AMBROSIAI climbed the Mountain of Fate, as the locals called it. We had ignored most of the towns on our way here, so we were just skipping straight to our main quest. I''m sure they weren''t worth exploring anyway?

    The Mountain of Fate was a much easier climb than Tsukuyomi Mountain back home. It seemed like along of people must have used it, because aside from switchbacks, it was a fairly smooth path. I made it past the merchant at the base selling arrows, past the highest tree which looked like it was struggling due to the low atmosphere, past a rocky and windy section, and managed to make it to the top. We ate and drank what we could find, after wandering for awhile out in the Void Wastes, and looking kinda skinny.

    The locals of the Temple of Sorrow had talked about this mountain. They had said, “The nearby area has a vast desert in the Void. You won''t be able to make it out alive. But on the off-chance you do, nearby that is the Mountain of Fate. You, uhhh, don''t want to go up this mountain. People I''ve talked to have tried to climb it, but they never came back the same way.” I asked him, “You mean, they got injured on the mountain? They broke their legs, or something?” He shook his head, “Not from my experience. In fact, to check it out, one of our people sent spies to follow them up the mountain. They made it nearly to the top unchanged. Then the people came down, and they were crazy. The spies themselves tried reaching the top, and they too had to be treated.” I had made it past the Void Wastes, I had made it nearly to the top. What was waiting for me up here? I told the others to stop short of the peak. Whatever happened, I didn''t want them going mad too.

    EVIL AMBROSIA

    Hi there. My reputation is something I live with all of the time. I mean, everyone calls me Evil Ambrosia, and I got Thanatos''s help to actually change my face so I didn''t look exactly like her. I was given a different outfit, hair style and color, and so on. In actual fact, I have the same ponytail as her, the same clothing, the same abilities, the same everything. I have a bit more knowledge of my feelings and subconscious than her but otherwise, yeah, identical twins!

    I''m not evil, by the way. I''m called this, because I remind her of “evil,” I show her deepest desires. To superego-driven Ambrosia, I seem evil though. She is impulsive, surprisingly so. But not where it counts. She hasn''t really acted on her desires towards him, and that is why he left, I''m certain of it.

    I traveled this whole way with her, since I am inside of her. Nevras breaking up is really breaking her up. And yet, this mountain is a test. In order to receive the Oracle of Tao''s true power, she needs to face me. Others made it up the mountain. But none of them were Oracle, so when they saw their other selves, they cracked up. They couldn''t face what was in the mirror.

    Ambrosia took the last step up the mountain, and paced around. This mountain had a way of gradually forcing people to deal with their own angst. If she tried to leave before she did, she would find the way down blocked by a barrier. She had no choice but to deal with her own stuff. And deal she did, no sooner did she stop pacing than she started whining. She cried, “Love isn''t everything, but I screwed it up. At this point in my quest, I could have been standing by Nevras''s side watching over this beautiful mountain as I finish my training. Instead, I do it alone. All the things they told me about love in stories aren''t true. All of it! They say love changes him, but he never changed, he was always lacking initiative.” Oh c''mon, don''t make this about him. You were the one who could have asked.

    She continued her monologue, “And he was always so wishy-washy, but he was also so gentle...” I blushed, as I thought about the things I liked about him. I don''t like rough men. He was so gentle and kind, even when he saw me. He accepted me as another Ambrosia, not the evil one. And he was soooo sexy in that dress. She said, “If I could have him back, I wouldn''t change a thing. They say sex solves problems, I wouldn''t know, but somehow, I doubt this thing has a quick fix. They say the guy will always do the work in stories, but that certainly wasn''t true. If only I''d known, I''d have tried harder to win his heart.” I would have liked him to initiate sex with me, but I''d have asked too if I knew letting her run things would make us end up here. If I went back in time, the first thing I''d do is tell her to go back and get her man. But we''re stuck in this Realm of Void until we defeat Belial.

    She finished, “They say that you just sorta know if he''s the one. But if that were so, why''d it not work? They say you should change to make him yours in stories, but what about being yourself? They say playing hard to get works, but I know he wasn''t the type to pursue. And they say love works whether you''re a beggar or a king! Whoever, they are, I''ll kill them! In the end, the only truth is, even if I love, there''s no promise of love in return.” I wanted to put my hand on her shoulder. I felt for my other half, really I did. But she hated me. She saw me as a trickster, that I was only here to cause her harm. I needed to approach her slowly and not freak her out. Even if it meant acting like the evil person she thought I was.

