GODReset.

    AMBROSIA

    I attempted again, but this time a table wobbled, I lurched forward, cracking my head the wrong way. I must have lost consciousness, because I had a brief dream before again dying.

    GOD

    Reset.

    AMBROSIA

    I took a running jump and overshot.

    GOD

    Reset.

    AMBROSIA

    I didn''t jump far enough this time.

    GOD

    Sigh... Reset.

    AMBROSIA

    I jumped fairly well until one of the objects that appeared to be something gray in the water turned out to be a shark. I kinda jumped into its mouth.

    GOD

    Did she just jump the shark? Reset.

    AMBROSIA

    I was careful to jump correctly, and avoid any suspicious gray objects. With some effort, I arrived on the beach, and then I held the rope fast, while Aqorm made her way across. One at a time, each of us made it to the other side, and held fast to the rope when we made it. Now at last, it was just Nevras and Elias left. Elias managed, but seemed frightened by something midway through his rescue. “What''s wrong?” I asked. Elias''s words filled me with panic, as he announced, “The rope... all this water and salt... it''s fraying...”

    GOD

    I shall break this story to once again fill you with a sense of tension and suspense. I know you believe there are no consequences to Ambrosia''s allies dying, but this is not the case. Yes, I can reset Ambrosia''s story if events went wrong, but if she were to continue on and save her progress without one of the party members, they would be left forever where they stood. Resurrection of the dead is possible, but typically having a body to resurrect is preferable. In a case like this, while the body could be revived rather than resurrection, they might just have their lungs fill with fluids again. Worse yet, the Afterlife is strongly based on personal drives and belief sets. When people are surrounded by powerful emotions like guilt or trauma, such things can strongly affect their Afterlife. It was for this reason that I sent a Savior, so that those who lived would not see themselves as doomed.

    This happens not nearly as often as in ages past, where miracles and thaumaturgy were not as commonplace, but it does happen among those that have little ability towards such things. Those who do drown tend to find themselves in an Afterlife strongly governed by the creatures of the deep. Unlike other portions of the Afterlife, it is difficult to reach them. It is not, you understand, a failing of mine, as it is clear from Romans 8, there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God; however, as long as people are convinced they are someplace too deep or miserable for me to touch them, it is that much harder for them to be rescued because of their own mental constructs. Stop making it so hard, dammit!

    So you see, knowing what I do about Ambrosia, I was filled with angst at the thought of her loved one leaving her forever. Yet I was powerless to do anything in this situation, as nervous and filled with doubt Ambrosia was... At least, this is a common belief. I am always capable of sending a soul to Afterlife anywhere, or even rescuing a body from the sea. But you humans prefer to believe that weird fish have some bearing on what happens after death. I wouldn''t want you believing otherwise, so let''s go with that. We''ll say that people who die underwater attract the attention of Elder Formless. It''s not true, but you humans will believe it even if I say otherwise. So, why not, let''s start an urban legend!

    I have not stalled long enough to build the prerequisite amount of suspense. I apologize. I shall tell you of the Blessed. Not all humans do have the ability of thaumaturgy. Some have other forms of power, such as physical techniques or alchemy. Some have antimagic due to lack of faith, and some have racial abilities. There''s also the Blessed, those who lived by the Golden Rule. You know, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” They were so named, because they were blessed by their decision not to cause any sort of harm to anything. They ate nothing that killed anything, and did not engage in rape or murder, or even say unkind words. Like most humans, they could not be raped, but they also could not be hurt, drowned, poisoned, or even die of the elements. In fact, they could not even have unkind words said to them. If someone tried to call them “ugly” for instance, the words would stick in their throat. And a library worker that was Blessed would be unable to be fired from their job, threatened, or even made to do a task that was scary. They were easy to identify, since they were marked with a distinctive symbol on their forehead. It was my symbol, the symbol of the Way.

