CHAPTER 39: A NICE CHANGE

I grinned like an idiot, humming to myself as I chopped garlic. The sharp, fragrant smell filled the kitchen. Dinner was almost ready, and for once, I was actually looking forward to it.

"Okay, what’s with the face?"

I jumped, the knife slipping. My older sister, Olica, was leaning in the doorway, a laundry basket on her hip and a smirk on her face. "You look way too happy. It’s weirding me out."

"Shut up," I said, my heart starting to calm down. "I’m just making dinner."

"Uh-huh," she said, not buying it for a second. She walked over and peered into the pot. "Because you’re always this cheerful after school. Usually, you come home looking like you just sat through a three-hour lecture on paint drying."

Ouch. She wasn’t wrong.

"School’s just been... better lately," I mumbled, scraping the garlic into the simmering sauce.

"Better since you started walking home with that guy I saw you with?" she asked, her eyes lighting up. She was like a shark that smelled gossip in the water.

My face felt hot. "How did you even see that?"

"I have eyes. And he’s cute. Is he why you finally ditched Tyler? Thank god, by the way. That guy had the personality of a wet napkin."

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. "His name’s Kofi."

"Kofi," she repeated, testing the name out. "And? What’s the deal? Is he the reason for the ridiculous grin?"

I stirred the sauce, a real smile spreading across my face. "He’s a nerd. A huge, quiet nerd who compares everything to video games. But... it’s just easy. He doesn’t want anything. We just talk."

"Easy looks good on you," she said, her voice softening a little. "It’s nice seeing you actually smile instead of just performing."

The word ’performing’ hit me right in the chest. That’s exactly what it had been. With Tyler, and the guy before him, and the one before that, it was all a performance. I had to be the ’cool girlfriend.’ I had to laugh at the right time, wear the right clothes, say the right things. I’d come home every day feeling completely drained, like I’d just finished a ten-hour shift at a job I hated.

"I didn’t realize it was that obvious," I said quietly, turning the heat down on the stove.

"Nina, please," Olica said, leaning against the counter next to me. "Mom and I were talking about it just last week. For the past year, you’ve come home looking like a ghost. You’d just go to your room and shut the door. We were worried."

I felt a little pang of guilt. I had been so wrapped up in my own misery, in trying to survive Selma and Becky’s social boot camp, that I hadn’t even thought about how it was affecting my family. They saw the ’paint drying’ face, too.

"It was just... a lot," I said, shrugging. "Friends, guys... it was all so much work."

"It shouldn’t be work," she said, her voice firm. "If it feels like work, you’re with the wrong people. All those guys your ’friends’ kept pushing you on... they were all the same. Just different flavors of asshole."

She was right. They were. They all wanted the same thing: a pretty accessory to show off. Not a person. Not me. They wanted the girl who looked good in pictures, not the girl who liked reading fantasy books and listening to her mom’s folk music.

"Kofi’s not like that," I found myself saying, and I felt the need to defend him, even though no one was attacking him. "He’s... quiet and awkward. And he says the weirdest things. But when he looks at me, it doesn’t feel like he’s trying to figure out an angle. It just feels like he’s looking at me."

"Well, that’s a step up from Mr. Wet Napkin," Olica said with a grin. "So, this nerd. Is he just a friend, or...?"

My face got hot again. "We’re just friends."

It was true. We agreed to be friends. But the way my heart had stuttered when he’d looked at me in the café, the way I felt when he said he was thankful for me... that didn’t feel very ’just friends’. And the hug. Oh god, the hug. My brain just short-circuited every time I thought about it. He had felt so solid and warm, and for a split second, I had felt completely safe.

"Okay," Olica said, drawing the word out, clearly not believing me for a second. "Just friends who you’re grinning about like a crazy person. Got it."

I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved her. "Whatever. Go set the table."

"Fine, fine," she said, laughing as she pushed herself off the counter. "But for the record, I approve of the nerd. Anyone who can make you stop looking like a sad Victorian ghost is okay in my book."

I watched her walk out of the kitchen, and the smile on my face just stayed there. It was so nice, not having to explain or defend myself. Olica just got it.

I was plating the pasta when my phone, which was on the counter, buzzed. I glanced at the screen, my heart giving a little kick when I saw his name.

’He’s just a friend,’ I reminded myself, but my fingers were already swiping to open the message.

It wasn’t a text. It was a picture.

I tapped on it, and the image loaded. It was a selfie, taken from a slightly low angle, the kind guys always take when they’re not used to taking pictures of themselves.

It was Kofi and his hair was gone.

The messy, longish hair that flopped over his eyes was completely gone. The sides were cut short and clean, and the hair on top was styled, falling perfectly. It changed his whole face. He suddenly had a jawline. A really, really nice jawline. He looked... cool. Like, really, genuinely cool. Not a loner, not a nerd. He looked like the main character.

A sound escaped my mouth. It was something between a squeak and a gasp.

"HOLY SHIT!"

I slapped my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide. I zoomed in on the picture. I zoomed out. I swiped it away and then immediately brought it back up to make sure it was real.

’Okay. Okay. Calm down, Nina. It’s just a haircut.’

But it wasn’t just a haircut. It was... a glow-up. A serious one. He looked so good it was actually a little bit stunning.

My thumbs were flying over the keyboard before I could even think.

Me: um.

Me: WHAT

Me: KOFI. WHAT DID YOU DO.

I hit send, my heart pounding like crazy. I stared at the picture again, a huge, ridiculous grin spreading across my face.

’... He looks so hot.... In a friendship kind of way, yeah, that’s what I meant. It’s not like I meant it in a romantic way or anything.’