    In a slightly mocking tone, I said, “Ambrosia, cheer up. You''ve still got me.” And no, I cannot control how my voice sounds. I wish I could sound like a normal girl and not like some kind of demon. She shook her head in disgust. She said, “What do you want?!?” Then she looked at my outfit. Normally, when I appeared to her, I was in my long dress, my tiara, and everything else. This outfit was designed to remind her of her ambition to be queen alongside Nevras. It usually just made her angry. But today, I wore nothing by deep blue boots of a similar cut to hers, a plain cotton brassiere of the same color, and a matching bike shorts. She asked, “And where are your clothes?” I guess I was projecting a desire to go after Nevras. All I know is my breasts were bigger than hers.

    I chuckled at her behavior, “Sweet likable Ambrosia, acting worse than me. Now this is refreshing!” She growled at me, “Shut up!You don''t know what you''re messing with today!” Oh trust me, I know. I know exactly what you''re feeling. You can''t see me most days, but I can see you. I was quick to correct her, “Are you kidding? I feel as much pain as you in my heart. And I have most of your anger to start with! So suck it, you tramp!” I can''t believe I said that. Not while I was looking like this. She sighed, “You know, right about now, there''s nothing to hold me back from fighting.”

    She pulled out her fishing rod and came for me. I decided now was the time to stop pretending, so I dropped my disguise. Seeing a mirror image of herself but for minor differences in shade managed to completely rattle her nerves. She paused mid-swing. I took advantage of this gap to pull out my own weapon. I grabbed my fishing pole and caught her arm with the hook. She caught her hook in my face. “Ow, ow, owwww! Hey, let''s not use the fishing hooks, Ambrosia,” I said. We agreed to a temporary truce while the two of us unhooked from each other''s bodies. She said, “Let''s try this again.” This time, we tried in earnest using our Oracle powers. Our Trigram abilities had been lost along the way of gaining Crests, and Predict was a skill we barely knew how to use, but we used it plenty now. I could see that she was going to use Lilith''s Crest, so I stepped through the motions of Alexander''s Crest, snuffing the darkness in light. She obviously knew I was planning Chronos next, because she countered with Aiken, closing her body up from attack while I stopped her body in time. Great, I couldn''t even hurt her while she was otherwise open to attack. She used Michael''s martial form to pull off a long string of physical attacks against me, but I used Apollo''s defensive form to pull away from each of them and counter. She looked pretty beat up, so I paused a bit. I didn''t want to hurt her, but this was part of her test. Neither of us dared use Thanatos, because this battle wasn''t to the death. I could see a future where she used Four Gods, so I went into the steps of my Apollo Crest, crossing my arms against her move. But to my surprise, she paused. She waited. And waited. Then just as I dropped my guard, she whipped through the movements of the Four Gods form, catching me off guard. She swept through to the next form, trapping me in time using Chronos. Then I got hit a couple more times with her other stuff. By the end of it, I looked more beaten up than her. As the Crests could also be used as martial arts, we switched to this under mutual agreement. I blocked her moves, sweeping my fists in circular motions, then pushed her kicks away with my other hand. We were reading moves and our body went with the flow, as we dodged each other''s attacks. I went behind her, only for her to sidestep and pull me to the ground.

    I punched toward her head, but she moved through the entire motions of tai chi chuan, sweeping my attacks aside and responding with powerful attacks of her own. We were no longer mirroring each other. She had won. And yet, there was a sadness in her victory. Living beings in the New Earth do not have shadows. But I was about to give her one. I moved towards her and touched her cheek. “I will always be with you, just ask for my help,” I told her. Suddenly, all of our wounds disappeared, for this battle had not and could not exist. We were the same person, I had simply hidden that fact from her all this time. She said, “I feel different now. It still hurts, but I don''t feel as alone anymore.” Our body had all eight Crests lit, plus the Tao in the center was finally active. I could feel its power. “Try it out!” I told her. Moving through the forms, she completed all 28 forms of the Yang Style, and summoned me from her shadow. Then she used Roll Back Push in one direction to send a ball of Yin Yang energy at a nearby tree. I could hear her having a sort of psychic conversation with me, as I was part of her, and vice versa. Reality grayed out to just the tree and her, and I could feel something strange. It was like there was a sort of Resonance between her and the tree, as if they were at war with each other over who would exert will over the other. Thankfully, even as depressed as she was, she still had more of a sense of self than a tree, but I worried about strong-willed creatures. Her power hit the tree, and it imploded under its own pressure. After this, one would think that this was the end of it, but the Tao apparently enforced balance in the universe. There was a sort of palpable feedback, as she felt some of the pain she''d just inflicted on the plant. Taking a cue from her, I used Chronos to rewind everything that happened to the plant. We headed down the mountain.

    AMBROSIA

    Joining the others, I felt strangely better. Well, I still hated the way things turned out with Nevras, and it would probably put me in a mood for the entire battle against Belial. And yet, now I knew that Evil Ambrosia wasn''t really evil at all, she was the part of me that wanted to do things I was too reluctant to do. It was almost like I''d gained a cute older sister who knew more about me than I understood.

    The others talked about what to do next, but I couldn''t really concentrate. I was too busy chatting with myself in a long conversation, until at last Elias asked, “Ambrosia, what do you think?” About what? I pretended I knew exactly what he was talking about and nodded, “Of course. Let''s do that.” They totally were fooled by this.

    ELIAS

    Nobody was fooled by this. Noticing that she wasn''t paying attention, I talked about how rabbits were really just furry dinosaurs, and asked her what she thought about this. Zoe and the rest raised an eyebrow. We could tell this was affecting her.

    While we could have explored the Realm of Void further to make sure there weren''t any important items that could be used to defeat Belial more easily, I could read her mood. We were going to skip as much as possible, and head straight to Belial''s castle. We ran into a number of creatures on the way down, but Ambrosia dispatched them easily with her new ability. She seemed to be focusing more on something in her own head than the world around her. She was distracted, and each time she used her powers against something, she seemed to grow more depressed. I wouldn''t categorize this change as evil, though. I was more like a sort of power that amplified emotions she couldn''t handle right now. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling.

    A person in a hood approached us as we made it to the base of the mountain. The voice was definitely female, though their face wasn''t clear. She seemed to be walking funny, almost like her lower body was a sealskin, but I couldn''t tell from the long robe.

    “Before you head down the mountain,” she said, “there''s something you should have.” Ambrosia asked, “What''s this?” It looked like a Transport Coin. These were very rare. “It''s a Transport Coin,” the girl said, “It''s very hard to make, but we gathered the dimensional energy, and I was sent back in time to meet you. This coin can summon transportation from the other world, including that huge dragon of yours.” Ambrosia looked shocked, “How do you know about Bahamut? Just who are you?” She explained, “I am a follower of Yazim Jianne, the dread sorcerer who summoned Belial. He wanted to to tell you that he is sorry for his actions, and he is waiting for you near his wife''s tomb.” While I had only heard of Yazim Jianne from Delphi, Ambrosia looked shaken, like she knew the man personally. Where had she met him?

    A gift was a gift, though. We made it down the mountain, and tossed the Transport Coin into the air. When it landed back into my hand, a portal opened up, and Bahamut came through. We rode on its back, enjoying the grey lifeless scenery of the Realm of Void at high speed. We made it once again to the door, and this time Ambrosia wasted no time bashing down the door with her powers.

    AMBROSIA

    The inside of the castle of Belial was filled with rooms covered with all sorts of puzzles. But I wasn''t in the mood, so I blew up the locked door to the later sections. I made it to a room where our old friends, Sera and Phim, were standing guarding the way. I had no time for this crap either. We ignored those two trying to talk, and just went all out at full strength until they were a red stain on the floor. I could feel everything, as part of the Tao Crest, so the more I killed the crummier I felt. I was covered in guilt and I was in actual pain, but I had no choice. I needed to finish Belial off.

    I entered a long corridor. I walked along for roughly a mile, yet I appeared no closer to either the beginning nor end of the corridor. I had the others try to burst through the wall, but after making a hole on the side, I glanced over. There was another me in a parallel room, looking into a hole at another me at another me... Disturbed, I reversed the hole, so I wouldn''t get creeped out by infinite versions of myself.