    What protected them? An invisible barrier known as the Merkaba. This looked like a three-dimensional Star of David, and would ward off all misfortune. They still had to eat, sleep, and breathe, but they seldom found themselves in a situation where this was an issue. This is not to say they couldn''t be touched in ways that they liked. The Merkaba was a constant and passive barrier against unwanted events. The Blessed had another name. Since an inordinate number of them occupied positions such as merchant or banker, they were called the Neutral Protected Class (or NPCs). NPCs could work at a bank, and have an attempted robber fire round after round at them after they refused to empty the vaults, never looking up from their paperwork.

    Nor was it easy to hurt their loved ones. The Merkaba was active at all times unless they were bored or had fear, and since it was impossible to feel fear if they never had anything unwanted happen to them, the first thing people tried to do was make them worry for their loved ones. But it was their love that protected, and their love of others made sure those people would never be hurt, as long as they loved them.

    These people were sadly never adventurers since complete nonviolence was usually not compatible with a system that paid people to hunt or fish, or at the very least, steal treasure. It was a shame though, because if Nevras drowned here, he had no such protection. So, based on what I said, obviously he''s doomed.

    NEVRAS

    Contrary to the naysayers, I am not the type of terrible swimmer that immediately drowns on hitting the water. I am fairly athletic, after all, and I am aware enough to spot some danger in time. I too noticed that the rope was fraying, so I quickly yet carefully used the rope to climb each floating object to the next one, until at last the fraying rope broke. With a free hand, I caught the other end, lunging for it. I missed some of the furniture, falling instead into the water. I was able to kick with my feet, but because I was not able to let go of the rope, I was unable to swim properly, and was slowly sinking. To combat this, I began to grab one hand to the rope while the other pulled the next piece of rope, placing hand over hand as I dragged myself towards the shore. I was not alone in my endeavor, and eventually Ambrosia and the rest dragged me until I was on dry land.

    From the beach, we noticed a town off to the distance. Unfortunately, as we got closer, there appeared to be an Impossibiru Robo up ahead, so we were careful to hide in bushes and sneak around it. In previous ages, robots were often crude to the point where Aqorm could probably steal their nuts and bolts, taking them apart before it hurt us. Even the flying mechs were no match against this approach. However, this wasn''t as fragile. This was commonly used to guard places one wasn''t supposed to go to yet, for it did not even any sort of seams or obvious vulnerabilities. Somehow, we got through, although someone may have stepped on a twig causing it to blast a beam of plasma at the tree nearby us. We were clearly supposed to go some other way, but I didn''t care. After a long hike we managed to reach the town of Gruumi.

    The town was, quite literally a one-horse town. And I don''t mean like “I literally was so drunk that I died.” There was one horse, and the town was just a inn/pub and a harbor. And as to the port, something about the boat getting wrecked in the middle of the ocean, was probably what was causing an extreme delay. Since we were stuck in this beach town for what might be a long time, and since we had a bit of an intense time of it lately, I decided Ambrosia and I could use a date.

    We walked into the pub, and it was definitely in need of work. If the film Deliverance was set in a restaurant, one would get roughly the idea of the place. There were lowlifes of all sorts, some of which looked severely inbred, and others who looked like they were rejects from some hole in the ground. That place was too good for them, so they came up here. At the bar itself, there were things dressed in hoods and rags, I decided not to talk to these. In the table nearest the door there was an elf woman with a long white dress and blond hair, who was sitting next to an R-model robot. His main body was like a giant metallic egg, with backpack to run his systems, legs which ended in an iron boot rather than toes, and his hands ended in three fingers without any knuckles. The woman looked at him with fascination. The table to the north side had a party already dining, a man in heavy iron armor with what appeared to be a boy and a girl servant. We sat down on the open table. There were stairs nearby leading to the beds, but... we weren''t going to stay.

