CHAPTER 105: START OF A NIGHT

Without another word, Anshur’s shoe hit my head with a sharp little kick that sent me stumbling back against the carpet. She sat there, arms crossed, face carved out of stone.

"Now that you know," she said, her voice low and dangerous, "be sure to shut up."

She stood up and started heading towards the door, but I sat back up, rubbing the sore spot on my forehead.

"Wait," I called out, surprising myself. "Before you go... I want to ask... What do the Sonders mean to you?"

That stopped Anshur as she lingered by the handle, torso half-turned and her eyes narrowing. Then she let out a breath.

"The mistress, or the two young madams’ mother, took me in," she said at last, tone clipped. "After my parents died in a car accident, and our company went under. She trained me into a maid, made me into what I am... And I owe them everything."

That was... Unexpected and sad, but to be honest, I did not, at all, feel much sympathy... never did with these kinds of sob stories, especially how she was doing all that class warfare shit on me while she also had a low point in her life where she was practically homeless and an orphan, but I kept my poker face on.

"Guess they mean a lot to you," I said.

As she nod and sighed, I deliberately tilted my head as I stood back up on my foot, looking up at her.

"So... about the boyfriend... Or girlfriend, I don’t judge. Why did he or she or they or ze dumped you?"

Her mouth twitched. For a second, I thought she’d cave in and vent to me or just say screw you and leave, but instead she swerved the conversation.

"What about you? How did you end up like this?" she left the door handle and took a step closer. "Filthy, parasitic... Lusting after the very people who took you in, pleasuring yourself in public, didn’t your mother teach you any better? Are all of you like this?"

I stared at her.

For a good five seconds.

Just without an expression.

She smirked, thinking that I got nothing to say and that she won if this were ever a competition... Well, I did have something to say, but I was thinking about it real hard... And decided to go with it.

"Aren’t you basically the same, Anshur von Rodolfo?"

She frowned.

"Think about it," I continued, keeping my tone casual. "You hover around the Sonders like a guard dog, obsessively protecting them from me... You may consider it loyalty. But tell me that doesn’t look like lust and yearning, just... you know, the non-vaginal kind, more like a more sickening kind, do you know the term Yandere? Voyeurism?"

That did it, her whole body tensed, fists clenched, and she looked ready to launch at me. She raised her arms and held me down by my shoulders.

"Violence only proves you’re insecure and childish!" I cut in quickly, my heart was hammering, but I forced my voice steady as I almost pissed myself, "If you can actually explain your reasoning, and it’s valid, I’ll walk away. I’ll leave them alone forever, no more problem, and I’ll make sure to make Hailie happy by still keeping in almost 24/7 contact with her! We can plan it out!"

Her nostrils flared, for another long moment, she glared at me, but then her shoulders and grip eased slightly.

"It’s not lust, you dimwit," she said finally, sharp as broken glass. "It’s that they deserve better than you. Everyone in this mansion can see you’re full of lust, they just don’t know who for. But if, if they knew it was the Sonders you’re feasting your eyes upon? They’d all come for you, just like me... The chefs may have already spit on your food for all I know."

That was... Concerning, great, thanks for the thought of eating someone’s spit... Well, I do have to see if the kitchen’s composed of mostly male or female staff first and take my chances if that became a problem.

I coughed, and continued.

"Then why you specifically? Why not just wait for someone else to ’come for me’? Why would you go out of your way to commit a crime if I’m not a threat?" I asked, dusting off my shoulders, "I couldn’t touch the Sonders if I tried, there’s always someone with them like how Hailie got Gerald and Eirlys got that one dude with sunglasses... And if I did anything stupid, I’d be in maximum security solidatary confinement for the rest of my life, and you know that."

For once, she hesitated and her lips pressed thin.

"...Because I like it, I guess" she admitted quietly, almost trailing off in thoughts "Hurting something smaller, watching it squirm and bleed... Even though I know it’s wrong but, gosh, it excites me."

...

What the fuck did she just say?

That answer was so absurdly out of pocket that the room just... stopped. We stood there in silence, two idiots sharing a secret nobody should’ve said, hell, not even to their most trusted friend, I wouldn’t even tell Ann or Gimsen that.

"So protecting them is just an excuse?" I asked eventually, probably after 10 seconds, "It’s a flimsy, self-righteous cover?"

She shook her head, scowling.

"No, no no... I do want the best for them, the husband and wife, the young ladies... All of them. You just happen to be here, you’re an easy outlet."

"Yeah, that’s called an excuse, dipshit."

Her jaw worked, but she didn’t answer, so I took this opportunity to press on.

"Fine, forget that. Please, for the third time already, can you tell me about the partner and how’d you get dumped?"

She stared down at me for a beat, then finally relented.

"He said I spend too much time at work." Anshur replied, "Because I do... I live here five out of seven days, can’t touch my phone until past ten-thirty at night... And of my two free days, I spent one torturing you, that was the last straw."

"Geez, thanks for the effort," I gave her a sarcastic nod. "Fair story."

This entire conversation went nowhere and could’ve been an email, but now I got evidence against her on my trusty hidden camera.

She turned back towards the door, holding the old bedsheet. But suddenly, I held her by the shoulder. Which startled Anshur and she slapped my hand away as she turned.

"What are you doing?"

"Geez, calm down." I said, shaking my hand, "About that whole... tendency to hurt smaller things."

Anshur raised her eyebrows.

"Do you know of the term safe word?" I asked.

I’ve come to embrace the fact that I am unsalvagable, and shall use it to my strength.