    We were getting nowhere, though. I was trapped. I couldn''t move forward, and I couldn''t go back, and I couldn''t get out except maybe by dying. And with my luck, I''d even wind up as a ghost stuck in this very hall. I kept walking. I had gone maybe five or ten miles. The hall had carved stone walls, a dresser mirror, a table, and some old lights staggered every few feet. Every now and then, a gargoyle statue or a large bowl of trinkets showed up. I could gauge roughly a length of about 150 yards. It was impressive, but I''d seen the same stuff over and over again. My legs gave out. “I feel like I''ve been walking forever,” I said, “sorry, but I just need to rest here.” I took a nap for a few hours. “I''m fine now,” I said. I walked yet some more. Finally, I said, “No good... It''s hopeless. I keep walking forever, and it just keeps going on and on...” My eyes blinked, and suddenly, I noticed that much of the furniture was missing, leaving the hall now with just bare stone walls. Maybe I had just imagined it anyway. “Will I ever return from this quest? Will I ever see my family again?” I had just learned who my mother was, and who my real father was. And now would I be able to visit them? You can''t, a voice echoed in my head. “I need to keep going,” I said, “but...” It''shopeless, a voice echoed in my head. I was soooo hungry and sooooooooooooo thirsty. “If I don''t have something to eat or drink soon, I''ll die...” The voice called to me, Youneverexisted.

    Could that really be true? Has all this journey been the final hallucination of a dying person? Or did I die some time during my beggar years? The voice repeated, Youneverexisted. That''s right. I never existed to start with. My life makes no sense!

    I glanced at the reflection of myself inside this warped space. All of a sudden, the face faded away. Then, like a giant mirror shattering, all that I was fragmented. I faded away too. There was no body, no self, no me at all. “I should just fade into nothing and disappear,” nobody said. I heard voices call out to me. “Ambrosia!” Elias said. “Ambrosia!” Aqorm said. “Ambrosia!” the others said. “Guys...” The voice repeated, You never existed. “No, it can''t be real,” this person who was me said, “I never was there to meet them, in the first place. I''m just a character in a book.” A fierce voice called, “Ambrosia, you cut that out! All of us are waiting!” That must be Aqorm. A scholarly voice called after her, “Ambrosia, don''t leave us. We care about you...” Elias, I guess. “I''m sorry guys, thanks. But I don''t exist. I''m not sure about you either.” Everything around faded into blackness as the voices faded away. Then there was nothing. But wait... a heartbeat. It was slow, but definitely there. I heard a heartbeat. Nothing should exist, if I didn''t exist. But there was definitely one there. Then, I heard a voice. Remember, in deepest darkness shines the light. God''s voice? I heard those voices of nagging doubts again, yet I noticed... they were coming from somewhere. They weren''t my own. Straining my senses, I opened my eyes. I realized that I had eyes. I was sitting in a room with the others. I said, “Everyone, I love you! Thank you for believing in me!” as I gave everyone nearby a group hug. It felt kinda nice...

    ELIAS

    Ambrosia appeared to have been under a sort of tailor-made trap specifically suited for her. As soon as she entered the hallway, her understanding of reality became distorted. She went comatose, and began using her Crests, waving her arms about. I had originally planned to just let her use her Crests to break the effect, but when I saw her using her Aiken Crest to become more insubstantial, we had to do something. It was likely this trap would trigger each time she entered, and she would be unable to remember anything about this being familiar. The exact same event could repeat, and none of us would even know it. It was okay now, though. We were safe.

    The room was a large square with not too much furniture, but Belial was in his urn, and the lid was loosening. We stood nearby, ready for anything. Only, we weren''t. The urn suddenly burst, and out came something vaguely resembling an enormous armored serpent with arms, huge teeth, and horns. Regular attacks and even spells seemed to bounce off its flesh. The dagger Ambrosia held didn''t seem to be reacting like it would against an Elder Formless. This battle would be tough.