    Stepping around outright holes in the floor, the waitress wandered over to our table. As I looked up, I was struck by how incredibly... morose she looked. Of course, Ambrosia had been talking to me for a while, so I didn''t mention anything. “It''s been a while since we just hung out. We''ve been doing too much work lately,” she said. I nodded, trying hard not to stare at the waitress, “Yeah...Fighting critters is no picnic, and we''ve really been on the road for too long.” Ambrosia added, “You know, if this could be called a second date, most people would say it''s lame.” I sighed, “Yeah, we need to do something.” Ambrosia ranted a bit here, “Just so you know, I don''t blame you. I blame this crummy town, with nothing here but this pub, and a bunch of small town yokels.” The waitress coughed. I asked, “Maybe the locals know something we don''t?”

    Tired of being talked around, the waitress finally spoke up, “Can I help you?” She said this with the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice. Maybe she didn''t like her town getting trashed like this. Ambrosia, finally looking at her, said what I''d been trying to avoid saying, “Nevras, she seems almost sad enough to kill herself. In front of us!”

    After regaining her composure, she said, “Could you tell us what there is fun to do in this town? We were on a date, but having nothing to do is kind of... thwarting it.” I noticed her mumbling to herself, like she was personally regretting something. Finally, she explained, “Hi, my name is Umi, I''ll be your acting tour guide. This town has a grand piano for musicians...” She said, pointing to the old clunker off to the side. Ambrosia shook her head, “I don''t play.” She continued, “We have drinking contests every now and then...” Ambrosia and I were practically nondrinkers, and told her as much. She frowned, but tried to maintain a cheery attitude, “The only other thing is our Old 96er.” Ambrosia looked intrigued, “Old 96er? What''s that?” She beamed with pride as she described, “The Old 96er is our specialty 96oz prime rib, grilled to perfection, not that it helps much considering the obscene size of the meat, and served with haricots verts, grilled mushrooms, and mashed potatoes & gravy. If you manage to finish the entire meal in under thirty minutes, it''s all free. Plus you get a prize.” Ambrosia became excited, “Oh? What kind of prize?” She explained, “A tee-shirt that says, ''I FINISHED AN OBSCENELY BIG AMOUNT OF MEAT, AND I DIDN''T THROW UP, CHEAT, OR TAKE IT HOME FOR LATER.''” Ambrosia looked even more interested, “I need that shirt.” I asked, “Can we split it?” She nodded, “Yes, but if either of you throw up, you both lose the challenge.”

    And so it was that we undertook the legendary challenge. The steak, predictably was disgusting. Oh, don''t get me wrong. It was medium rare, it was soft, it was nicely marbled, and it was tender. But imagine having an awesome steak and having to chew like crazy to finish it in a limited time frame. The green beans had just the right amount of seasonings. The mushrooms had a delicate earthy flavor, and the potatoes had a bit of garlic added for an extra kick. But after about 30 oz each, I felt the muscles in my mouth seize up. Wagering that one or both of us would either choke to death or throw up, I slammed my hand down in the universal symbol for tapping out. We continued to eat it, because it was rather good, yet did so over the next two hours. Meanwhile, I noticed that the waitress Umi, in addition to looking nauseous, was still very sad. Ambrosia asked first, while still gnawing on a huge piece of meat, “Wait, before you go... Not that it''s any of my business, but why do you look so depressed? Is it that this town is a dead end?”

    Umi sighed, “You''re right, it isn''t your business,” she paused, “But I''ll tell you anyway. A couple years back, I actually owned this pub. And I had a boyfriend that I thought I was going to get married to. Instead, he left me for the waitress. Then, he bought out the company''s stock and put me out of management. Now I work as his waitress. Can you imagine someone like me, bright future, plenty of education, getting the shaft because some big jock simply bought their business? I don''t even get to work my own hours!” She sighed again, “But that''s not really the issue, because I''ve saved up to almost buy the place back. The real problem is every day, I see couples like you making it work and I wonder what a beautiful and smart woman like me is doing wrong.”

