CHAPTER 21: HORRIBLE TEAMMATE

I logged back into Darkmoon Adventure with a groan that carried over from the real world. It had been milleniums, almost a whole day of not really wanting to go far from where Hailie log off. I fear that she might wandered off and die, ruining our progress.

She’s way hotter in my sexual fantasies than in real life.

My avatar flickered into form beneath the dense canopy where I had logged out, somewhere behind a hill patch east of Beginning City. Perfectly camouflaged, completely untraceable, no spawn-camping tryhard was getting the drop on me.

When you are the greatest, you slowly realize that you will have to live in constant agony, realizing that everyone around you are just... potatoes.

Ping

The login notification hit me a second later.

Hailie has logged in

And there she was, my new little lamb.

Bright-eyed, level 1 or something, unarmed, and still unaware that her sweet cleric soul was being personally escorted into hell, by me, yours truly, again.

"Cory~!" came her chirpy voice as she went over to hug me.

I won’t say no to guilt-free VR boobs squishes.

’Oh no,’ I thought, ’She’s chipper, must’ve finished one of her cutesy classes.’

"I passed my final test for the perfume class!" she declared, beaming. "Our tutor made us create a scent that matches our ’inner soul’ and she said mine smells like apricot and home-cooked sushi!"

"That... sure is a combo." I smiled like a customer service employee one day away from rent paycheck and couldn’t afford another complaint.

"I can play two hours a day from now on!" she continued. "From six to eight! Isn’t that amazing?"

"Yeah," I said dryly. "So generous. That’s like, enough time to reach the edge of one city tile."

She tilted her head, clearly missing the sarcasm.

"I’m glad," I added quickly, fixing my tone. "That means we can finish your Cleric quest in no time."

"Oh yeah!" she clapped, "Let’s go meet the nun lady!"

We made our way towards The Beginning Cathedral, a shining marble monolith adorned with stained glass windows and angelic statues that made even me feel like I should fake remorse.

Inside, robed acolytes tending candles, novices carrying baskets of herbs, and whispering orphans praying with excessive fidelity. It was all uncannily polished, one nun even sneezed.

Then came the main event: Sister Daleyn.

Blonde, severe, and too pretty for a nun. She looked like a character pulled from a gacha banner and voice-acted by someone getting paid real money.

Her eyes scanned us the way a principal sizes up two students walking in late.

"Hi, Sister! I’m Hailie!" she said with a bow. "I want to become a Cleric because I need to be helpful!"

God... Please kill me.

Daleyn ignored the overshare with saintly grace and turned to the shrine behind her as she motioned for Hailie to approach.

Then Daleyn looked at me.

"You... are her escort?"

"Her personal sinner," I said with a wink.

A long pause, I could’ve sworn she glared.

Don’t make me create another account to bully you again, Daleyn, I will and I can.

She recited the quest like it had been said a thousand times, but now with custom flags triggered by the Holy Favor conditions attached to my character.

[Quest Accepted: Thorns of Grace]

Description: Aid three spirits of the Wroeg’s Hollow through spiritual reconciliation.

Additional Conditions:

– Escort (CJS69Real) may not deal damage or use skills to harm.

– Escort must keep the Initiate alive.

– Initiate (Hailie) must perform three uninterrupted prayers.

– Initiate will be deaf throughout.

– Any damage resets spirit progress.

Notes: The spirits will not remain idle. They roam the Hollow seeking resolve.

May the goddess test your mercy.

Daleyn raised one hand over the shrine and chanted in that overly articulated priestess voice that made my skin crawl.

"Let the vow be sealed."

A quiet glow washed over Hailie, she blinked all confused, and her lips parted slightly.

Then...

"Y ain’t I ear anyin?" She said awkwardly, as if she couldn’t talk normally.

No reaction.

I mouthed "Can you hear me?"

She squinted, confused.

"You’re deaf." I said, pointing at my own ears, "Quest."

She "oooh" and nodded.

[Hailie has been afflicted with Deafness for the duration of the quest]

[CJS69Real has been afflicted with Pacifist Curse for the duration of the quest]

She’ll need time to adjust, us humans are so used to hearing our own voices that when we couldn’t, it can be a chore to talk, not knowing what we just said.

Skill issue, after all.

Now she was locked in a sacred silence, unable to hear the groans of ghosts, the clash of steel, or more importantly my manipulative little mutterings.

I faked yawn, before saying quickly, "I want to fuck your brains out."

She stared at me, mouthing something along the lines of "Did you say something?"

I pointed to the Cathedral gates, then mimed walking with my index and middle fingers.

She gave me a big thumbs-up, which meant either "Got it" or "I am rich." I don’t really know.

We walked eastward, the sky dimming with each step as Beginning City faded behind us and the jagged silhouette of Wroeg’s Hollow came into view. Trees leaned in like eavesdropping on us, well...

In one of the quests, they actually do, so perhaps the devs were foreshadowing? Ignoring that, I continued walking, using my arm to occasionally touch and check if Hailie was still next to me without wasting energy to turn my head.

Hailie clung a little closer as the path twisted past crooked fences and prayer stones. She kept mouthing questions I couldn’t answer without gestures or interpretive dance.

I could see her unease building, nice.

Just as we were walking...

She tapped me on the shoulder and held up her hands in a little "time-out" symbol.

Then she typed in the party chat, which, took me like 3 seconds to navigate and open up when I got the notification.

[Hailie: Sorry, it’s not 8PM yet but I need to help my sister with something! See you tomorrow! Love you!!!]

I didn’t even have time to respond.

[Player Hailie has logged off.]

I stared at the notification.

Then at the empty spot where she’d stood.

Then at the haunted hellhole of a hollow waiting below us.

"...You cannot be serious."

I clenched my fists. There wasn’t even anything to punch that wouldn’t void the quest.

I just had to sit here now, quest continued, I am unable to cause violence, while my escort wasn’t online.

And I couldn’t kill anything.

"This is the worst holy mission I’ve ever been on." I muttered, before screaming, "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK."