AMBROSIAIt was a bit of a walk to get to the church. And considering where we were, it was basically like walking on hot coals for two or three miles without shoes. All of us took off the winter garments from Bahamut''s island, and shoved them in the bag, but it didn''t stop there. We wound up stripping down to just underwear. And yeah, I know, my environmental protection should have worked. But here, pain was kinda omnipresent.

    You can find out some intimate things about your friends by looking at what they wear as, you know, their intimates. Michael didn''t have to strip at all (lucky bastard), so he was still in his angelic toga. I glared at him, but Michael always seemed either too naive (or too arrogant?) to really be affected by what other people thought about him. Aqorm apparently was okay being sky-clad under her clothes, and it didn''t seem to bother her. Elves, I guess. Zoe had bound her breasts slightly in bandages and wore a loin cloth below, since her original clothing had all burned up. Azrael wore a sort of leotard with a complex print (it looked like a big critter holding a circular container with six chambers, the moon to the left of him, and a monk to his right pointing to the moon). “It''s the wheel of Samsara,” Azrael explained, noticing Zoe staring at it. I averted my eyes, as the whole design drew more attention than I wanted to pay to the area around her crotch, and like Aqorm she was not wearing a bra. Elias was wearing temple garments, yeah, like the Mormons. Nevras was in nothing but white boxers with hearts, although I would have liked to see his cute body in some bra and panties. I was wearing the most functional and comfortable lingerie I could find, no frills of any kind. I had a gray sports bra and matching brief panties. They were very plain, but I liked them.

    “Hey, Michael! Can you give us something to wear that won''t make us sweat so we''re somewhat decent?” I said, glaring at Aqorm and her nice body and her round perky breasts that managed to stay up without any support. “What? I''m comfortable! It''s your own fault you''re such a prude,” she said shortly before I punched her, demanded she take that back, and started rolling around on the ground with her. We were wrestling, honest. Michael seeing this display, shook his head. “I''m not giving you clothing until you actually need it.” Now, everyone but Aqorm (who didn''t seem to care what everyone thought) became utterly shocked. “Huh? Why not?” I asked him. Michael sighed, “You humans and your knowledge of good and evil. When you were on the island, you were in legitimate danger of death. Nothing about this environment can kill you, it can only cause you pain. Are you gonna die of embarrassment? Probably not. More importantly, if everyone can resolve their differences when in the worst place imaginable, they will get closer to each other in general. But since everyone''s so jealous of me being fully dressed, fine, I''ll take it all off too. “Banish Garment - Target: Self.” Then he removed his personal barrier. Down came the golden aura, and then off came his clothes as they converted into light or whatever. I stared. Michael made Nevras look ugly in comparison, he had a beautiful androgynous body with very soft curves. Nevras caught me looking, and I blushed, ashamed as I was lusting after this angel like a horny schoolgirl.

    Meanwhile, the whole time, Michael continued to walk past us without any sense of shame or modesty. Nevras and I talked our feelings out, though. Much like you''d expect about conversations in this place. I accused him of attraction to Azrael, from that one time she fell in his lap. He talked about how I wanted to leave him for any cuter guy who came along. We had a few months of random jealousy, and we hadn''t said anything about it then, so now it was all boiling up now. It wasn''t his fault though, I knew that. It was this damned place, I couldn''t keep my mouth shut and my impulse to hurt people under control. This place conspired to take our worst flaws and use them against each other.

    Somehow or other, we got to the temple. It was an old Christian temple from the looks of it, with pretty simple architecture. It had an old rugged cross on top, a triangular roof with pillars underneath, and a frame of solid marble, but the years had not been kind to this place. Statues of saints and angels stood covered with moss or broken, as did much of the building. A hunched over old lady swept the grounds. I stared at the building for a long while, until suddenly I gasped as I recalled my past as a vivid flashback.

    I saw my mom, with her brick red hair. Manna Leaven, God had called her. Her hair wrapped in bandanna, her clothes mainly earth tones, and she was diligently repairing a temple that only tourists might ever visit, since the demons weren''t interested, and tourism was down on account of the lovely climate here. I saw my mom trying to run the temple entirely herself, until one day, she just put her hands to her face in despair. She groaned, “I''ve been running this church for years, but people stopped coming centuries ago... Why do I do this? Am I destined to die alone?” As if to answer her question, a light descended, and the form of God appeared. Oh good, maybe God answered her prayer and set her up with whoever was my real dad. I would probably remember who he was this time, so I had to watch closely. Sёarch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

    And God said,

    What.

    Manna gave her consent, but not exactly as Mary the Virgin did, meekly saying “I am the Lord’s servant, may it happen to me according to your word.” I knew where I got my abrupt way of speaking now, for she said instead, “Come into me. Now.”

    I seriously was squeamish about watching my parents have sex, and I wasn''t sure how it was that I had a flashback from before my birth anyway, but I couldn''t stop watching for some reason. Probably the same reason everyone watches porn.

    Needless to say, having sex with God is ummm different, as different I suppose as some sort of tentacle hentai. I''m not gonna talk about tentacle hentai though. Not today, nope. There was nothing rough about this sex, God was a gentleman, but it does bear some explaining. God had no hands, no feet, and no obvious sex organs that I could see, so I at first wondered how this even worked. But then I saw God split into three distinct triangles and change his size, and I got a better impression. Each triangle functioned as if a large finger/mouth/other organ combination, and was able to fly to wherever she wished he''d touch or kiss, reading her mind and following her lead. The first triangle flew inside her mouth, allowing her to suck on it, and massaging her tongue before flying outside to kiss her, and then giving her triangular hickeys along her neck and ears, before kissing and massaging all the way from her back down to her feet. The second triangle had peeled off her clothing, then moved around her breasts and stomach, making her feel similarly good in front. The third one was apparently a giant perv, for it hung around her clit and massaged it. She started making moaning sounds, “Ahhh! This feels so...” At that moment, all three of these touched her in just the right area, for she climaxed, becoming very wet down below. The triangles stopped what they were doing and flew inside her vagina, penetrating her rather gently in the process. Somehow or other, I assume by all three joining inside her body, and what needed to be done had been done

    I was struck by how gentle all of this seemed. It was like a woman using her fingers on another woman rather than a man plunging it deep inside hard and fast. I suspect if she had been a virgin, she would not even have bled. She cried out, “...good!” just as God finished his work. God exited her body. Manna seemed to have a glow about her skin, and God likewise also glowed more than usual. I was officially traumatized.

    God told her, . She nodded, face still glowing with joy and ummm pleasure.

    Nine months passed, and I was born. “I will name her Ambrosia,” she said, after bearing me. About three or so years passed, and I was starting to walk around. True to God''s word, Manna was visited by God at least every week. While initially God only appeared as a triangle, once Manna got to know God, the deity''s guard was let down and apparently Manna got to see God''s human form. This form, however with shrouded in darkness, and I could see nothing but silhouette. Apparently she could see God though, because she seemed surprised by something about God''s features.

    I was starting to do other stuff too, I had some sort of strange abilities not at all like my Oracle abilities. They were more like some sort of psychic ability. I was apparently able to create light, heal people, and fire big blasts of energy. You know, just harmless tricks. My dad appeared as a floating triangle, and Manna greeted him, “You''re back! I''ve waited all week!” For someone who had no face that I could read, God looked down in the dumps. I apologize, he said. Manna looked confused, “What for?” God answered, I must break my promise, and take Ambrosia from you.

    Confusion turned to outrage, “What?!? Why?” God said, So much for the second one. I wasn''t thrilled to be seeing all this weird sex, but this was how I got here. Manna said, “...” After the audible pause, she said, “I understand. But I want to take her to a family who I trust.” He said, . I got the distinct feeling of a blush, even though Father had no face. “I love you too,” she laughed, “don''t be so embarrassed!” She had another concern, “But...” He asked, Yes? She continued, “Will I ever be able to see Ambrosia again?”

    I looked back at my journey with a growing sense of realization. God could have done this whole thing himself, but he didn''t. Talking to God, I realized one huge reason was resolving problem this way is boring, but I also understood his other reason now. He comforted her, . She thanked him, as the flashback faded out. I started crying.

