CHAPTER 35: MY MOM IS SCARIER THAN THE YAKUZA

I stared at Kimiko on the couch beside me, her arm still looped through mine like a warm vise. Her smile reminded me of certain Yakuza elders I’d known—seemingly kind on the surface, but with eyes that caught every micro-expression.

I needed to be extraordinarily careful here. This woman had raised Satori from birth, wiped his tears, bandaged his scraped knees, and watched him grow from baby to teenager. If anyone could spot the impostor behind his eyes, it would be her—the one person whose love might be powerful enough to see through my performance.

"So," she said, her voice gentle but inescapable, like a silken noose gradually tightening. "When did all this start? The last time we video called, you were..." She waved her hand vaguely, clearly searching for a diplomatic way to say ’a disgusting slob who could barely drag himself off the couch, who reeked of stale chips and wasted potential.’

"Different," I supplied with a sheepish smile, giving her the escape route from blunt honesty.

"Different," she agreed, returning my smile with one of her own that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "And now look at you."

"I hit rock bottom," I said, lowering my voice as if sharing something deeply personal, intimate—the kind of confession that builds trust. "About a month ago."

Kimiko’s eyes softened, maternal instinct overriding her suspicion, at least momentarily. "What happened, sweetie?"

The question felt like a trap laid by a master. Too specific an answer, and I risked contradicting something the real Satori might have told her. Too vague, and I’d fail to create the emotional connection I desperately needed to establish. I had to walk the razor’s edge.

"It wasn’t one big thing," I said slowly. "It was a thousand little things. The way Natalia looked at me—like I was something she’d scraped off her shoe. The way Dad talked about his Hunter stories, his eyes lighting up with pride, and I had nothing to contribute. The way I’d wake up tired, go to sleep tired, and accomplish nothing in between except disappointing everyone who cared about me."

I let my voice crack slightly0. "The mirror was the worst part. I started avoiding it because I couldn’t stand what I saw looking back. A failure. A zero in every sense of the word."

Kimiko’s hand found mine, squeezing gently, her palm warm and comforting. Mother’s touch—something I’d never truly known in either life.

"I know you and Dad were trying to help. But I had to hit bottom before I could bounce back up." I looked down at our hands, intertwined like my lies were intertwining with just enough truth to be believable. "One night, I tried to do a single push-up. Just one. And I couldn’t even do that."

I let out a self-deprecating laugh that sounded hollow even to my own ears. "That’s when something just... snapped inside me. I was so angry—at myself, at the world, at everything. I decided I was done being useless. Done being a Zero." I raised my eyes to meet hers, projecting every ounce of sincerity I could muster. "I wanted to make you proud for once."

Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, a maternal vulnerability that made me feel like the monster I truly was. "Oh, Satori. I’ve always been proud of you."

"You shouldn’t have been," I said firmly, injecting a steel into my voice that the old Satori could never have managed. "But I want to earn it now. I want to be someone worth your pride."

In the kitchen, Luka’s booming voice rose over the sizzle of bacon. "The kid’s finally found his fight! Didn’t I tell you he would? Just needed some time to figure himself out!"

"Yes, Daddy, you did," Natalia replied, her tone clipped with barely contained frustration. "You’ve been saying it for years."

"And I was right! Sometimes people just need time to figure themselves out. You can’t rush these things!"

"Or maybe they need someone to stop enabling them," Natalia muttered, the bitterness in her voice carrying clearly to the living room.

Kimiko’s attention remained fixed on me, laser-focused and unswayed by the kitchen drama. "And what about your studies? The entrance exam is coming up soon."

"I’ve been working on that too," I said, treading carefully around the topic of Natalia. "Natalia’s been... helping me."

Her eyebrows rose slightly, a flicker of genuine surprise breaking through her composed facade. "Has she? That’s new."

"We’ve reached an understanding," I said carefully, mentally editing out the part where that understanding involved her pinned against a wall. "She’s been more patient with me since I started trying harder."

Kimiko’s smile turned thoughtful, almost knowing. "That girl has always been too hard on herself. And on everyone around her." She squeezed my hand again, her grip firmer this time. "I’m glad you two are getting along better."

"Me too," I said, meaning it more than she could possibly understand, given what I had planned for her stepdaughter.

"And this change... it’s coming from inside you? No one’s pressuring you?" Her eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, searching my face with disturbing thoroughness.

The question seemed innocent, but her eyes remained watchful, probing, dissecting. I had the uncomfortable feeling she was seeing more than I wanted her to, peeling back layers I’d carefully constructed.

"It’s all me," I assured her, meeting her gaze steadily. "For the first time, I actually like the direction I’m heading."

From the kitchen came the clatter of plates being set on the table, the domestic soundtrack of normalcy. "Breakfast is ready!" Natalia called, sounding relieved to have an excuse to end her uncomfortable conversation with Luka.

"We’ll be right there," Kimiko called back. Then, in a lower voice, her eyes never leaving mine, she added, "One more thing, Satori. Have you manifested an Aspect?"

My heart skipped a beat, then raced to catch up. How the hell did she know to ask that? Had Natalia already told them? Was this another trap?

"Why do you ask?"

"A mother knows these things," she said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "There’s a... light in your eyes that wasn’t there before. The kind I see in Luka’s eyes after a successful Gate run. A certain intensity that’s... new."

I decided to stick close to the story I’d told Natalia. If they compared notes later, consistency would be vital.

"I think I might have," I admitted, as if sharing a precious secret. "Something with fire. It happened recently, during training. I’ve been trying to control it before telling anyone."

Her eyes widened, genuine excitement breaking through her careful scrutiny. "Oh, Satori! That’s wonderful news! Have you registered with the Aspect Authority yet?"

"Not yet," I said, shaking my head. "I wanted to be sure first. And to surprise you and Dad."

She laughed, a musical sound that carried genuine joy. "Well, consider us surprised! Wait until your father hears this. He’s been saying for years you were just a late bloomer!"

"Actually," I said, lowering my voice conspiratorially, leaning closer like we were co-conspirators, "I was hoping to show him myself. Maybe after breakfast?"

Kimiko’s face lit up with maternal pride. "He’ll be thrilled. My boy, a late bloomer!" She pulled me into a tight hug that felt so genuine it was disorienting, her warmth and unconditional acceptance almost painful to receive under false pretenses. When she pulled back, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming, Satori."

For a moment, I thought I was in the clear. Then her expression shifted subtly, almost imperceptibly, and she added:

"I just hope I still recognize my baby boy when you’re done."

I am watching you.

The message couldn’t have been clearer if she’d said it out loud, written it in blood, or carved it into my forehead.

"Come on," she said, standing and offering me her hand. "Let’s go eat before Luka inhales everything."