    Ambrosia tried to cheer her up, “Don''t worry, we''re not nearly as close as you think. This is our second date. You just need to get your confidence back. Why, I bet you the next person to walk through the door will ask you out.” Sure enough, no sooner had she said this, than a short young woman with red hair in a ponytail came in, and said to her, “Can I get a table? And your number?” I snickered, until I realized she was serious. Umi said, “I''m sorry, but I''m not really into...” she stopped as she saw Ambrosia''s glare. “I mean... I''m willing to consider it if you''re serious.” She nodded, and they walked off to have their own date.

    We ate in silence, systematically cutting the steak into smaller slices, and chewing slowly to not have a repeat of before. Then we split the vegetables, followed by the potato. Finally, I burped, and the room echoed with the raw awesomeness of what we had just done. “Ohhhh, my stomach,” said Ambrosia, “Nevras, are you okay?” I nodded, “I''m fine, except for what I''m fighting to keep down. Did you have fun tonight?” She shrugged, “Despite everything, I think I did!” I leaned over as though to kiss her, but all of a sudden, she said, “Wait a moment, please.” She seemed to have a compulsion to search her purse for the room key. Although it was sweet that she wanted to take me to her room, I was sitting there waiting around while she can''t find her keys. She dove into her bag and pulled out lipstick, bubble gum, nail files, school books, glasses, magazines, eyebrow pencils, perfume, and even strange stuff like watermelons. I was tempted to wonder how her bag held so much (but then I remembered, we have magic) and why a penniless girl from the street would suddenly have so much stuff, but that was probably a moot point. The moment passed.

    AMBROSIA

    Fighting a terrible food hangover, and the meat sweats, we held each other''s hands while we talked to random people inside the bar. I really did care for our time together, it was just with all that had gone on lately, I was kind of stressed. Ah well.

    We talked to the man in the iron armor. He introduced himself as the “daimyo” of Gruumi village. Since we couldn''t continue on our journey by boat, and didn''t want to hang around this godforsaken (in this day and age, this is saying something) town, I asked him about possibly finding a pass through the huge mountain range to the east. “Well, my great power and wealth can afford me many luxuries,” he said. “I can have my vassals find an All-Terrain Vehicle for you to ride straight over those mountains. But I need a favor...” I knew it. There''s always a catch. “Yes?” He explained, “Since ancient times, my people have used the power of Death as a source of energy. This power was contained in a stone called the Necrocite. You understand of course that I will be unable to help you until my legitimacy is restored? You must gain hold of the Necrocite if you wish to cross the mountains!” This indeed did make some sense. Nevras and I agreed, and were about to head out to tell the others the great news. We had told them to wait outside, so we could enjoy our date, ignoring the fact that they were probably hungry and thirsty, and also tired from their journey. Before we could get them, one of the vassals slipped out the front door and went outside. We followed after her.

    The girl was a brunette, slightly taller than normal. Nevras had a hunch about her. “Look at her hands, her neck, and her shoulders,” he said. I must have looked puzzled, “What about them?” Nevras responded, “Oh, nothing.” I addressed her, waving, “Hey there! Can you help me find this Necrocite? I didn''t know where to start. I would hope that you, as one of his vassals, had a lead.” Her voice was soft, high, and lyrical as she said the words, “I can''t imagine what you are speaking of. I am but a simple lady in service of the great daimyo of Gruumi,” she said. “What reason would I have for hiding the Necrocite on my person? Phew, this is so exhausting...” For a second, there I heard her mutter in an uncharacteristically deep voice, but it was probably just my imagination. After a few seconds, I realized something. “Wait,” I said, “we never said anything about you hiding it on you, just that maybe you''d know something about it. What''s going on here?” In her soft feminine voice, she led us outside and told us, “Would you two turn around, please? I need to show you something, and I will tell you when to look.” Nevras, in dawning understanding grabbed me, and turned me around. I kept wanting to look back, but he held me close. I heard zipping behind me, and finally I heard a deeper voice telling me, “Okay, you can turn around now.” If not for the dress and brunette wig on the ground, I would have thought she left and this boy just walked by. But yeah, same face and everything. He was dressed in shorts and a shirt. “Do you see now? He forces me to dress like a woman purely for his entertainment. We aren''t his servants, more like his slaves! I had no choice in the matter, since I was his vassal.” I said, “Wow, that''s harsh! What do you want me to do about it, though?” To which he responded, “You must overthrow him!” He tossed me the Necrocite.