    AMBROSIA

    Before any fighting took place, I needed answers. “Just who are you? And how long have you been messing with my mind?” He answered, “I ?a?m ?t?he? B?eas?t? f?ro?m? th?e? ?Ja?r,? ?Bel?i?al, ?and ?as fo?r ho?w lo?ng? ?I? ?hav?e? ?b?een? m?essing? wit?h? ?you?.?.?.? ?.?..A?c?tual?ly?,? ?I? ?j?ust ?fo?un?d ?o?ut ab?ou?t ?yo?u? ?whe?n? ?y?ou? en?t?e?r?e?d? ?my? ?ha?llway?. I? w?ou?l?d? ?h?a?ve? ?suc?c?e?e?d?e?d ?i?n ?s?ealing ?yo?u?r ?po?we?r? ?just? ?then?,? i?f ?n?ot ?f?o?r? y?o?ur ?fr?ie?nd?s?.? ?So ?f?r?a?gile? i?s? t?h?e? p?o?we?r? of hu?ma?ni?t?y?.? ?The?y? r?e?l?y on? e?a?c?h ot?her? f?o?r? a?ll.? D?e?s?troy?ing? t?h?e?m? ?is? ?a? ?s?i?mpl?e ?m?a?t?ter o?f? breakin?g? one ?l?i?n?k o?n th?e? c?ha?i?n betw?een pe?ople?!? ?O?b?s?erv?e?!?” So saying, he held his clawed hand high in the air, calling forth a ball of energy. We managed to dodge out of the way, but the ball left a crater in the ground. No helping it, I guess, we''d have to fight.

    Zoe tried to go Sage form. But she had yet to really master the technique. She''d used it once or twice, but there was still a risk of doing it wrong. Like today. When she tried it, she drew in too much energy, and went all stone toad on us. Azrael, as part of her spell research, and possibly because she care deeply for Zoe, had conducted a study during one of our trips into Kushiyama. Along with other things, she must have come up with a treatment for whatever caused that condition, because after a few minutes, Zoe was back to normal. Only, she had not one but two mutations to her lungs. She was gasping for air, and in poor condition to fight. Azrael couldn''t do much now either, since most of her effort for the time being was normalizing her beloved. Aqorm couldn''t use geomancy here, as this castle was virtually devoid of land mana, so she had to rely on her blades. She was tough, but Belial was tougher. Belial had skin that needed a lot more force in order to penetrate than she was currently capable of. Elias had some use, but although Belial as a demon was weak to holy attacks, most of his mystic power was instead used keeping everyone healthy. Belial had a pretty terrible bite, he clawed at us, he used elemental magic, and darkness-based magic, and every now and then, for good measure, he whipped his tail around, smashing all of us with a lot of force. Michael and Lilith were doing all the work. Lilith was whacking him with her stone, Michael was using Script to summon various projectiles made from holy energy to toss at her. “Holy Arrows, Quantity - 30, Radius - One Target,” Michael said. Lilith complained, “This is too hard. Why is it just us?” Michael responded, “Patience, demon girl. Sooner or later, this demon will fall.”

    Nobody else could fight this creature. It was up to me. I had to do it alone. While I could bash this demon around with Alexander''s holy energy, I was convinced that the best way to hurt him was to use my new Tao ability. Because, you know, there isn''t a proper time or place to use abilities, you should just use the strongest one without thinking about the drawbacks.

    I actually knew how the Tao worked. But I couldn''t help myself. The same traits that were good about the Tao in battle also were drawbacks. Right now when I felt powerless to stop Nevras, that feeling of power was addictive. Likewise, I knew that the Resonance ability of the Tao, which made you connect on a spiritual level with your enemy was not only its greatest strength but also its biggest weakness. When you used the Tao, the boundary between you and the target of your attack faded away. You were them, and they were you. There was no difference, you were fighting yourself. A well adjusted person would feel for their enemies, and feel normal regret, yet understand that this was part of battle, and in the long-term, things had to be done. They would have mastered themselves, and be able to face themselves without being defeated. It is very confusing to explain, but the point is, the more emotionally healthy I was, the stronger the Resonance, and the more devastating the attack was. I was not emotionally healthy right now, though. Not in the least. I was upset about Nevras leaving, I was distracted, and I was addicted to this. I was willing to use it when other abilities would do the same thing at a slower rate, but with far less risk. Let''s see, this move went Roll Back Push...

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