    “What''s wrong?” asked Nevras. An hour or two earlier I was fighting him over my stupid jealousy, and now I was hugging him for support. “I remember,” I said, “I remember everything. This is the church my mom used to run. You know, Manna Leaven. Manna Brahman, I mean.” I heard a voice from the side of the temple, “I thought I heard something...” She looked at me, “Ambrosia? Is that you?!? ...It is you! I''d recognize you anywhere. I see so much of your Father, looking at you...” I''d never seen Dad''s eyes or face so I couldn''t even get a good mental image. “My lands, child! I haven''t seen you in ages!” she exclaimed. I asked her, “Do you still see Dad every week like he promised?” She raised an eyebrow, “How do you know about that promise?” I told her, “You had God erase my memories, didn''t you? When I saw this place, I think I must have broken the binding on my memory. Everything came flooding back, even the memories you two had.” Manna nodded, “I see. Well, perhaps one day, you''ll be able to talk to God. In person, I mean. He''s really different without his symbolic form. Come visit more often! Your last time was years ago!” She hugged me, and I introduced all the friends I''d met along the way. She told me, “I''m getting old, Ambrosia. Remember to visit me regularly. I will surely join God when I die, but I still don''t relish having nobody there to witness my death.” After that, we had to leave, for there were no beds to spare.

    Walking back to Hell was a chore. Michael agreed it was okay to have clothing now, and gave all of us black to wear. The entire place was such that traveling even a few miles was oppressive. I suddenly wanted to strip down, only this time, I wasn''t likely to be picky about what I wore. But Michael said to leave these black clothes on.

    I saw my mother in Heaven the next time I visited. But never again on this Earth. She died not long after, and I made the inscription for her grave when I visited again. It showed the words, ?Here lies the mortal body of Manna Brahman. Buried by her daughter, beloved of her husband, forever.? After what seemed miles of torture, we made it to Hell.

    If we thought the town might be a haven from the misery of life outside, we were sadly mistaken. It was more temperate than the area around it, but.... the town of Hell was everything a city should not be. Those who wanted to work were kept indoors by law, while those who hated work were forced to work. And if people made some money, it was redistributed with others, leaving them with little or nothing to show for their efforts. Even those who got charity didn''t get to enjoy it, because of taxes.

    Since Hell was not part of the Council system, they felt completely okay taxing people''s earnings. Aggressively, in fact. No sooner did someone make some money selling from a shop than the tax demon came up to their store and tried to shake them down. I watched as this happened all day. People had to pay per hour to park their horses, mounts, or vehicles. Property taxes were so high that in the hour since we walked in, we saw about four different people getting evicted from their houses. You weren''t allowed to sleep in the streets, that was true of any town. But because of property tax, nobody even really owned land so they could be tossed out at any time. If you didn''t have money for the inn, you were basically forced out of town where the temperature was much worse. Oh yeah, and zoning laws were such that you couldn''t build anything outside of town on the entire island. Mom''s church had only managed by being grandfathered in.

    Taxes weren''t the only thing though. There was widespread hunger and thirst, and it stemmed from from the fact that Hell''s currency was on a different system than Gold. With Gold, you worked hard, and mostly got to keep your earnings, because they represented your sovereignty through labor. With Record of Value, you were basically writing a check and nobody cared, because the more generous you were, the more it helped others. But this system ran under a currency known as Lucre.

    Lucre was a currency that was a coin forged as fiat money from dried blood, sweat, and tears of humans and other demons, shaped together through unknown means. There were Lucre credit cards, and the interest rate was (of course) usury. It was also issued only by banks, and only minted as a result of debt, meaning it basically had to be paid back with interest as soon as it was given out. All of the money was basically spent around to conceal the original debt-owing parties. And rumor had it, they were working on making their money even more sadistic.

    The one thing they didn''t have was any RFID (Runic Frequence Interaction with DNA) systems or microchips in their cards that possibly made the hand glow. I had heard earlier the State tried this outside Hell, but it was finally struck down under the Council. The demon telling me about this explained that their economy before the Lucre was the Mark of the Beast. It started out with the Phantom Virus, where nobody was allowed inside without masks or gloves; after everyone kept trying to outdo each other, eventually everyone was dressed like Shy Guy. The idea of enforcing masks and gloves became a joke, so they tried something different. A marker inserted into the neck or hand of people acted as constant surveillance. However, it proved to be a terrible idea, because demons started cutting each other up so they could access more money. After the population of Hell started to dramatically fall to the point of near extinction of the demon race, demons decided the amount of death exceeded the amount of suffering, and it was so much more fun to torture others than kill them. The demon telling me all this said, “” A loan? Why not just give it to us? It''s not like we could pay this back, like ever. The only jobs we knew of that demons saw as valuable were usually either outright criminal or... oh no, we''re not doing that.

