...

I see Nyar returning to the garden, the sole of her boot still dirty with the cake she crushed. I let out a sigh, pushing the papers away from me.

"Hey, Nyar..." I say as she stops near me, furious.

"Why did you refuse the damn cake? You asked for this piece of crap food, was it that hard to at least stop and try it?" She speaks angrily.

"I... I’m not hungry," I say, which seems to make her even angrier. It’s been about 3 million years since we’ve been living together. In the beginning, she did a lot for me, and I understood that she was trying to help.

But around 2 million years ago, she started to get frustrated, noticing the most obvious thing of all I act in an obviously fake way, with false words of love and programmed romantic acts.

Nothing is truly real, and that frustrates her, because everything she does is accepted with a smile, compliments, and words of love, but nothing is ever genuine.

Even our marriage, which happened about 1 million years ago, seems like a blur, as I didn’t bother to pay attention to the celebration.

"..." I crawl over to Nyarlisse and, without shame, lick her boot, tasting the cake, then move away and lean against the tree.

"It has... a sweet taste, strawberry and chocolate, but it’s bitter. The sugar is low quality, the dough is dry and unpleasant, the chocolate scent is not soft enough, the cream is not perfect, the flavor is complete crap. Your food is much better," I say, which seems to stress her even more with the act.

I know this is the highest quality cake that humans can make, but I’m no longer human. In fact, I don’t even know what it feels like to truly experience being human anymore. It’s been just over 3 million years since I’ve existed.

And with that, any human experience has cooled to the point where everything now seems like trash. Nyarlisse’s food is better than any human food, so there’s no point in chasing after a cake made by humanity.

"I didn’t say I specifically wanted a cake made by humans. I said I missed the taste." It’s just nostalgia, something I’ll never be able to recover after tasting Nyarlisse’s food for so long.

"..." Nyarlisse looks at me hurt.

"Sorry to hurt you, love. Do you want a hug?" I open my arms for her as she kneels down and embraces me. I gently caress her body as her tentacles emerge from her body and "hug" me.

"Why do you seem worse?" She murmurs while I feel a tear dropping on me, but she’s wrong. I’m not worse than I was in the past. I just realized that I needed to change.

It happens that after 100,000 years, I realized it doesn’t make sense to hold grudges, anger, fear. I have practically eternal life, and sinking into bitterness is not healthy, so I decided to remain neutral to everything.

And that’s why I thought of enjoying my own time, creating a garden for myself where I can connect with nature and feel the life of other things.

"Sorry if it seems that way. Do you want me to take the lead tonight?" We have a lot of physical relationship constantly. In the beginning, it was more of a punishment for me, but after we got married, sex became a buffer for Nyarlisse herself.

Now she needs it to feel that she can still "reach" me, which is kind of funny. Maybe it’s sadistic of me to enjoy seeing her desperate love, but it also gives me a fun sense that I’m all that exists for her.

Her love has only grown over time, and the more she loves me, the more desperate she becomes to connect with me emotionally. She already has my body, but she’s never been able to get my heart, and that fills her with despair.

My relationship with Sayuri hasn’t changed much either. It’s become just a sisterly relationship where we work together. We hardly talk to each other, while Sayuri started doing her job, because whenever she makes a mistake, I rub in her face that it’s all her fault Yui died and now she doesn’t have people to fix her flaws.

"D-Do you want something?" Nyarlisse asks, trying to get anything that could bring us closer.

"No, I’m happy with what I have." It’s not a lie. I’m "happy" now. It’s not a very big happiness, but I like the life I’ve created on top of flaws and bad feelings. I like spending my time in this garden, watching plants grow while I work.

It’s also fun sometimes to watch the lives of other people. I can see everything, so when I’m not working or with Nyarlisse, I watch other lives.

"Hmmm, my love, you’re so needy," I say, feeling her tentacles invading my clothes.

"If you can’t hold out, I guess I can make an exception today," I say, leaning to the ground as I lock my legs around her waist.

"..." She looks at me with a gaze full of anger, but can only accept this little "crumb", because at some point our relationship has reversed, and now I’m on top.

Because when love becomes pure desperation, the person most affected is the one desperate for love, and that’s Nyar, who in the beginning was the one calling the shots, but now can only cling to scraps of affection for having become desperate for love.

And the most ironic part is, I didn’t do anything. She did this to herself, alone, while trying to "fix" me when I’m not really broken. I just decided to act as neutrally as possible, aiming for my own spiritual and mental peace.