CHAPTER 58: SLAPPING HIM... TWICE

Catherine’s POV

I opened the door, half-asleep. The faint curl of smoke hit me instantly and I looked down to find Julian sitting on the floor against the wall, cigarette dangling loosely between his fingers. His jaw was tight in that frustratingly controlled way he always had.

"What are you still doing here?" I croaked with my scratchy voice.

He shrugged lazily, narrowing his eyes just enough to make my stomach twist. "Waiting for you to stop hating me," he said dryly, as if it were obvious.

I blinked at him, half-expecting him to vanish like a figment of my imagination. "Hate you?" I echoed, incredulously. "I don’t hate you." My voice cracked anyway. I hated the way he made me feel, and hating him was too weak for the mess of feelings I had.

He tilted his head and a faint smirk teased at the corner of his mouth. "Sure, Wildcat. Make yourself believe that."

I took a step forward, clutching the doorframe like it would ground me. "You keep humiliating me but always taking Lucy’s side. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel?"

His expression softened just a little. "I didn’t mean to humiliate you," he said quietly. "And I wasn’t supporting anyone, okay? I just... you didn’t have to hit Lucy. I was only trying to make you see that."

"You call that trying to make me see things?!" I snapped. "Lucy lied about me pushing her intentionally and you!" I waved my hands, exasperated, "you just let it slide! I’m not entitled to your support but maybe you should try to not make it obvious that you will always choose her side over mine, Julian!"

He leaned back slightly, as if the weight of my anger pressed him into the wall. His voice was quieter now, like he was being careful. "You bumped into her, right?"

"Yes but it was an accident! You know I was running?"

"You were running," he repeated softly, almost like a question, "and you bumped into her. Catherine... Lucy and you don’t see eye to eye, so of course she would think you did it intentionally. It doesn’t mean she wanted to lie against you."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Wow. I had to commend him on how easily he always found a way to make excuses for her. "It’s fine, you just wait. She’ll show you her true colors soon enough.."

He raised a brow and shook his head. "Stop it."

I huffed, turning toward my room, ready to slam the door in his face and call it a day but his hand caught mine, solidly pulling me back, so close I could feel the tension radiating from him.

I didn’t move, the air between us thickened with unspoken words.

"Let go," I murmured, "It’s either her or me."

He shook his head slowly and his voice dropped lower. "Catherine, please don’t make me choose between the two of you. Lucy is special to me."

My chest tightened. His statement hit me harder than ever, it was enough conviction that he would always pick Lucy over me.

I scoffed, my throat suddenly bitter. "Special, huh?" I whispered with a trembling voice. "I hope you rot in hell."

With that, I stepped back into my room, and pushed the door shut just enough to give me some distance but before I could catch my breath, the door pushed open again.

Julian barged in and without any hesitation or warning, he grabbed my wrist, spun me around and his lips crashed into mine with all the force of a storm.

I barely had time to register what had just occurred before my instincts kicked in. I shoved with every ounce of strength I had and my hands clawed at his chest before slapping him hard.

I needed to put space between us. He didn’t relent, didn’t back off. Instead, he pulled me back in and covered my lips desperately while I struggled against the pressure of his body, the heat of him and the kiss:

"Julian!" I shouted between breaths, shoving him off again. My palms burned, my heart was racing, my tears threatened to spill all over. "Stop! You can’t—"

He finally pulled back just slightly, resting his forehead against mine, both of us panting. The raw intensity in his eyes was almost unbearable. It was as if he was begging me to understand without saying a word.

"You— can’t just—" I stammered, trembling. "Kiss me whenever you feel like. You picked her over me, so go kiss her instead. Let me be."

His gaze softened for the briefest moment. Then he pressed a finger to my lips. "Catherine..." he whispered, a shiver running through my spine. "I’m not choosing her over you. Stop twisting my words."

I pulled away, my chest heaving. "What else am I supposed to make of your words?!"

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply, as if the tension in the room was physically suffocating him. "I don’t know but I’m not choosing her over you."

I stepped back, still wary of the closeness between us. Then a low laugh escaped my mouth. "How do you expect me to believe you when you always grab the opportunity to humiliate me in front of her!"

"No, that’s not true," he paused and continued. "If we are even talking about humiliation, then I am the victim. You always humiliate me in front of Collins whenever the opportunity presents itself."

I snorted, a bitter laugh catching in my throat. Was he really making this about himself now?!

Before I could stop myself, my hand shot out, slapping him again, with all the emotions I couldn’t articulate flowing through my palm.

He winced and stepped back, while rubbing his jaw, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. That look... I hated it and wanted it all at once.

For a moment, everything stood still. Me, him. I could feel my pulse racing in my ears, my breath shallow.

I wiped at my tears, pretending to compose myself, my body still trembling from the adrenaline, from the fear, from the lingering touch that I didn’t want but somehow didn’t hate either.

He opened his mouth to speak but he stopped and moved to the wall, leaning against it, watching me like he was trying to read my heartbeat and thoughts. I hated that he could do that. I hated it and yet, for the briefest flicker of a second, I wished he would stop looking at me and crash his lips on mine again.

What’s wrong with me! One moment I don’t want him, and the next, I’m hoping he dies things to me. Was this obsession? If yes, then I needed to stop myself.

"Go," my shaky voice rose in a whisper. "Before I do something stupid like hit you again."

He tilted his head and started moving forward.

He stopped walking when he noticed I moved back. "If hitting me will calm you down, then hit me all you want, I deserve it."

I spun and retreated to the corner of my room, my hands covering my face as tears threatened to fall. "Julian, please listen to me just this once and leave, I need space."

The last thing I heard was the clicking shut. When I turned around, he was gone.