    Okay, just a quickie. After paying the demon back and saving the other 50 Lucre, we explored the rest of the town. It sucked. And I had lived in Opening for quite awhile. The river nearby was flowing with salty water so we had to buy water in order to not feel gnawing thirst for our entire visit. Oh yeah, and while you couldn''t die, you could still sweat, pee, feel hungry and all the rest, so we were in constant agony.

    The few plants that managed to survive in here were not much good either. There was the mandrake, which was technically used in potions against petrifaction, but it had to be pulled by deaf people since it had a tendency to scream of such a frequency that those hearing it would simply keel over and die. Then there was the Zaqqum tree which as everyone knows used to be a planting of the Tree of Life, but it was so horribly mangled after Knowledge of Good and Evil that the fruit was spiky like a mutant durian. This fruit pricked you, more often than not draining your blood, and if you managed to eat the fruit inside, not only did it taste horrible, but while it did in fact give you immortality, it trapped you here. You were chained to this place and couldn''t leave. Heaven was a place where you were in bliss and with loved ones, but here, you were unable to properly love anyone, since you were in too much pain.

    Oh yeah, and a variety of crow with deep red eyes and a jagged beak tended to fly nearby and bite anyone who did manage to keep a positive attitude. Being pecked by birds is always a sign of bad fortune. In the New Earth, nobody got bitten by bugs or mosquitoes, so the idea of an actual bird messing with someone was a curse.

    Aside from a river of salt in one area, and another of blood (in order to stay hydrated we used alchemy to filter it into an empty “water” jug), dry rotten land, and rickety wooden bridges everywhere, there were three houses of interest. The first was what looked like a church, that had a holy symbol of some sort burned on the brick, but it turned out to be a pub, a place for another sort of spirits. The second was an item shop that sold weapons of fire or darkness, and seemed to be really good quality stuff. Figures though, we finally have a place with awesome weapons, and we can''t afford anything. As it was, we couldn''t afford even to rest at the inn, since that was 50 Lucre, and we had spent 10 on an empty bottle of booze. We''d heard there was an Oracle in town so we asked around. “,” said a tall demon woman with blue skin and green hair. “,” said a demon man with glowing red eyes and six arms, “.” A third demon, with razor sharp teeth said, “H?u?m??a???ns???,?? ??h?u??h?????? ???C???o??m??e?? ?c??l?o???s??er.? ” As he licked his lips and we backed away, we decided to maybe take the other guy''s advice. Searching around again, we found out that he was at the pub, and we could probably find him sitting on a throne. After entering the pub and finding a lizard man, two couples, and bartender, we passed by those and looked for a man on a throne. We instead saw this flat-chested woman who looked kinda like an elegant gothic lolita singer. She had straight blond hair with bangs in front, but her hair in the side and back curled into ringlets. This plus her pale skin reminded me of some old doll, and I was tempted to think someone placed one to sit on the throne while Satan was away until I saw the “doll” blink and then stare in my direction. She wore very dark eye-shadow, blue lipstick, and a frilly blue dress with a matching bonnet. Her eyes were a deep enough shade of red that I understood that she was not in fact human.

    Or in fact female. Like many people I had met on this strange quest, this person appeared to be feminine until he spoke. Not that there aren''t plenty of crossdressers or transgender folk who have a feminine voice, but this is from training. This one had the breathy sexy voice of a singer. He knew my weakness though... I love sexy androgynous types. This must be Satan. There was one way to find out, I had to flatter him until he either confirmed or denied it. I exclaimed, “What tremendous demonic energy! This must be the Hell''s ruler!” To my surprise, he shook his head, “.” Okay, so Satan wasn''t the true ruler of Hell? And what was this about God being in charge here? Father wouldn''t cause evil! Would he? While I was thinking about this, Satan asked me point-blank, “” I shook my head, “You tempt people, right?” Satan sighed, “”

    I asked, “So why do bad things still happen?” Satan scoffed, “” I thought of Zoe''s sudden sacrifice leading to her own immortal body, all her different incarnations, and how much this had been a development into something new rather than a preserving of stagnant things. I remembered my question, “Oh, right. I wanted to find Lilith, the Oracle.”

    He explained that Lilith was a bit of an oddity in town. Most demons had angel counterparts, and acted like proper demons. But Lilith was was different. She was unable to connect to other demons, and she had no angelic counterpart. Although she lived in Hell, she had somehow bought a house with no property taxes, and locked herself inside. The key was said to be delivered to the nearby volcano where none could bother her without risking their lives. Yay, I always wanted to visit an active volcano!