    I went back inside. I had quickly planned what to do. First, I showed him the Necrocite. Then, I asked him for the All-Terrain Vehicle. “Take this,” said the daimyo. I looked at the object he had given me. It was a cow bell, solid metal, and circular in shape. It was a few times larger than the ones I had seen back home, but other than that, yeah, I was pretty sure this wasn''t any All-Terrain Vehicle. I screamed, “You cheated us!” I may have lunged at him at some point. He managed to throw me off, and summoned four guards, seemingly from nowhere to take care of us. Using my knife, I wounded one enough that he wouldn''t harm us, and Nevras and Azrael managed to knock the other two out. Aqorm and Zoe worked together on the last. “You''re surrounded,” I said, “give up the Vehicle!” The daimyo countered, “That is the All-Terrain Vehicle. You just ring that bell, and the Sacred Beast will come to your aid.” A likely story.

    After fighting him at length, he explained to us, “You have yet to see my true form!” So saying, his body shook as though he was having a seizure or something, and began to glow. He tore off his heavy armor to reveal... the innkeeper''s daughter? “This is not even my strongest form. You have yet to defeat me!” He (she?) was right. We weren''t going to defeat the innkeeper''s daughter, not in full view of the innkeeper.

    Thankfully, we didn''t have to. While the daimyo had been distracted, the vassal from outside stabbed the daimyo in the back, “Now I am the new daimyo.” Perhaps we had made a mistake in trying to overthrow the leader, for shortly after that, we kinda were run out of town.

    Wandering around the area, there didn''t seem to be many places to go. There was a long beach all the way around the west coast. To the northeast of town, there was another building, but it was just a castle owned by some guy who wanted to sell us stuff. We bought provisions and rested, but the surrounding area was a jungle filled with extremely feminine-looking man-eating plants called tipitiwitchets (luckily I''m a woman), magus vines (supposedly it could use magic), and tigers/snakes. Yes, I know it seems like we have awesome powers and stuff, but when those are used up, all it takes is one snake bite to put the group into a life-or-death situation. And there was heavy rain in this area. I didn''t want those healing us to have failing magic during all of this. Back to the east of town, there was a large mountain that appeared to be difficult to climb. So I took out the cow bell. I was not at all confident in its abilities, but I decided to try it out.

    It made a typical low-pitched jingling sound, and I heard “Mooooooooo” echo across the land. The ground shook and out popped something that would definitely help us with travel over all types of land. The Sacred Beast... was a cow. Well, sort of. It was a red heifer and roughly the size of the one from the story of Paul Bunyan. I suddenly understood why 98 ounce steaks were so common here, and why such a large area of land was sand instead of grass. Sёar?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

    With difficulty, we climbed the enormous animal, and rode across the mountains. It was a bumpy ride, but the large heifer kept a steady speed. At last we made it to a safe area, and dismounted on the grass. The cow faded away, to return to our aid when needed. There was one large beast nearby, but I used my latest Crest, the Four Gods, carefully walking through the steps of Carrying Tiger Over Mountain to generate a strong wind and other natural events. The animal, what appeared to be a mutant three-headed zebra, fell quickly to the multi-elemental attack.

    To our direct east, we saw the shrine. To our southeast, Elias''s former place, the Great Library stood. We decided not to go there right now. To the southwest, we saw a strange town that appeared to be built in a sort of reverse oasis. By that I mean, the area around the town was moist and snowy, which the town itself was a hot desert, and outside of that was the grassy area where we currently stood. It seemed like this town was attracting strange weather, so we of course had to check it out. Moving closer, I realized that I knew this town. Galaxia.